Friday, January 31, 2003

Well (afraid to say something for fear of "speaking too soon") blogger seems to be working again. Here's hoping!

I had a great day. I took today off and got a tonne of stuff done at home. House-worky things that have been piling up. My intention was to get everything done today so I could have a day off tomorrow to veg. I got all my stuff done so I intend to pamper myself, sleep in, read a little, basically relax, all day tomorrow. Should be nice, I deserve and I've been looking forward to a day to myself for a while.

Food and activity wise I did really well today. My folks stopped by for a visit this morning and my mother mentioned that I looked slimmer in the hips and tummy area. I was pleasantly suprised to hear that from her. I hadn't seen her since Christmas...I can't really see a difference when I look in the mirror. I notice small differences in my clothes, mostly in the past week or so. The positive reinforcement is nice, it felt good, I feel good. It was a good day...and on that note, I bid you all a good night!
something totally weird is happening with blogger today. My post from last night shows up in my archives but not on my front page. When I look at the FTP log, it's showing some kind of permissions error when it's writing to the page. Hopefully they'll get it sorted out soon.

I'm at home today, enjoying the sunshine pouring through my windows while I sip coffee and do laundry. Hope the sun's shining on your day too!

Thursday, January 30, 2003

today was a very good day. I'm almost 4 weeks into this new way of eating and living and it's really becoming "routine" if you know what I mean. I'm still reading labels and paying close attention to portion sizes but it's much easier now than it was 3 weeks ago. We had an amazingly delicious dinner tonight. My hubby made brown basmati rice with stir fried pork tenderloin, broccoli, green peppers, onion & garlic with some sodium reduced soy sauce and some hoisin. He's been experimenting with different types of rice in our rice cooker and he's really gotten this brown basmati down to a science. The veggies were crunchy and so tasty and the pork was very tender. It was just an incredible, satisfying meal.

Enough about food though! Now that the eating thing is getting really and truly under control, I want to increase my activity. We've been in a real cold snap here lately, and had a tonne of snow, so I haven't been getting outside to walk like I had hoped I would when I started doing this 4 weeks ago. I have been riding my recumbent bike but I'm making a goal to ride for longer periods of time in the coming week. I'd also like to add some kind of fitness tape situation to the mix as well. As I mentioned the other day, I found an old copy of Sweatin' to the Oldies last week and I enjoy it but I'd like to maybe vary it a bit. I'm really easing into this activity stuff as it's been ages since I've done anything resembling serious exercise so if anyone has any suggestions for tapes or dvds that will help me build up gradually and not hurt myself, I'd appreciate hearing about them.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

mmmm...midweek. I'm still feeling like a bit of a slug tonight despite the fact that I got a lot accomplished at work and for home today AND I stayed on program even though we went out for Chinese food tonight after work. I don't really have anything exciting to report. I'm really digging the weigh-better and excess matters forums though. Everyone on those two "boards" are very friendly and supportive. If you haven't visited them yet, check them out. I'm going to go and ride the bike while that 70's show is on, maybe that'll perk me up!!!

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

I'm still dragging my butt around today. My PMS is really kicking my ass this month. I didn't budge an inch off of plan today though so I'm pretty pleased with myself. I really enjoyed my meals today and I'm finding that I'm truly satisfied with the portions I'm eating and I'm feeling good for the better choices I'm making. I don't really have news to report so I think I'll cut this short and hit the bike for 30 minutes before bed (I totally slept in this morning so riding before work was out of the question)!

Monday, January 27, 2003

What a day. It wasn't bad until a couple of hours ago. I had an okay day at work, pretty busy what with it being Monday and all. I had my usual breakfast and lunch. I'm keeping with the piece of fruit for mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack thing. It seems to be really working well. It's totally keeping my appetite under control. After work though, we had to go grocery shopping. Because we had a huge snow storm over the weekend, the roads are still a little sloppy so we didn't go to the store we usually go to, we went to the one which was closer to our house. They are both Loblaws stores but the one outside of the city is much nicer than the one near our house. Anyway, it was kind of busy and full of really stupid people and by the time we were leaving I was really anxious to get home. I could feel PMS hitting me, full-force. By the time we got home and I put the groceries away, I was completely exhausted and on the verge of tears. I know you ladies all know what that's like, it's not because you're sad, it's because you feel frustrated for no apparent reason, and angry at the's so pleasant!

Anyway, I finally got to change into some comfy clothes and veg out in front of the computer for a bit, and chilled out. Neither one of us felt like cooking tonight so we had frozen pizza for dinner. It was one of those President's Choice "too good to be true" lactose & cholestrol free roasted veggie pizzas. It was okay, it had a whole wheat crust on it and some nice veggies but the sauce didn't taste like anything, it could have totally used some roasted garlic and maybe some rosemary.

After dinner, I was craving PMS I broke down, and for the first time in over 3 weeks, I had a piece of chocolate. Not a bar, not a box, just one piece. I had received a box of Godiva's for Christmas and had tucked them away in the back of the cupboard. Until tonight, I had completely forgotten about them. I opened up the box and allowed myself one piece. It was delicious, and I did not go over my calories today (in fact, I stayed under!) and it has soothed my hormones...I don't know if that is true or not, physiologically I'm not entirely sure that chocolate can do that ;-) It did make me feel better though, in control. I had a craving, and I fed it, in a reasonable way and it's over. I didn't go nuts and eat a large cadbury dairy milk, I had one small chocolate. Now it was very good, expensive chocolate, and I hadn't had one in a month. That's probably why it tasted so good. I'm quite proud of myself for that. I'd feel better about myself if I had gotten off my but and rode my bike today but I didn't. Tomorrow is another day though and I'm going to ride my bike. I'm going to try to do it in the morning when I get up, we'll see how that goes.

Oh, one more thing, I measured myself tonight and I'm down another 0.5" in total. I know that I'm probably bloated from PMS. So that's 8.5" in total. Not bad for 3 weeks. I know that the results are going to be slow to show and I have a long long way to go but I'm hanging in there.

Sunday, January 26, 2003

Wow, I just completed day 21! Three weeks, on plan! I feel terrific tonight. I had a great day food-wise and activity wise. We have been working on a huge re-organization / diy project around our house and we finished it today. I hauled boxes of books from room to room and was up and down our stairs more times than I care to count. We can now use every room in our house and we're not overloaded with boxes of stuff. I know that I wouldn't have had the energy or attitude to get it all finished up today if I hadn't been on this eating / fitness plan. I'm so happy with the house now, and happy with myself, I can't express it!! It's been a fabulous weekend!!!

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Today, due to my PMSing, I went a smidge over what I have been eating but it wasn't terrible. The past few days I had actually been under my caloric goal so I'm not going to feel badly about it. Mostly it was because we had a big supper (chicken and chinese veggies over brown rice). The brown rice is really healthy but it's sort of high in calories. We make it in our rice cooker though so there's no salt or fat added to it.

I found my solution to my PMS induced salt craving. Instead of mowing through a huge bag of chips, I snacked on some microwave popcorn this afternoon. It was very satisfying, I enjoyed it more than I have enjoyed popcorn in a long time. It was great just on it's own, no melted margarine or extra salt, I just had the plain popcorn. It smelled amazing too, felt really decadent and I wasn't beating myself up afterwards (like I would have if I had indulged in a chocolate bar or a bag of doritos).

Anyway, we're getting a huge ass snow storm here so there'll be lots of fun shovelling to do tomorrow. At least it's excellent exercise and lots of fresh air!!

Friday, January 24, 2003

Overall, I had a great day today, foodwise. So I changed my food program slightly today and I'm really happy with how it worked out. What I have been doing is not eating between meals at all, and I would find that I was getting really hungry mid-morning and mid-afternoon at work. I found a different yogurt to try (I've been having 1 yogurt a day - Neilson's Fat Free) and it's a smaller portion (I take them to work so it's easier for me if they are in the little containers) so there are fewer calories in it. With the calories I saved, I took an extra piece of fruit to work me and mid-morning, when my tummy started rumbling, I had an apple. The banana I'd been having for dessert after lunch, I saved for mid-afternoon. I found that I wasn't hungry at all today and was more satisfied by my dinner. I'm slightly PMSing so I didn't ride the bike tonight (read, I'm pooped!) but I'm going to take a longer ride on it tomorrow in an attempt to avoid any other PMS symptoms. This will be my first cycle on this plan and I'm not sure what's going to happen with my usual cravings. I haven't had any salt / chocolate cravings since I changed my eating habits so hopefully I'll sail through my period without any. I'll keep my fingers crossed & let you know how I do!

Thursday, January 23, 2003

I made it through another day. I know that it's probably boring to keep reporting that but it's a huge deal to me. I'm still keeping track of everything on Fitday and still getting in my exercise every day. It feels good to be totally in control of what I'm eating, I still sometimes can't believe that I'm doing this.

Tonight we had leftovers for dinner but it was delicious. Hubby stir fried a bunch of veggies with some leftover pork we had and served it over a bed of baby spinach instead of rice or noodles. It was so good. I've practically eliminated cheese from my diet and can't say that I miss it. Weird huh?

Anyway, I'm off to get some more work done (we're still working on our diy project), hope you all had successful days too & great evenings ahead!!

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Just got home, had dinner with my father-in-law tonight. I'm a little pooped tonight but I suspect that this is because of extreme cold temperatures. They make you want to hibernate. Anyway, rather than do that, I'm going to scoot downstairs and ride my bike while That 70's Show is on. Should be, um, silly to see Jack Osbourne on it. Not sure what to think about that. At any rate, I've got another successfull, on-program day under my track pants waist band. Yippee!!! That's 17 days in case you were wondering!
I'm just taking my lunch break, at my desk today (it's waaaay too cold outside to walk - not to mention really icy) and was reading the health news on Yahoo. There was an article which discussed the merits of high-protein versus low fat, high-carb diets. I've been doing the later one, lots of veggies and very low fat and that's working for me. The article mentioned that one doesn't necessarily result in more long-term weight loss than the other but that the high-protein one was harder for people to stick to for long periods of time. I can see how that could be true, I've also learned that everyone has to do something that works for them and not every "program" works for every "body."

I was a tad bit brain-dead last night and didn't post much. Yesterday, I passed a bit of a "test" if you will. Our office is a little like that episode of Seinfeld about the birthday parties. We'll use any excuse around to have a cake in the meeting room. Yesterday was a colleagues' birthday and (of course) we had to have a cake. I was so good, I didn't even have a little sliver. My boss didn't have one either, we're both watching our intake. I was really pleased with myself. One of my co-workers (who rejoined WW a couple of weeks ago) looked over at me as she was munching on her cake and mumbled something about having to "cut back at dinner tonight" to make up for having the cake. It was as if she thought that I was "judging" her, I wasn't...I just enjoy my dinner too much to give up part of it for the emptiest of empty calories! It was a small personal victory but all the same, I was happy with myself. I stayed and visited with folks but I sipped my water and didn't feel like I was "hard done by" or deprived.

I have noticed a difference in the way my clothes are fitting me over the past couple of days. It's been very cold here recently and I've been wearing a heavy sweater every day. I work in a really old building and it gets very cold there. I've been wearing the same few sweaters and was getting kind of bored of them. I have mostly been wearing 5X sweaters lately. Yesterday, when I was getting dressed for work, I dug into the back of my closet to find an alternative. I dug out a sweater that I hadn't worn since last winter, slipped it on and it fit. It was a 4X, buttoned up the front and the last time I tried it on, it gaped in the front. Yesterday, I was able to button it easily and wear it over a turtleneck sweater (with room to spare)!! The sweater I'm wearing today has a little extra room now too! It feels very nice!!

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Yikes, what a crazy Tuesday. We've been doing some work on our house and we haven't stopped (except to have dinner) all evening. I'm usually in bed by now it's slightly past my bedtime...anyway, stayed on course all day today (that's day 16!!) and did a lot of exercise...mostly manual labour type stuff around the house. I can't get over how much stronger and energetic I'm feeling lately...not at the moment necessary :-) but in general. Sorry for the short post but I have to hit the sack...g'night all!!

Monday, January 20, 2003

I decided to start using Monday's as my "measuring day." The past two weeks I had measured myself on Thursdays but I wanted to start getting into doing it at the beginning of the week. Tonight when I got my tape out, I discovered that I've lost another 1.5" (yay me!!). I also hopped back on the scales. As I mentioned before, when I started this program on January 6, I went out and bought a new hydraulic scale. One that went up to 350 lbs. I was pretty upset because the needle went past the 350 and I couldn't figure out how much I actually weighed.

Things around the house have been really nutty with my father in law's surgery so I still haven't made it to the doctors for a weigh-in. Tonight I noticed that the needle has moved, it's almost the 350 mark (instead of boinging over to the far left as far as it would go). I moved the little marker on the scale face to where it measured. I think that in another couple of weeks I'll be this side of 350. I'm getting really excited about that. My hubby's lost about 10 lbs and I've lost a total 8 inches so I know that what we're doing is working, for us anyway.

I've been 15 days on plan and if I keep up what I've been doing, I feel that I'll be able to meet my goal of 155 by June 6, 2004. I can't say enough about Fitday. It's such a fabulous tool, I don't know what I'd do without it. Measuring and recording everything is going such a long way toward retraining my brain about nutrition and portion size. Thinking about everything, planning and's helped me to last over 2 weeks on this and I don't see that I'll be giving up on it.

I had a great ride on my bike tonight and feel like I'm going to sleep really well tonight. I know that I have PMS looming on the horizon but I'm not going to let it hinder this, not this month!

Sunday, January 19, 2003

We had to take a quick run out of town today and I was worrying a bit. We left just before lunch and I knew that we wouldn't be back until much before dinner. I started to get worried about where we'd be eating and, of course, what we'd be eating. We ended up stopping at Wendy's for salad's. We each had a salad and shared a Diet Coke. It was the first real DC I'd had in a couple of weeks and it tasted good. The salad was nice too. It's not something that I'd have a lot of (when I got home and figured out the nutritionals it was a little "fattier" than I would have liked it to be) but it was a nice treat.

We had chicken, veggies and brown rice for dinner tonight. It was really delicious. I didn't do the bike today but I did a lot of walking today and felt really good doing it. I find that I'm not getting pooped out as quickly as I used to. I'm already starting to feel stronger. Yay me!!

Well, it's totally 2 weeks done and under my (hopefully shrinking) belt. 2 weeks, I almost can't believe it!! Yay me again!!!

Saturday, January 18, 2003

Pardon my language but I can't even fucking believe it. I should have known better, you think I would have learned by now but oh no…I'm a loser. I had this huge post written, hit the publish button and the thing disappeared into the ether. Never to be seen again…damn!

I'm not sure what's up with blogger tonight but it's sucking ass big time…anyway, I'm writing this in an external editor and won't try to compose in blogger again.

I had a long phone conversation with my mother this afternoon. I'd been sort dropping hints to her that we were "watching what we were eating" (I didn't want to get into it with her for some reason). This afternoon she asked if we were still "watching" and I told her what we had been doing exactly. She sounded relieved (in a motherly sort of way) but knew better then to say too much (finally!!!). She and my dad have become health and fitness…well, "fanatics" is a bit harsh but, let's just say that they have both had more dealings with the health care system over the past couple of years than either one of them would have liked.

Aaahh…I just checked back and blogger is totally down at the mo'….that explains a lot. Anyway, I sort of got into the nitty gritty with her of what we were doing, the food, fitday, the blogs, the forum, the exercise. I could tell that she was really interested in what I was saying. Probably because it sounded sensible and it wasn't a fad thing (in a past life, she used to like clipping out fad diets from magazines and sending them to me - she quit doing that about 10 years ago when I flat out told her that I didn't do "fads").

We got to talking about her next door neighbour, I'll call her "Roxanne." Roxanne is about 8 years older than me; she has 2 daughters (15 & 8) and a moron for a husband. She's also about 150 pounds overweight. Roxanne also like fads…well, she likes to start them, she falls off of them (usually before the end of the first week) and then she gets completely discouraged and binges. She's tried everything, grapefruit, cabbage soup, diet pills, Subway. If the Ontario government hadn't stopped paying for it, I'm pretty sure she'd be trying to get WLS right now. Anyway, she claims that nothing works for her. I know what doesn't work for her; at least this is what it looks like from my point of view, looking in….she has NO support network. Her husband and kids will bring junk and crap into the house and eat it in front of her. They are very much a fast-food family. Her house is completely unhealthy and she can't get healthy in that environment. I know what I'm talking about because my house was on the unhealthy side (not like hers but I know that it's easier to slide into what she's dealing with when you have kids) before we started to "clean up our act" last fall.

I think that her motivation is wrong too. I know this because I used to have her motivation, to get thin. I don't want to be thin anymore, and I think that is what is keeping me in line. I want to be healthy, fit and strong. I don't want to get to my parents' ages (mum's 59, dad's 60) and be riddled with health problems. I want to be one of those 80 year old ladies in pink track suits that I see power walking down my street at 6:30 a.m. Sure part of me is way into the new clothes and the looking better but the biggest part of me wants to be stronger, more flexible…healthier. Not that I'm not healthy now. Despite my weight, I'm a very healthy person. My doctor tells me that every time I see her. I think that it surprises her too. I was blessed with good genes and I've been lucky. I have had better jobs and have enjoyed a much better standard of living than my parents had at my age. I don't want some excess fat to undo the good that I've got going for me. Roxanne will figure this out eventually. Maybe when she does she'll be able to get her dick-husband and kids to go along with her, I hope so, she's a really nice lady and I know that she's not very happy at the moment.

Anyway, I think that I'll go beat on some of my fat right now…we're going to pop a DVD in the player and watch a movie and I'm going to get my nightly ride in while I'm doing that. Yikes…I've been rambling all over the place. Sorry about that… I'm not sure when I'll post this because blogger looks like it's down for the count. I'm writing it on Saturday at 7:17 p.m….

Friday, January 17, 2003

I find it a little hard to believe that it is the weekend again already. I feel so much stronger this Friday night than I did last Friday night. Last week, I had a little meltdown after work because I was afraid that I would fall off the wagon (so to speak) over the weekend. My work routine really helps me stay on course. I was able to get through the entire weekend last week and I know that I can do it again this weekend.

The key for me to keep busy. I don't have a lot of stuff planned for the weekend but I hope to get some things around the house sorted out. We're getting our groceries tomorrow after hubby gets home from work. This afternoon I made out my grocery list and I can't get over how little we're spending since we started eating better. We're not only buying less food (duh! cuz we're eating less) but we're eating out less and the food we're chosing isn't as expensive. It's incredible how quickly packaged/processed stuff can add up. Eating real food is so much better on the wallet (and the waistline!). Baking muffins on the weekends for my weekday breakfast is working out too. This weekend I'm going to make some oatmeal applesauce muffins. They're very moist and yummy and low fat.

Even though it's early and it's Friday night, I need to hit the hay soon. Something has been causing my allergies to go nutty today and it's dragging me down a little. I haven't take any anti-histamine yet (I ordinarily only have to take it in the summer), hopefully I won't have to. I never thought that I could have allergies in January, weird indeed. I'm sure it's nothing that a little sleep can't cure.

night-y night!

Thursday, January 16, 2003

I was so out of sorts yesterday that I couldn't even post properly.

I posted 9 days yesterday when it had actually been 10 already, so that's 11 days today! Done, behind me...completed and on program. I still haven't been able to weigh myself but, according to the measuring tape I have lost a total of 6.5 inches since I started (3 inches from my bust, 2 from my waist and 1.5 from my hips). I feel terrific and really pleased with myself. This is the longest I have ever gone on something like this without one slip. I'm eating so much better and I'm excerising regularly (and not hating any of it!).

The only reason that I've done this well so far is because of everyone else...all the other blogs I'm reading, the weigh-better forum. Everyone's been so wonderful and supportive. I'm so happy and thankful for finding you all!! Thanks everybody!!

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

It's sort of late, for me, on a school night and all. I had a long, difficult day but I managed to stay completely on plan today. I'm really pleased with myself, 9 days, it feels great. I'll post more tomorrow, I need some sleep now. 'night all!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

...and other one bites the dust! (day that is, woohoo!!).

I did a lot more walking today than I ordinarily do and it felt really good. It was extraordinarily cold here today, but bright and sunny so it made walking quite enjoyable. It was a little slippery in spots so I had to be careful not to wipe out (I'm quite good at that). I'm still sticking to my plan / program and I now have 8 days behind me. I also rode my bike again tonight, I'm really liking the routine I'm getting into with it. I either ride it as soon as I get home or about 30 minutes after dinner.

I found an old tape of "sweatin' to the oldies" the other day in a box. I used to do it all the time and I really enjoyed it. I will try to get that into my routine a couple of mornings a week (before work). If memory serves, it takes around 40 minutes to do it. I'd like to get into something like that in the morning to "jump start" my day. I'll see what tomorrow brings, hump day might be a good time to try it again!

Monday, January 13, 2003

Wow, one more day under my belt. I'm writing this a little earlier than I have been the past few days. We ate our dinner at the same time that we usually do but I rode the bike before dinner this time so we're all done for the evening. When I say "all done" I mean that the kitchen is all cleaned up and we're upstairs for the evening. We had a clean-out-the-fridge night tonight for dinner and it was nice. We'd had a little bit of leftovers from the past few nights so we each had something different. I had a delicious baby spinach salad with some Renee's Roasted Red Pepper and Garlic Dressing on it. It's so flavourful. It only has 13 calories per tablespoon and I didn't need more than 1 tablespoon for 2 cups of baby spinach. The combination of the beautiful spinach with the yummy dressing was awesome. I also had a little left over stir fry with rice after the salad.

In the past week (for those of you who care about such things, this is the end of day 8) I've been sleeping better. I've also felt a little perkier and less achey at the end of the day. Prior to restarting the exercise, I found that my knees were a little stiff in the mornings and that my ankles would sometimes be swollen by the end of the day. The swelling is completely gone and my knees haven't been bothering me at all. What I'm most looking forward to in all of this is increasing my flexibility, getting it back to where it used to be. Little by little, I see that it's going to come. I mean, I'm a long long way from my target / goal but I can see, way far off in the distance, a little light at the end of this tunnel.

Hope and determination are truly amazing things!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

One week, 7 days, 168 hours (but hey, who's counting?)!! I've survived my first week and didn't go off plan once. I feel so much better for it too. I like the way my body is reacting to the change in the food I've been giving it and to the increased activity. The first few days it was in a bit of shock I think.

I did some baking today, made some banana bran muffins. I sat down and figured out what the nutritional values were for them and they're really pretty good, low in fat, high in fibre and fruit. I'll be taking one to work with me for breakfast. I don't eat a lot of breakfast through the week so a muffin with my coffee is a good way for me to start my day.

Anyway, I know that there is no way that I could have made it through this week without everyone's fabulous support. My next "goal" is to get through week 2. I'm just taking this whole thing, one day at a time.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

Well today wasn't as bad I was thinking it would be. We both slept in this morning (it felt sooo nice) and I just had coffee for breakfast. We had nice salads for lunch and then my hubby (he's feeling better today, yay!), made us a delicious stir fry for supper, chicken and brocolli with rice.

I got a fair bit of exercise too today, outside moving some snow around. You really use a completely different set of muscles for that than you do for most other the lungs full of fresh, clean air are wonderful.

It's almost been an entire week for me now. I know that mustn't seem like much to those of you who have months and months of this stuff under your belts but I'm feeling rather proud of myself right now!

Friday, January 10, 2003

I got through my fifth day without slipping up. Funny thing was though, on the way home from work tonight, I started to slip into that "weekend food mentality" of wondering where we should go to eat, should we stop off for a treat, etc. I actually caught myself thinking this and shoved it out of my head. I'm so happy with myself for getting through this work-week. I hope that I'll do as well this weekend. I'm a little nervous about the weekend, the lack of routine has me feeling a little uneasy about keeping at it.

I did ride my bike tonight and felt really good after I was finished. I think that this weekend, whenever I get the urge to nibble on something unhealthy (or healthy but just too much), I'll hop back on the bike and ride for a mile or so.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Well, day four is safely under my belt and I am completely sticking with my program so far. I'm very pleased with myself.

My hubby was struck by that terrible flu bug that is going around and he's been in bed (or in the loo) all day today. I made him some chicken broth and dry toast for dinner (he'd not eaten anything at all in over 24 hours) and he's keeping it down. He's actually snoozing right now, this is good because he was up all of last night (I didn't find this out until 5:30 this morning). I really feel for him, it's a terrible bug. From what I've heard about it though, the worst is behind him and he should be feeling better tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him.

Because we weren't eating together, I was sort of at a loss as to what I would have for dinner. My hubby is a chef so he does the cooking (generally) and I do the clean up. It's a fair deal to me, I don't mind doing dishes. It was getting late when I was getting his dinner together (we try not to each much past 6 p.m. because we're in bed by 9 p.m.) and wasn't sure what I could make for just myself that wouldn't be "bad." Anyway, I found a pizza in the back of the freezer and, after reading the nutritional panel, realized that it was a pretty good dinner for me. I was able to have 3 small slices for dinner and stick to my program. The pizza was PC Rising Crust, all dressed. They usually have a lot of veggies on them and are very tasty. I feel satisfied and it feels sort of like a cheat (because it was pizza afterall).

I didn't ride my bike this evening but I've been up and down the stairs about a million times tonight, took out the garbage and recycling and did a bit of shovelling. I also got my tape measure out tonight so at least I have some numbers to start with (if not from my scale this week anyway).

I've been working on some goals for myself this week, just jotting stuff down as things come to me. Tomorrow, weather permitting, I want to do some walking on my lunch hour. I'm going to alternate the walking with the bike and see how that goes.

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

My hubby made us an incredible dinner tonight, stir fried beef with peppers, broccoli and ginger with oyster mushroom rice. There was a trace amount of oil in it and a lot of garlic and ginger, it was so yummy.

After dinner, I hopped on my bike again and was flicking around the channels on the television. We have digital cable and are able to get the west coast channels. Oprah was on at 7 p.m. on one of the Vancouver channels. I don't ordinarily watch Oprah, I don't particularly like her anymore. I find that she's a little too preachy but this episode caught my attention because she was interviewing women who all weighed over 300 pounds about what it was like to be obese.

Some of the things that the women talked about, I could completely identify with (the difficulty finding clothes, seatbelts in cars being tight, not being as flexible as you used to be). Other things, I didn't quite connect with. They all claimed to hate themselves and seemed to have very low self-esteem ( a common thread in the interviews was showing these women driving from one drive-through fast-food restaurant to another, completely gourging themselves). I don't have that problem. I don't hate myself, I know that I'm a good person, that I'm smart and capable. I have a great job and I'm in a terrific relationship with a wonderful man.

Physically though, I know that I'm not as healthy as I should be. I want to lose weight and have a stronger, more flexible body. I want to be able to purchase clothes in normal stores and not have to pay an arm and a leg for them. I want us to both get more fit so that we can have as long as life together as is humanly possible because I don't personally believe that there's anything waiting for us when it's all over. We got this big because we ate too much and didn't exercise enough. I'm working on correcting that. This is the end of my third day and so far, I've completely stuck to it. I've not gone one inch off what I set out to do. I've been eating smaller portions of food, keeping my fat intake low and I'm exercising, everyday. Best part of it is that I don't feel hard-done-by right now.

Eventually, I know that I will see visual results. In the meantime I'm enjoying how good it feels to be doing good things for myself and being completely selfish about it. I know that I never could have started this whole thing if I hadn't stumbled across other "loser" blogs. I saw how other ordinary women were able to get the weight off, get fit and healthy without surgery or without spending a fortune on diet clinics (that don't really work anyway, truth be told). These women spill their guts and inspire me. So here I sit, spilling mine and hoping that in a year or so, I'll be able to inspire someone too.

I want to be a loser too, a big loser, the hugest loser you've ever seen!
As I type this, I'm enjoying my lunch. Well, I'm actually on dessert, clementine oranges. Yum! I'm always happy to see them in stores as the holidays approach and I'm disappointed to see them go in the New Year.

I've actually been taking time out for lunch this week, eating slowly and enjoying every bite. I've also decided to cut Diet Coke out of my diet. My hubby is a DC addict and I've fallen into a trap of having one with dinner each night. The past few nights, I've cut out the DC and noticed that I'm sleeping better. This could also be because I'm riding the bike in the evenings as well but I think that the caffeine has a large part in it.

Last night when we went out for dinner, I ordered water (they didn't have diet sprite or diet ginger ale) and he ordered soda water and lime. He noticed that he slept a lot better last night too so there must be a lot of caffeine in the DC. I'm down to just one coffee a day, in the morning, black. I've always taken my coffee black, it's the only way I like it.

Because we got home so late last night, I did get the measuring done. I'll definitely do that tonight though. Also, I just found out that some of my colleagues have started at weight watchers and another is re-joining her gym so it seems that we're all trying to get healthier. One thing we all agreed on today was to put the "goodies" in the kitchen so that we're not all walking past them all day.

Temptation is easier to avoid if it's not rubbed directly in your face several times a day.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

We just got in from picking up groceries and I must say that I'm pretty impressed with our choices in the store. I know that we were both being a lot more thoughtful about what we were putting in the buggy and I'm learning a lot by reading the nutritional information more carefully. Using FitDay the past couple of days has really helped too. Knowing that I'm going to have to break everything down and know what is in everything is really causing me to stop and think before I put anything into my mouth.

We had my father-in-law with us and he wanted to stop for dinner (here we go again!) so we did. We ended up at swiss chalet and I'm happy to report that my meal was very delicious (I felt very satisfied and full at the end of it) and very low in fat and calories. That's one of the good things about chicken places isn't it? I'm feeling so much better today than I was yesterday, a lot more positive and energized. I'm going to head down to ride the bike for a bit while I watch That 70's Show at 8 p.m.

I know that I'm only at the end of day two, but for the first time, in a long time, I feel like I can do this. I know that this is going to take me a long time and that it's not going to be easy...I just never thought being in control could feel this good.
I had a bit of a hard time falling asleep last night. I was more upset about the scale thing than I really care to admit to myself and I talked to my hubby about it last night before we fell asleep. We both are trying to lose some weight and get healthier this year and we talked about the triggers that have caused us to overeat during the past couple of years and, subsequently, pack on the weight that we have both gained since we met. Eventually I did fall asleep and I slept like the dead. It was almost impossible for me to get up this morning but I did.

As I said I would, I rode the bike for 2.25 miles last night. I set it to a higher resistance than I ordinarily do and felt better for having done it after. I plan to do the same thing again tonight. I've also made a decision about the scale / numbers thing. I have decided to keep the scale for a while and to dig out my measuring tape. That I know, will work. I will measure myself and keep track of those numbers until I can get the scale thing to work for me. This came to me while I was in the shower this morning, had it come to me last night I think that I would have a less upsetting evening. Oh well, it's hard to be logical when you're upset, isn't it?

Today I've been doing well so far. Keeping to my plan and recording everything that I'm eating. I've even avoided the temptations of the reception desk in our office. My desk is near the reception area and every time I walk by the desk, there is a big candy dish full of treats staring me in the face. I think that folks have just brought in their left over Christmas candy because there is a mixture of hard candy, caramels and hershey's kisses. This morning, someone added a tin of cookies to the collection but I'm not giving in to any impulse eating. Not this year, no way.

Monday, January 06, 2003

Well, first day into this new program deal and I'm feeling a little discouraged before I get started. After work, we had some errands to do, the errands were supposed to include picking up some groceries for dinner but my hubby was hinting around about going out for a bite so we did. We went to this chinese buffet place that we go to fairly often and I was very careful about my selections. I felt like I may have over done it a bit but when I got home and figured out what I ate, it wasn't as bad as I had thought (although I had too many calories from fat today, at least more than I had wanted to, overall it wasn't disgusting).

Anyway, I had been wanting a scale, this particular heavy duty scale because I knew that the ones that only go up to 300 lbs were not going to do it for me. On the way to dinner, we stopped off at this medical supply place and picked one up. I'd researched them a fair bit and knew what I wanted, exactly.

The last time I had been weighed was years ago and I was around 315 lbs then. I know that I have gained weight since then but figured that I'd be under 350 lbs. I get this new fancy scale home, set it up and hop on...I'm over the 350 lbs mark on the scale. I don't know how much over, just that it's over. I'm of two minds at the moment, one is to take the thing back, go to my doctor's and have her weigh me and then buy it again when I've dropped below 350. The other option (the one I'm more inclined to go with) is to still get weighed by the doctor but to hang on to the scale, try it again in a couple of weeks and see what happens. It's a great scale and it wasn't cheap and I'm definitely making plans to drop below 350 soon. I'm guessing that I might be as much as 15 or 20 lbs over that. I'm just not sure anymore.

As I'm sure you can appreciate, it was very discouraging for me not to have a number. I'm not sure why exactly, I guess I needed the measurement. The numbers haven't meant much to me for years (about the last 15 I'd say) but now I feel strongly that I need to know, exactly where I stand and how far I have to go. Ideally, I'd like to get to 155 lbs. I'm 5' 9" and have a large frame so that would be a good weight for me. Sort of the high-end of what would be acceptable in BMI standards.

No worries though, I'm not going to go down to the kitchen and eat leftover christmas cookies. I think I'll go down to my living room, throw in my tape of today's Coronation Street episode and hop on my exercise bike for half an hour.
My day is sailing by, quickly. So far so good...the eating thing is also going very well today so far. I was busy doing laundry and stuff this morning so I did not hit the bike but I plan to do so once I get home this afternoon. I'd like to do 30 minutes (at least) a day, at least 5 days a week plus some walking thrown in for good measure.

I've been entereing what I've been eating at FitDay, that's very cool. It's helping me to stop and think about what I'm eating and what I'm planning to eat, not that I'm obsession about it or anything but it seems like a good way for me to keep track of what I'm doing, so far.
So today is the first proper day of our new eating plan. I say proper because we have been half-assed working on it since New Year's but due to the fact that we were both off of work until today, January 6 began our official "start."

Unfortunately, we do not have a scale in the house that works properly. I had looked around for one at the mall during the weekend after Christmas but I wasn't able to pick one up. This past weekend I had intended to get one but bad weather (ie a snow storm) kept us at home. Hopefully I'll be able to get one tonight after work and my partner and I will be able to find out what we're dealing with.

Once we have our weigh-in, I'll be posting a progress chart and our exercise plan. I have decided to make a food log for myself but I'm not sure if I'll bore everyone silly by posting that. I stumbled across FitDay and it seems like it'll be a very useful tool for me. Wish me luck folks, here I go!!

Friday, January 03, 2003

This blog will be my journal as I begin a new regime of fitness and more healthy eating. I will be posting more specific details of what my goals are and how I plan to achieve them, hopefully I'll get that stuff up this weekend. Stay tuned.