Friday, December 31, 2004

day 60 - Happy New Year

When I "restarted" things 60 days ago, I didn't actually realize that it was 60 days exactly from then until New Year's Eve. I wish I could say that I had hit some special fitness goal or that I had lost 15 pounds in that time. I did not. Much like the rest of 2004, I merely maintained. By maintain, of course, I mean, I re-lost and re-gained the same 5 to 7 pounds over and over again, just as I had all year.

When I looked back at the goals I set for myself in 2004, I see that I came up a little short.

1. I did not lose another 70 pounds this year (well, actually I probably did but I kept gaining it back too so it didn't really count).

2. Exercise at least 5 times a week -- this one I pretty much stuck to so that's not too bad I realize. Had I not done this, I know that I would have regained every single last ounce I lost in 2003.

3. Get our finances in order -- we're not out of debt by any stretch of the imagination but we're in a little better shape than we were 12 months ago. We are continuing on the plan we began in 2004 throughout 2005 and we have a meeting in the works with our bank manager to help move things even further along.

4. Get rid of clutter -- again, we worked very hard on this. Partly because the LOG was moving in and we had to give up a whole room, we did a lot of throwing out and donating to goodwill this year. Of course, there is still more to do but it all gets easier every time we tackle it.

Overall, considering the stress I went through at work (and trust me, it was incredibly stressful going through an organizational transition. I wasn't really for much of the year if I would have a job when all the dust settled), everything we had going on at home (with LOG moving in) and some other family stuff, 2004 could have been much worse. I am so relieved that I have not regained all of my 2003 loss (I even noticed today that I've re-lost most about 4 pounds of my holiday gain already so I'm guessing most of it was cycle related water weight).

As always, I'm going to try to paint a friendly, happy, fresh face on 2005 and make it mine. I'll post my 2005 goals tomorrow. In the meantime, I wish you a very very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!!

Thursday, December 30, 2004

day 59 - running around

I am totally pooped. We were on the run from about 7:30 a.m. I took my hunny to work but he didn't have to work (news to us) so we set off to do errands together. I never thought for the life of me that it would take us most of the day but it did and they are done. We got groceries, did some computer parts shopping, fixed my mum's computer, got more groceries at a different store, did banking, cashed in winning lotto tickets, picked up the LOG's prescriptions and in the middle of all of that, had lunch along the way.

LOG is feeling crappy. He has the same thing that we had earlier in the week but it's hitting him way harder than it did us. I'm not really surprised that it's beating him up so badly. It's a very nasty bug and it was so hard on us, I can't imagine how terrible he must be feeling, being almost 80 and all. He's been in bed all day (and most of yesterday) but is feeling better tonight (thank goodness!!).

While we were out, I picked up a four DVD set (with resistance bands) for Winsor Pilates. It is called the "Power Sculpting with Resistance Kit." I've never done pilates before but have heard good things about this set. I thought that in addition to the cardio and weights that I do in the mornings, it might be nice to have something I can do a few evenings a week, upstairs in my room. My hunny said he'd try it too so we'll see. Hopefully it'll be easy for me to figure out. I still haven't heard yet if we're going to be able to purchase discounted gym memberships at Good Life yet (through work) so I thought that this might be something cool/different to try in the meantime.

Tomorrow I hope to post some kind of year-end wrap-up. I cannot seriously believe that it's almost 2005!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

day 58 - clearing the way

I feel much better today. I can still feel a little tenderness where it used to hurt but other than that, I feel almost normal.

This morning after I took my hunny to work, I shoveled the driveway. Because we've both felt like crap for a few days, the snow had been piling up in the drive. It took me 45 minutes (because it was really heavy and wet) but it is all cleared up now. Given the irregularity of my workouts recently, I was sure that the shoveling would totally kick my ass but it's cleared my head and I feel better for it. To use my muscles and get lots of fresh air seems to have done me a world of good.

After shoveling, I came in and had a very healthy breakfast. Today is shaping up to be a great day so far. I am hoping that the rest of the holiday/break will be much the same.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

day 57 - much a do about nothing

Shortly after I posted last night, I looked out the window to see the police cars driving away. No lights flashing, no "perp walk" to witness. They just quietly drove off, into the night. I was happy to see that and figured that no one was injured. It was very weird all the same and it made the local paper today (I've posted it below).

Today I wasn't feeling that great. My hunny wasn't either. We both have something weird going on. Yesterday, we went out for a few groceries and stopped for a quick bite to eat. I've been trying to figure out if we picked up something in the restaurant or from someone in a store. It feels like a stomach ache but it's muscular. It's sort of below my stomach but feels like the way your muscles do when you have a hard ab workout. We're both feeling the same kind of pain. When we stand up or sit down it's very sore. Once you get seated, it's not too bad. I'm not sure what it is but ibuprofen seems to help. I don't want to take too much of that though. Yesterday, I thought I was just having a very very bad period but today, seeing that my hunny is experiencing a similar type of pain, I know now that it wasn't that. I don't think it's food poisoning because neither of us are nauseous or anything. Whatever it is, hopefully it'll clear up by tomorrow. It's really been a drag so far this holiday, feeling so crappy. At least I was able to drag my ass around this morning and get most of the laundry done and a banana bread baked for the LOG.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Here's the article about the situation up the street last night:

Police use Taser on man who claimed he left bomb at hotel
By Ian Elliot
Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Local News - A man with a history of mental illness led Kingston Police around the city last night before he was taken down and arrested outside police headquarters three hours after he first alarmed authorities with a call saying he was armed and suicidal.

The drama started when a 34-year-old man called police on his cellphone and claimed he was armed with a handgun and intended to kill himself and anyone who tried to stop him around 5:30 p.m.

He hinted he was at an address on Kingscourt Avenue. Uniformed units and the force?s emergency response unit surrounded a residence there.

After cordoning off the area, they found the man wasn't there.

Calls continued throughout the evening and the man made various claims that he possessed explosives and had left bombs at various locations.

Staff-Sgt. Mike Attwood, who said he has had extensive dealings with the man over the years, convinced him to come downtown where police quickly staked out an area around police headquarters and were ready to arrest him.

"He agreed to come down to the police station and see me and we'd have a coffee and talk," said Attwood.

"In his last phone call, he claimed to be at the Holiday Inn and so we had officers all around the area."

The officers saw a man matching the suspect's description enter the Tim Hortons on Ontario Street and walk out with a coffee.

Instead of going to police headquarters, he started to walk back in the direction of the hotel and police moved in, subduing him with a Taser.

He was carrying a white plastic bag containing an extra pair of boots but possessed no explosives or other weapons.

After he was arrested, the man claimed that he had left a bomb in the pool area of the Holiday Inn. That area was cleared while uniformed officers swept the area and cut open a locker but no explosives were found.

The individual was questioned by police but was intoxicated and difficult to make sense of.

"He was very intoxicated and we've dealt with him before," Attwood said of the man.

"He?s mentally unstable with violent tendencies. Our dealings with him have been fairly consistent over the years."

No one was hurt during the arrest. He was not charged last night, but was taken to hospital for a psychiatric assessment after being taken into custody.

Monday, December 27, 2004

day 56 - neighbourhood excitement

Right now, as I type this, the police are across the street (and down a few houses), surrounding the home of one of our neighbours. We had a call about 20 minutes from a friend who heard that some guy on our street has himself barracaded in the house with a 9mm gun and some grenades. From our bathroom window we can see the police going from their cars to the house and back again but not much else. I really hope that no one is hurt tonight. Whatever is going on, it's kind of scary.

Christmas was nice and, fortunately, not that exciting. Actually it was a very nice day. We stayed up kind of late on Christmas eve. I got to feeling a little better (finally) so I did a little more baking (just one more batch of cookies) while we watched "Bad Santa" (which was bad but in a good way). I had a little bit of wrapping to finish up Christmas morning but that was okay, we didn't have to be at my mum's until later in the afternoon.

My brother and his girlfriend arrived mid-afternoon (from Ottawa) and we had a really nice visit with them and my parents. The meal was terrific and I really didn't pig out. We had eaten a light brunch at home, mid-morning so overall, the caloric consumption for the day wasn't terrible at all.

Yesterday was a good day too, foodwise. We went out of town to my aunt & uncle's for a Boxing Day Open House. There was tonnes of food (and mucho sweets) but basically, I ate very well. I piled up my plate with raw veggies and some smoked turkey and pickles. Again, I think I did pretty good.

Last week, when I was sick and in the throes of PMS, and the last week I worked, were a bit of a wash out. I didn't record my meals and, although I drank gallons of water, I really wasn't careful about anything. It would have been easy to do the same thing today. My period started and the cramps had me rolled up in a ball, with the heating pad (seriously, they are never THAT bad) all afternoon. I could have used that as an excuse to pig out but I didn't. I feel good about that.

This morning, I felt really brave (and a little scared) and stepped on the scale. Honestly, I expected to have gained 15 pounds, maybe more. I had gained but it was a 6 pound gain. I was relieved and vowed to do better this week. Today was a pretty good eating day. I won't say it was perfectly clean because I did have a couple of Christmas cookies after dinner tonight but it was much better than it had been last week. I know that I'll be able to re-lose that 6 pounds and get seriously back into things and I don't have to wait until January 1 to do it. I hit the grocery store this morning and picked up some seriously healthy snacks and stuff. I'm definitely back on the right track again. Thank goodness!!

Friday, December 24, 2004

day 53 - weather report

I just finished watching "Me Without You" (which I totally enjoyed -- I absolutely love Anna Friel). The snow is falling quite softly right now but the flakes are huge. Quite a change from yesterday. We woke up to snow yesterday. The snow was followed by freezing rain. The freezing rain turned to regular rain (which made everything an icy slush) and, by the end of the day, the precipitation had ended but we were experiencing 72 km/h winds. I could barely get the door open the wind was blowing that hard. The weather has been pretty freaky around here lately. The local paper said to not get your hopes for a white Christmas. Right now, looking out the window, it looks pretty darned white to me.

Yesterday afternoon I did a little more baking, some butter tart squares and some fudge bars (which I totally ruined). This morning, I awoke with good intentions of doing more baking. I also awoke with a pounding headache and achey joints. So far today, I haven't done any baking. I did do some wrapping though, in bed, this morning, while watching, "Anything Else." We sure get our money's worth as far as the cable goes when we're sick. Depending upon how I feel tonight, I may make a couple of quick batches of cookies, we'll see. Right now, I have (I think), just 2 more gifts to wrap and then at least one thing I started will be finished.

Being sick sucks. This has been dragging on for a week now and I'm really tired of it. The upside of it (and yes, I have managed to find one) is that my appetite is sort of shot. That almost never happens to me. If I'm not feeling any better tomorrow I plan to take huge amounts of cold medicines and ibuprofen and have a good day, regardless. We're planning to go to my mum & dad's. It'll be a lovely, peaceful day (or should be -- I can't imagine why it wouldn't be) and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.

For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. To those of you who don't, have an enjoyable weekend. I'll probably post again on Sunday.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

day 52 - baking away

Finally, I started my baking today. This morning I made up some Drop Sugar Cookies (taste like the cut out ones but without so much fuss) and a pan of chocolate chip squares. This afternoon I'll do a little more. Things feel pretty organized right now.

I'm feeling a little better today and was actually up quite early (I started baking at around 6 a.m.). I'm still blowing my nose and coughing a bit but I'm hopeful that it's on the way out.

Oh, for the record, I didn't lick the bowl or try any samples, for "quality control" this morning. One of the benefits of having the LOG around is that he's totally ready, willing and able to be my taste-tester!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

day 52 - humpidy-do-day

The windows are in. They look terrific. We haven't put our blinds back up yet though because the caulking has to set. Also, they haven't finished the trim on 3 windows. We were 1/2 expecting them to come back today but the weather's been crap so we haven't seen them.

Once they had finished the inside work yesterday, I was able to clean the whole downstairs. It desperately needed to be done and looks quite fabulous right now. I still haven't started my baking yet but I did get a lot of wrapping done. I think it's a little over 1/2 done. We didn't actually do a whole lot of shopping this year so it isn't taking me as long as it normally would to get wrapped up.

Tomorrow morning I'll start my baking. I just do it to give away but again, I'm not doing as many different things as I ordinarily do. I made a second batch of Taylore's chocolate pretzels, this time with the Hugs only (they melted better for me) the other night so I guess that's sort of baking. Baby steps right?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

day 51 - windows

So, the windows that we ordered two months ago are being installed on the first floor of our house as I type this. Actually, they are working directly below me right now, on our patio doors and it feels and sounds like the wall may collapse underneath me. I'm sure it won't but it feels like it may.

With the exception of two very small things that I should be able to pick up tomorrow, I've finished up my shopping. Of course, nothing is wrapped, the house is a mess because of the windows and I haven't even begun my baking yet but I still have 3.5 days left, right?

All of my best intentions about good eating and lots of exercise have been thrown out the window (oops, no pun intended, really!). I keep trying to focus on the good things I do instead of dwell on the bad but it's just easier to beat yourself up than it is to praise yourself. Why is that?

In any event, I'm just trying to focus on getting through the next 10 days without doing too much damage to myself. Keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll do the same for you, promise!!

Monday, December 20, 2004

day 50 - cold snap

It was so cold this morning that we blew two tires. It was sort of a combination of the cold (it was minus 26!), the tires coming to the end of their natural lives and aluminum rims. Fortunately, it happened just up the street from here. I hate to think what might have happened if it happened on the highway.

I'm feeling a bit better today. The very dry, bitter cold seems to have helped clear my head a smidgen. In a little while I plan to go out and finish up the last little bit of shopping I need to do for the holidays. It shouldn't take too long, hopefully.

What I didn't write about on the weekend was Friday. Oh my goodness, can you say "big time wash out"? After four days of grabbing food on the run, no breaks, packing, moving furniture and basically running around like headless chickens, Friday was practically blissful. Our whole team ended up working together in a big old meeting room, laptops covering a huge, antique board table. It was so refreshing to be able to get some work done after the chaotic week we'd all been through.

Actually accomplishing stuff was nice but boy howdy, you should have seen the food. Our bosses bought us lunch (pizza), a coworker brought back freshly made nachos and salsa from the Lone Star. Two boxes of hand made truffles were plunked in the middle of the table. Basically, it was a nightmare. I shouldn't say that because honestly, it was delicious. I very much enjoyed it. Now, I did drink my water and a few clementines but really, it was a junky day. I really should have definitely resisted, I know this and I didn't.

Unfortunately, because I was feeling lousy with my cold, I let that slip-up carry over into the weekend. I haven't tracked what I've eaten through Fitday in a few days now and I wouldn't want to, if I'm totally honest. At some point this week, I probably will but, at the moment, I don't want to make myself feel that bad.

On the upside, I have not any alcoholic beverages and have been drinking a lot (and I mean a lot) of water since I've been home. Thank goodness for small favours huh? Anyway, it's time to go bundle up and get out to the mall. I really really want to be finished with this shopping nonsense, today!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

day 48 - get off my chest

Right now, it feels like little gremlins are sitting on my chest and on my head. My head is really stuffed up and I cannot breathe properly. I'm also coughing, a lot. It's not fun.

All I have managed to accomplish today so far is one quick trip to the store and changing the beds. I only got this much done because I absolutely had to.

I have lots to report but not much energy to write so it'll have to wait a bit. Have a good weekend everyone, and stay healthy!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

day 46 - move day minus one

I only have a second, for a very quick post (sorry!!). We've moving everything (I do mean EVERYTHING) out of our offices tomorrow. Over the holidays, we're getting new paint, carpets and furniture. It's a huge job though, to get everything out before the carpenters and painters come in. Right now, almost everything is in boxes or crates. Our furniture is labeled, it's generally looking like semi-organized chaos.

One of the benefits of it is that I'm getting lots of upper body exercise, not to mention walking and climbing. Someone should open a gym that basically simulates what you do when moving!! It would be a terrific workout, I can assure you!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

day 45 - getting the hang of it

This morning, we had a meeting with our Executive Director. It was a large group meeting (about 40 of us) and it turned out to be an end-of-the-year get-together. They had hot cider and fresh baked home made treats (baked by a coworker). I sat there feeling all proud of myself for not having eaten anything.

Everytime I go to a party type event, something that it outside of my comfort level, somewhere full of tempting foods that are full of fat and/or sugar, I get so impressed with myself for not indulging. I was thinking about yesterday and how I didn't have the mashed potatoes and gravy or the nanaimo bars. It was definitely good of me to make healthy choices but this shouldn't surprise me, this is what I should be doing all_of_the_time.

Recently, whenever I'm in a restaurant or just generally around other people at meals, I've caught myself watching their plates. I read that if you pay attention to what thin folks eat, you'll figure out what you should be eating. Logically, I know what to eat, realistically, it's not always so easy. Over the summer months, it was a lot easier for me to give into my stress and eat large amounts of stuff that I shouldn't. It takes a long time to retrain your brain when it comes to food. It does me anyway. I remember back in January '03, it took me weeks of white knuckling things before food choices became habits. I'm working on getting to that point again. I want to eat like a thin person and, eventually, become one myself. Thinner than I am right now anyway, much thinner.

Oh, by the way, I heard something really interesting yesterday. I was in this workshop in the afternoon which dealt with conflict resolution. At one point someone brought up the notion of "fight or flight" when dealing with work conflicts. The facilitator mentioned something she'd heard recently, "stew and chew." She was talking about the link between the obesity epidemic and stress. She's absolutely right, instead of just fleeing a bad situation, we all (well some of us anyway) head for the fridge or the treat drawer or wherever and comfort ourselves with food. Interesting huh??

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

day 44 - choices

I spent today out of the office and out of my element. My workday meals are carefully planned out. Everything I eat during the day (usually) is stuff I bring from home. Today I was out at a professional development day and there was food everywhere. Fortunately, there were lots of healthy-ish foods to choose from.

The last time we had one of these things, the options were horrible for me. I could not find much that was low-fat. It was so nice to have a really lovely, big meal of veggies (some raw, some roasted), lovely baby spinach salad, cottage cheese, fruit salad. It made making decisions at the luncheon buffet very easy.

Other than that, there isn't much to report today. I had a really nice walk outside and my eating was great. Tomorrow I plan to get back into my regular morning, at home workout. I can tell that PMS is just around the corner and I want to get moving my butt a little more than I have been recently. I'll need all the help I can to squash any cycle-related cravings I know I'll be faced with. PMS and the week before Christmas, could this be more of a challenge??

Monday, December 13, 2004

day 43 - no dairy princess

This weekend, well last night really, I discovered that my body does not want me to indulge in too much dairy. I felt like hammered crap last night and most of this morning because of the stuff. In a regular day, I drink a serving of soy milk and eat two, fat free yogurts. I don't have any digestion problems with these things. The rest of the day I generally avoid cheese (save for a treat here and there which is usually a little goat cheese on my grilled portabellos - yum) and all other forms of the stuff. Yesterday though, we went out for brunch and I had a bit of cheese with my meal, in addition to the yogurt and milk. I also had cheese (really good stuff) with my dinner. My stomach was so upset last night, I felt terrible. At first I thought that maybe I had just eaten too much in a small period of time (no breakfast and then a biggish lunch and a regular sized dinner instead of smaller meals all spaced out). Right now, I'm pretty sure it was a combination of the two things. I'm pretty sure though, that if I had gone without the cheese, I'd not have hurt myself so badly. Yuck.

It's hard to imagine how much dairy I used to eat and had no problems with it. Maybe I did have problems though and just didn't put it together. At any rate, it'll be a good long while before I have any cheese again. I know that it's a good thing that my body cannot physically take too much cheese or too much chocolate (or too much of any one thing actually). It's really gross to think about how badly my body used to function when it had to process large quantities of things that were not good for me, on a regular basis. Yuck!

Because I felt so horrible this morning, I did not work out. I will try to get a walk in tonight if it's not raining. The week is not off to a stellar start but I am determined to not let it all fall to shit because of a slow beginning!!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

day 42 - hey hey, it's the weekend

So far this weekend, nothing I have done has really gone according to my plans. I can honestly blame it on the weather and on seasonal colds. Right now, as I look out my window, I can see a gorgeous winter-wonderland. The snow has stuck to every branch and power/phone/cable line in the neighbourhood. It looks pretty fake actually but that's just because of the freezing rain we received on Friday.

On Friday night, we had plans to go see my brother's band in a pub downtown. I was half-way hoping that they wouldn't come because the roads were horrible and they were going to be driving in from 2 hours north of here (where they were expecting a lot more snow than we were supposed to get). In the end, they didn't come in because of a very ill band member. I was relieved all the same. I would have worried myself sick about them being on the highway.

The weather was pretty yucky here too so we stayed home and had an early night. I can't tell you how good it felt to get to sleep early and then sleep late the next morning. Delicious!! I actually stayed in bed all morning yesterday, watching TV and reading.

In the afternoon, we pulled on our boots and ventured out into the holiday shopping madness. We aren't doing a lot of shopping but we're trying to be creative (read inexpensive) with what we are doing so it's taking a bit more time than it normally would. We picked up a couple of gifts and I'm down to needing only to find something for my mum and my 18 year old godson. I'm not too concerned though, I have the whole week before Christmas off and should have lots of time to get that done.

Given that this is supposed to be a fitness/weight-loss site, I suppose I should talk about how I'm doing this weekend. Overall, it could be worse. I missed breakfast yesterday (because I was busy being lazy) so we went out for lunch. It was a Chinese buffet. I didn't do too badly but I did give in and have a couple of fried wontons (yum!). We did a tonne of walking, in the snow, yesterday and I drank a lot of water so overall, it balanced out I think. I deliberately didn't bother stepping on the scale yesterday. My feeling right now is to give it a break for a couple of weeks and see how things are going in that direction after Christmas. Of course, in a couple of days, my curiosity may get the better of me and I'll hop on it anyway but for now, I'm staying away.

This morning, right now, it's very quiet in the house. I'm the only one who is up and I've been doing laundry and puttering around a bit. It's very peaceful and calm and I have to admit that it's very nice to not have the tv on. Maybe if I wish very hard, it'll stay off all day (yeah, right!). In any event, I hope you have a calm, peaceful, lazy Sunday because I sure hope to have one here!!

Friday, December 10, 2004

day 40 - clementines and ice

One of my favourite things about this particular time of the year, is the appearance of clementines in the stores. They are gorgeous, handy and yummy. I've been eating a lot of them just recently. They are handy because I can eat them on the go. I've been on the go a lot this week. My work schedule is all topsy turvy and I'm now working during the days I had booked off for next week. It's okay though, I'll be off that whole week before Christmas so I'm happy about that.

We've had another freezing rain storm over night last night. The world looks like a big skating rink right now. We're supposed to get hit with heavy snow soon, tonight I think. No fun. Fortunately, I think we're stocked up with groceries at home and I know that I have everything I need to get my holiday baking started. If we end up getting snowed in, I'll have lots of stuff to keep me busy.

My big challenge this weekend will be to not eat what I'm baking. Wish me luck folks!!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

day 39 - the party rages on

Another day, another holiday party. This is another work related shin-dig. It's being held in the same spot as one of the parties I went to last week so at least I know that the diet coke and water is free flowing. It's a very large group of folks and I find that it's much easier to avoid the food in a big crowd than it is when there are just a few of us around. Not sure why that is, it just is.

I know that I will do well at the party because I have to. I have to make up for the piece of chocolate truffle cake (it was small but still!) that I had at a gathering I attended at lunch. Yikes huh? Will it ever end?

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

day 37 - slip sliding away

Freezing rain is no fun at all. I can handle any kind of weather: extreme heat, bitter cold, 110% humidity, winds, rain, feet of snow. Freezing rain though, I hate. It makes me feel sick whenever the forecast calls for it. Hangover from the '98 Ice Storm I guess.

It's starting to warm up a bit here though and the freezing rain is supposed to end. The temperature is supposed to rise a fair bit actually. We'll see.

Overall, today was excellent. I had a really good workout this morning. It felt really good to have a proper workout. I knew that I wouldn't get outside for much of a walk today, not with everything covered in ice. Tomorrow, well, I'll see what happens. If it looks like it might clear up, I will try to get the walk in. I am really enjoying that. Getting outside and into the crisp air feels so much nicer than doing WATP (not that I don't love WATP).

Anyway, I'm off to bed soon (yes, I know it's early but I'm up at 4:45 a.m.!). If you have warm, ice-melting thoughts to spare, please send them our way!

Monday, December 06, 2004

day 36 - light headed

Yanno, I really should get my hair cut more often. I'm actually not quite as bad as I used to be. I now get it cut a couple of times a year and I used to go for up to 24 months without a trim. I had my hair cut today and I feel positively light-headed. My hair is very thick and heavy and it gets to a point sometimes, where it causes me neck pain. It had recently gotten to that point and this morning I said, enough is enough. I had the day off and a free couple of hours so I went over to Magicuts (yeah, magicuts, I get a good cut at this particular location for under $20!). It feels so good and I think it looks pretty good. It's a lot shorter than I have had it in a long time. It's still shoulder length but it's quite layered. When the hairdresser blew it dry, it was kind of straw like so she used some wax on it. I like what she did so I stopped off and bought some on the way home. We'll see if I can duplicate it tomorrow.

Overall, my long-weekend was very nice. I feel relaxed and rested. My hair looks good and I was down 2 pounds on my weigh-in. All in all, everything's hunky dorey. I even started some of my Christmas shopping and have all of the stuff I need (pretty much) to do the little bit of baking I will be doing (I give it away for gifts). I'm back to work tomorrow but I have Friday afternoon off so it's going to be a very very short week (yay!). The only down side in the whole thing is the fact that it's freezing rain here right now. It started snowing this afternoon when I was out running around and it's turned into the slippery stuff. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't last. Hopefully it's not happening wherever you're reading from. Stay safe guys!!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

day 34 - weighing in

For the first time all day, I have a couple of minutes to check in here. Today was quite busy for me. Again with the running around, housework, etc. Fun fun Saturday stuff. I wasn't so busy though, that I forgot to weigh-in this morning. I actually lost another 2 pounds this week. I'm really happy about this and hope to repeat it again next week!!

Friday, December 03, 2004

day 33 - happy friday

Was your Friday happy? Mine has been pretty good so far. I didn't have to work today and that was very nice. I got up at the normal time though, got my hunny off to work, did some laundry. It was very relaxing. The best part of today I spent with my mum. We went shopping. I've been shopping a lot lately and it's made me think about my whole fitness journey.

Last Saturday, I went shopping, ran errands. You know, the typical Saturday stuff. I did A LOT of errands. I was in and out of the car MANY MANY times. At the end of the day, I thought to myself, "hey, my feet and legs are not tired at all." A couple of years ago, I probably would have quit about half-way through my list because I would have been wiped out. Not on Saturday. On Saturday, I ran around and got stuff done, came home, had dinner and then went back out for the evening. I felt pretty good about how far I'd come and even though I've been struggling with the same ten pounds all year, my fitness level was obviously improved.

So, today, with mum, we were running around, in and out of the car, I felt okay but not as great Saturday. What's happening?? Why are my legs so tired?? It was the strangest thing. So we carried on shopping, I marveled at my feet and it hit me. I knew what was causing the problem. I hadn't suddenly been moved back in time to that old, less-fit version of me. I realized that wearing winter boots, trudging through the snow (for the first time this year - ugh) wore me out. It was a relief but it was kind of sad too. As much as I love to look at the snow, I really am not crazy about sliding through slushy ice and wet snow. This was a really early jump on the season for us. The past couple of years, it's not really hit us until at least January. I really think that it's going to be a long winter this year!

Thursday, December 02, 2004

day 32 - where did it go?

Just a really really quick note. The day is almost over and this is the first chance I've had to post. I have a love/hate relationship with days like this. I mean, I like when I'm busy and am basically having an okay day and it flies by. I do hate when the days pass so quickly that you can barely remember them. Life just moves too quickly sometime.

Anyway, just wanted to report that the past couple of days have gone quite okay foodwise. Exercise has been mostly walking but the weather has been a little better (and I've dug out my hat and mitts) so it's not as chilly as it was. I'm off for four days now so I should have some time to get some "extra" exercise in. Yay for long weekends!!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

day 31 - dark and dreary on the outside

What a miserable day today is. Perhaps it's because dub-ya is up here (in Nova Scotia today) and he's taken away our sunshine. Whatever the case, I'm wearing a new red top today and I'm feeling pretty good.

Work has been totally chaotic for weeks now. It's still busy but today I have had fewer meetings than normal so I'm actually (gasp!) at my desk and getting some things done. Concept huh?? Now, if only I could figure out a way to do this on a regular basis, we'd be cooking (with broth, not oil!).

In my continuing effort to use up all of my accumulated vacation days, I have booked Friday and Monday off. I've been debating whether or not I should actually take them or not. Right now, I'm thinking I should. I really don't want to take the first week of January off. I actually like being here that week because it's very quiet and I can get a lot done.

On the fitness front, my workouts have been hit and miss so far this week. Mostly I've been walking when I can. So far today, my eating is pretty good too. I'm feeling like I won't have a problem at this reception I'm going to this afternoon. Personally, I'd much rather save my calories for dinner instead of blowing them on finger food that I don't even really care for. If I keep telling myself that over and over again, I shouldn't be tempted!!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

day 30 - survival of the hours d'ourves

Strength. I had it to spare this afternoon, right now I feel like a bit of a wet dishrag but this afternoon, you couldn't touch me. It's silly because it's a little thing but it's the little things that seem to make the most difference in this journey.

This week and next week, there will be several different celebrations happening at work. Today was the first in the series. It was a going-away reception for someone in our office who is retiring. There was champagne, wine, fruit drink (no juice, nothing even low-calorie to drink), fancy (read fatty) finger foods and super gooey looking sweets. I didn't have one nibble, not one. The sole male in our midst kept trying to get me and one other person (who, like me, arrived with a bottle of water) to eat something. He was relentless, like it was a challenge or something. I dug my heels in though and avoided everything. I had a nice visit with some people I don't get to see very often and enjoyed myself without having to ingest goodness only knows how many calories.

I have to attend a similar function tomorrow. It's a bigger affair, more people, more food, more of a challenge. I'll do my best to repeat what I did today. Right now, I'm not too worried. I feel like absolute, hammered crap. I have had one of the busiest days today, that I've had in a long time and I'm absolutely, dead tired.

Monday, November 29, 2004

day 29 - feeling groovy

Well, maybe not groovy exactly but pretty darned good anyway. Things seem to be coming together again for me. I know, I know, it's about time. I needed a big kick in the ass and I gave it to myself a week ago. All year this year, I have lost and gained the same 10 pounds or so over and over again. I'm tired of it. This was not the year I had envisioned for myself. I lost almost 80 pounds in 2003 and really thought I could do the same in 2004. I do take some comfort in the fact that, except for that same 10 pounds I keep playing around with, I haven't gained it all back and then some. In any event, things feel like they are clicking again, in a way that they hadn't in a while.

So far, the week is going well. I ate well today, on plan all the way and I got some walking in. It's a good start to what I expect will be a great week. I hope you all had a good Monday too. Here's to a healthy week for everyone!!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

day 28 - weekend wrap-up

This weekend went very very well, if I do say so myself. We kept very busy, doing errands, housework, putting up some holiday decorations, etc. Our meal were really reasonable. Good and healthy. I'm pretty pleased about it actually. I can see a noticeable different in the size of my hunny's tummy tonight and he was really pleased when I complimented him on it. It's amazing how something like cutting out late-night snacking can make. I can't see a difference in myself this week but I sure was happy to see the scale moving in a downward direction this week, after so many weeks of it either going up or staying put.

I'm feeling really great, heading into a new week. I'm sure I won't see another five pound drop this week but whatever happens will be good. I'm definitely not going to mess up this week and undo the good stuff that I accomplished last week. It can only get better from here!

Saturday, November 27, 2004

day 27 - shocked

Just as I said I would, I weighed myself this morning. I didn't expect to really see a change at all. This week, I didn't exercise nearly as much as I had planned, while I didn't snack in the evenings, I did eat a little more during the day than I normally would and I know for certain that I did not drink as much water I should have. Add all of that to the fact that I had PMS all week and I really, I wasn't planning to seeing any change in the numbers this week at all.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I lost 5 pounds this week!! I'm sure that a large chunk of that is water related to my cycle but still, I'm pretty pleased. It was so nice to see the scale heading in the right direction, back toward that mysterious area known as "virgin fat." By the year's end, I'd love to safely be into virgin fat again. I still have about 5 weeks left in 2004 and I'm hopeful that, at the very least, I will be able to accomplish that!

Friday, November 26, 2004

day 26 - tgif

I want a nap. Actually, I need a nap. It's very late for me to be eating my lunch but I'm just now getting to it. I was up a bit in the night. My poor hunny woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine. He used to have them all of the time. This was the first one in about 3 years. He was sick as a dog last night, I felt so badly for him. Fortunately he woke up feeling much better this morning (headache was gone, but that beaten-up feeling remained) but we're both a little worse for wear.

I'm really looking forward to taking a break tomorrow. I've felt stuffed up and crampy and just generally yucky for a couple of days now. I got out for a nice walk yesterday and the cold air definitely helped clear my head a bit. I definitely a couple of nights of good, solid sleep, followed by naps in the afternoon. My batteries need to be recharged. I'm going to enjoy good, fresh, healthy meals, prepared at home this weekend. With any kind of luck, I'll also get my house cleaned up. It's a bit of a dump at the moment.

What I am most looking forward to is stepping onto the scale tomorrow morning. I don't think I've lost anything but I can never, ever tell when I'm just starting my period. My body just gets so messed up that everything feels off-kilter. If you have any good-weigh-in-vibes to spare, send 'em my way. I'll update tomorrow with my result *crossing fingers, eyes and toes*

Thursday, November 25, 2004

day 25 - balancing act

Today, as my sisters to the south struggle with turkey and all the goodies that come with it, I'm having a not-so-bad day today. I keep giving myself the same old pep talk every day and it's beginning to sink in again. Something is definitely clicking, I'm not feeling "hard done by" today and I haven't eaten any more than I normally do.

One thing that was hit and miss over the past couple of weeks was keeping fitday up to date. This week I've made a definite effort to keep track of what I'm eating, an honest accounting of every calorie. Logging my food is such a valuable exercise for me. It helps me make better choices and forces me to look at patterns in bad behaviors. Pie charts can't lie, can they?

Exercise-wise, it's not been as active a week as I would have liked but I really have been feeling under the weather. I know it's just stress from work combined with PMS that is lowering my immune system. Today feels like I may just win this battle I've been fighting with a head cold this week. This isn't an excuse, it's a fact. If I can keep my eating under control, the exercise will come back, full-force, in the next couple of days.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

day 24 - where'd the day go?

The nice thing about trying to get a month's worth of work done in 3 days is that time flies by, quickly. Right now, I'm about 2/3 of the way through the particular project that I'm working on. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, sort of, right now.

I can report that so far this week, my eating has really been good. There have been no cookies, no chocolate covered granola bars, no salty snacks. Looking back, I see that evening snacking did me in over the past little while. Eliminating that has made things easier to cope with. Also, the "more healthy food" thing seems to be keeping cravings to a minimum. Of course, the whole thing could be a case of "too busy to eat" as well.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

day 23 - breathing is good

Just 5 minutes ago I had to force myself to s.l.o.w....d.o.w.n Works has been frantic today. I'm on a bunch of deadlines for stuff I hate doing (finances, ugh!) and it's freaking me out. I was sitting at my desk, working away, gobbling down my food while I tried to hurry through a task, when I realized that I hadn't peed all morning. When I went into the bathroom and saw my face in the mirror, I thought, "enough is enough." I have huge black circles under my eyes today and I'm pale. I feel like I'm getting a cold. Can't imagine how that could happen...oh, wait!? Doesn't your immune system take a shit kicking when the stress is happening. I decided to take a break, slowly eat my yogurt and calm down. Funnily enough, typing right here often helps me do just that.

I felt so crummy this morning that I didn't workout. I'm not beating myself up about that though, I think that Monday-Wednesday-Friday will be fine this week. I'll take a little walk tonight and Thursday night, after dinner. It'll all be good. I'm still pissed at myself but the anger is helping to keep me motivated. Food choices were pretty good yesterday, today they have been good too. I'm working on it, trying to anyway. No chocolate has made it into my house yet this week. I know it's only Tuesday but still, that's something, right?

I think my break is over, I feel better now, like I can actually breathe again. Hope you're all having a good day and that you take a few moments for yourself today, to catch your breath and congratulate yourself for the good things you do instead of beating yourself up for the not-so-good.

Monday, November 22, 2004

day 22 - focused

I'm feeling better today. MUCH better. I stepped on the scale again this morning and it was much nicer to me today. I'll be honest here (because hey, this whole journal is about accountability), yesterday, the numbers told me that I had gained 14 pounds in 2 weeks. Yeah, a pound a day. Now does it make sense why I lost my appetite? why I was completely and utterly disgusted with myself.

This morning I hopped back on the scale and while it was still a lot higher than I would have liked, it was 8 pounds lower than yesterday. I'm thinking that Sunday was a weird anomaly and perhaps I only did gain 6 pounds in two weeks. I shouldn't say "only" because I'm still pretty disgusted with myself. Hopefully, clean eating and more exercise, combined with getting my period out of the way this week will sort me out again and get rid of that 6 pound gain.

I must say, I had a terrific, gentle workout this morning. I did a bunch of stretching that was totally relaxing and then did 4.52 miles on my recumbent interval program. My eating so far has been totally 100% on plan but, I am officially back on coffee. I'd given it up for about 10 months but I realized last week that it wasn't that I needed it as much as it was that I missed it (and decaf just wasn't the same).

At the moment, I'm still pissed at myself. The anger will help keep me motivated. I'm feeling strong but not cocky. I need to push myself and kick my own ass and keep it together. I cannot ever have a day like yesterday ever again. It was horrible and depressing and I hated every minute of it. Next time I feel like going on a binge/bender/whatever you want to call it, I'm going to remind myself of that horrible feeling and stop myself. I have to because I'm the only person who can!!

Sunday, November 21, 2004

day 21 - how much water can a body retain?

I'm not going to say much today. I feel pretty shitty actually. Finally, this morning, I stepped on the scale this morning. I was not at all happy with what I saw. I know that I'm bound to be retaining fluid due to my cycle but holy crap, how much water can I be holding onto?

Last week, admittedly, was not great. I did not exercise as much as I should/could have. I ate more food than my body needed (that's sooo obvious). Oh, did I mention that I was really low on my water intake last week? Yeah, it was definitely, "not great." Next week will be better. I won't tell you how much of an increase I saw on the scale this morning but it depressed me enough to make me (me!!?) lose my appetite and watch a documentary on Obesity and the Biggest Loser (both of which I had TiVo'd). I literally ate one meal today, dinner. I couldn't face any food, except for a coffee this morning, after seeing the number on the scale. I know that not eating is bad but I just couldn't face food.

I'm sickened with myself and need to get my shit together starting right now. No more excuses, no more "I'm stressed," no more bullshit. Starting right now, I'm back on track, 100%.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

day 20 - reporting in

Boy, the week was, literally, a blur. Yesterday, I had the day booked off and my hunny had an unforeseen day off so we took off, south of the border, for a road trip. We didn't go further than an hour away from home but it was fun, one of the benefits of living in a border town I suppose.

We did some shopping, had lunch and saw the Sponge Bob movie. Unfortunately, popcorn was eaten, too much of it. Some chocolate too (mmm, salt and chocolate...can you spell P.M.S.? - maybe?).

Today has been kind of busy. I'm just stealing a few moments in front the machine. Mine is in pieces right now, it's being rebuilt and a new sound card is being installed. The original installation of SP2 that we put in messed up and finally, we're fixing it. Unfortunately it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would.

As far as my weigh-in goes, I was out the door so early this morning to get groceries (like at 7:30 a.m.) that I totally forgot to weigh-in until after I'd eaten my lunch. I'll have to check it tomorrow though, I promise.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

day 18 - on the fly, again

Again, today, I didn't get a break for lunch. Don't get me wrong though, there is no one telling me that I can't stop, I just have so much stuff piled up on my desk that I feel as if I have to keep going.

Right now, I'm posting as I wait for my class to start. I thought I was running late (and I literally RAN across campus to get here) but I must have moved quicker than I thought because I was five whole minutes early. Found time is lovely, isn't it?

The pace this week has been making me crazy. It's been a challenge to stay on track and I will admit that I have slipped up a couple of times at work (are chocolate covered granola bars healthy?? Yeah, I didn't think so!). Trust me, it could be a lot worse and overall, I'm pretty happy with how well I'm doing at not falling completely apart.

I'm not sure that next week will be better as far as work goes but I have a good feeling about the week after that. I should get into a good pace leading up to the Christmas break and the new year should be smooth sailing...fingers crossed

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

day 17 - busy bee

It's suddenly become very warm here. So warm in fact, that tonight when we pulled into our driveway, a moth was fluttering in the glow in the headlights. Very weird.

Work was insanely busy again today. Again I worked straight through lunch (although I did eat while I worked). I had to start about an hour later than normal because I went for a dentist appointment first thing. So far this week, I have more than made up for that hour. The pace is unbelievably insane right now. I'm happy to report though that things should get a smidgen more manageable soon. Since the summer, I've been carrying the workload of about 1.5 very very busy people. That 0.5 very busy person will hopefully be gone by next week. I'm scheduled to hand off much of the extra work to 2 coworkers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can coordinate things sooner rather than later.

Because of my appointment and whatnot, I didn't get in a proper workout this morning. I did get some walking in today though and goodness knows I spent a huge chunk of my day running up and down stairs so that definitely counts toward it. So far this week, things are going pretty okay. Despite the pace at work I'm feeling much better this week than I did last week and that makes me happy. I'm constantly amazed at how much we take "normal" for granted and how good it feels to return to those normal feelings when we've been off kilter.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

day 16 - am I home yet?

What a week it's shaping up to be. I worked late last night, I'll be working late tonight. I was in early both mornings, today, except for the 10 minutes it's taking me to eat my lunch and post here, I'm working through my lunch break.

This morning when I woke up, I could barely drag myself out of bed. I felt really groggy and heavy. I did workout but I only exercised for about half of the time I normally do. Fortunately, again this week, I am just working a four day week. It's nice to know that I'm having a long weekend. Goodness knows that by the time it gets here, I'll definitely need one!!

Monday, November 15, 2004

day 15 - kickin' butt

I feel great today. This morning I nearly jumped out of bed and couldn't wait to workout. Of course, I had to wait a little bit because I had to drive my hunny to work but as soon as I got home, I hopped to it and it felt good. Actually, it was kind of pathetic how much I was panting by the end of it but the buzz was great. It was so worth it.

The emails and comments of encouragement and support I've been receiving from all of you recently have helped more than you can imagine. I thought of you all while I was exercising and again, while I was packing my lunch and getting my breakfast together. Happily, I can report that healthy choices have been made today and, so far, the more foods thing is working. The weekend was a bit of a write-off but not totally, I'm not letting it get me down. Instead, I am working through it and moving ahead.

Onward and downward, here I come (and yes, I will remember to weigh-in on Saturday)!!

Sunday, November 14, 2004

day 14 - good intentions

Oh, when I got up this morning, I was going to get soooo much stuff done. I was going to catch up on my blog reading (because I've really neglected that lately and I'm getting behind with what everyone's been up to) and get some writing done. Did I mention that I was also going to have a fabulous workout?

It didn't happen, not exactly. We were up and out of the house early, running errands and the like. I think that Thursday night was still dragging us down because we actually napped this afternoon. It was a good nap, it was needed, and I feel better for it.

Right now, I'm feeling better than I have in a few weeks and I'm sure that next week will be waaaaaaay better than the past couple of weeks have been. One bright spot in all of this (and no, I didn't remember to weigh-in so it's nothing like that)is that when I sat down to figure out what I'd eaten the last couple of days, it wasn't totally horrible. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't fabulous but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I guess that even when I feel like I'm being a pig, I'm not being as much as a pig as I thought I was. Thank goodness for small favours huh??

Saturday, November 13, 2004

day 13 - weekend update

I totally forgot to weigh-in this morning. My morning was such a blur that I didn't realize that I hadn't done it until late in the day. I'm an early-morning-after-I-pee weigh-er so it didn't happen. I'll have to try to remember to do it tomorrow. I'm not feeling overly optimistic so I'm not sure what will happen.

Dinner last night wasn't great. We were both so tired that we didn't want to cook. After we got our errands finished we ended up at a pizza place. It was veggie pizza and we did have salad with it (and diet pop) but still, it was not a stellar way to end the week.

While eating pizza, we chatted about how slack everything's gotten recently and we're going to get really serious right away. Eating out less is definitely going to be at the top of the "to-do" list. Having said that, we're heading out for dinner again tonight but, at least it's Vietnamese and not pizza again so I can actually make decent choices.

It truly is always something, isn't it?

Friday, November 12, 2004

day 12 - so.very.tired

Thursday morning I woke up at 4:15, worked out, went to the office. It was a normal start to the day. Mid-afternoon, my hunny picked me up and we drove to Ottawa. When we got to Ottawa, we did a whirl-wind trip through IKEA, grabbed dinner, picked up my brother and his sweetie and went to a show. We got home at 2:30 a.m. I am so glad that I had booked today off. There is absolutely no way I could have dragged my butt into work today.

Obviously, except for a small walk this afternoon, there was no workout to be had. I also haven't tracked what I've eaten over the past couple of days but I'm pretty sure it won't be pretty. Looking on the bright side, it could always be worse!!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

day 11 - on the fly

Just a quickie. We're heading out of town in a little bit. I have a class this afternoon and once that's over, we're driving to Ottawa tonight for a show. We'll be back later tonight so it's going to be a long day but it should be fun.

See ya later!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

day 10 - simple solutions

Just recently, I've been under a lot of stress. The stress not only makes me eat, it causes me to eat total crap. It's got to stop!! Now, I know that we all have a lot of stress to deal with on a regular basis but lately, it's like everything is going to shit, all at the same time. I know that this is why I've been falling off the wagon so often and I know that only I can sort myself out and get back on track.

That said, I'm taking, I think, a practical approach to this problem. I'm going to eat more. What?? Eat MORE? Yes, eat more, but eat more healthy stuff. I figure if it eat more stuff that is good for me, I won't go looking for junk when I start feeling stressed. Today, for example, remembering the muffin fiasco from yesterday, I took an extra piece of fruit with me to work. Around the time yesterday that I was jonesing for something to eat, instead of heading off for a walk in search of something bad, I had the banana.

Also, I need to figure out a way to let go of things. I'm just letting too many things bother me and it's not necessary. There are things at home and at work that upset me, on a regular basis and I must find a way to not let it happen so much. It's not like I don't want to care about anything, I just don't want to care so much that when things don't happen exactly the way I thought that they should, I get upset. That's just dumb.

Anyway, I'm taking Friday off. Tomorrow night we're going out of town for a show. We'll be home later that night but it'll be late so I figured I'd sleep in and enjoy a lazy day. I actually have a bunch of vacation time that I need to take by the end of the calendar year so I'll be having a lot of long weekends for the next little while. That should help, it's got to!!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

day 9 - heaven help me

What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't workout this morning. For some reason, last night I was totally exhausted and could not wait until I went to bed. This morning, I did not want to get out of bed. I seriously could have stayed under the covers for another couple of hours. Of course, on the weekends, when I could sleep in, my body wakes up and want to do laundry at 6 a.m. Sick huh?? Okay, so I didn't workout. To resolve this, I actually a took a bit of a break and went outside for a small walk this morning. Big mistake. I bought myself a muffin while I was out. Raspberry Yogurt muffin. It was yummy but now I'm wondering what the hell I was thinking.

I plan to make it up later on in the day. I'll adjust my dinner calories to make up for it and I will definitely take a proper walk later on today. Isn't this a great way to start the day??

Monday, November 08, 2004

day 8 - hanging tough

Ordinarily, I don't have to struggle early in the day. This morning was weird though. I got up at my normal time, took my hunny to work, came home and worked out. I really had to work to talk myself into it though. I sat on the sofa, rewinding my video tape so I could watch Dr. Phil. I seriously considered not exercising, even though I was dressed and ready to go. Finally, I remembered a comment Sarah left me last week about remembering how good it feels when you exercise. She was absolutely right, I thought about that and hopped to it. Thank you Sarah, I may not have moved my ass this morning if it weren't for you!

My eating has been good today but again, I had a weird struggle with myself this morning. I had finished my workout, had made my lunch and was thinking about breakfast. Ordinarily, I have cereal, fruit, soy milk and cranberry juice. It's a well-balanced, low calorie, filling meal. I eat it all the time. I actually hesitated before I pulled it together this morning because my brain was going through the cupboards and fridge, trying to figure out a way to piece something bad together from a kitchen full of healthy ingredients. I didn't do it in the end. I actually slapped myself and did the right thing. Sad huh??

Maybe not really. Sad would have been not exercising and having a pre-dawn pigout in the dark. Happy is exercising (like I did) and eating low-fat, balanced, healthy meals (which I have also done). Hopefully tomorrow will be easier, it's got to be. Seriously!

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Day 7 - kick me, please

I cannot get my ass in gear. Right now I'm just feeling tired. The weekend has been far busier than I would have like it to be and I'm all out of sync. The past few days have been very weird on this whole wellness-journey thing. Either I'm doing okay because I'm white-knuckling things or I'm off the wagon. I've kept up with some form or another of exercise but eating is all over the place.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't know what was causing it. I know that it's stress. I have stress at work and at home and I'm getting sick of it. It causes my resistance to be low. So low that I listen to my inner fat girl instead of my inner thin girl and I make bad choices. Fortunately, I guess, the bad choices are never as bad as they were back in the "old days" and more often than not I'm making better choices. Unfortunately, there have been way more bad choices just recently than I'm happy about.

On the up side, I'm down .5 pounds since last week. Not great but I'll take it. In addition to that, I have one other piece of not negative news to report. Yesterday, I had to help my mum out with a sale at her church. The woman who was running the book table kept trying to lure me into buying something. All I could see out on display were crappy looking romance novels and I wasn't interested in those. At one point in the afternoon though, I saw a copy of Dr Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide peeking out of a box. I ran over, scooped it up and paid a dollar for it. Cool huh?? Now I just have to read it. I should also re-read the Weight Solution book too. I need something to help me get back on track.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

day 4 - kinda quiet

At the moment I don't have much to report. My eating has definitely improved over the past couple of days and it's getting easier to cope with. The cravings are not driving me as nuts as they had been. At the moment, I have a bit of a headache. The day here started out bright, clear and sunny. Right now, it's really cold, windy and rainy. Dismal pretty much sums it up I think. The headache is, I think, a result of the change in weather and too much time spent in stuffy rooms today. At least I can put the day behind me now. Thank goodness.

Anyway, here's some food for thought. Yet another good reason for all of us to "lighten our load," so to speak.

Feds: Obesity Raising Airline Fuel Costs
By DANIEL YEE, Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA
- Heavy suitcases aren't the only things weighing down airplanes and requiring them to burn more fuel, pushing up the cost of flights. A new government study reveals that airlines increasingly have to worry more about the weight of their passengers.

America's growing waistlines are hurting the bottom lines of airline companies as the extra pounds on passengers are causing a drag on planes. Heavier fliers have created heftier fuel costs, according to the government study.

Through the 1990s, the average weight of Americans increased by 10 pounds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The extra weight caused airlines to spend $275 million to burn 350 million more gallons of fuel in 2000 just to carry the additional weight of Americans, the federal agency estimated in a recent issue of the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

"The obesity epidemic has unexpected consequences beyond direct health effects," said Dr. Deron Burton of the CDC. "Our goal was to highlight one area that had not been looked at before."

The extra fuel burned also had an environmental impact, as an estimated 3.8 million extra tons of carbon dioxide were released into the air, according to the study.

The agency said its calculations are rough estimates, issued to highlight previously undocumented consequences of the ongoing obesity epidemic.

The estimates were calculated by determining how much fuel the 10 extra pounds of weight per passenger represented in Department of Transportation airline statistics, Burton said.

Obesity is a life-or-death struggle in the United States, the underlying cause of 400,000 deaths in 2000, a 33 percent jump from 1990. If current trends persist, it will become the nation's No. 1 cause of preventable death, the CDC said earlier this year.

More than half — 56 percent — of U.S. adults were overweight or obese in the early 1990s, according to a CDC survey. That rose to 65 percent in a similar survey done from 1999 to 2002.

Although the Air Transport Association of America has not yet validated the CDC data, spokesman Jack Evans said the health agency's appraisal "does not sound out of the realm of reality."

With most airlines reporting losses blamed partly on record-high fuel costs, everything on an airplane is now a weighty issue. Airlines are doing everything they can to lighten the load on all aircraft, from wide-body jets to turboprops.

Bulky magazines have gone out the door. Metal forks and spoons have been replaced with plastic. Large carry-ons are being scrutinized and even heavy materials that used to make up airplane seats are being replaced with plastic and other lightweight materials.

"We're dealing in a world of small numbers — even though it has a very incremental impact" to reduce a 60- to 120-ton aircraft's weight by bumping off a few magazines, Evans said. "When you consider airlines are flying millions of miles, it adds up over time."

Although passenger bulk has been an issue in the past — Dallas-based Southwest Airlines requires large people to buy a second seat for passenger safety and comfort — Evans says it's not likely airlines will scrutinize how much passengers weigh in the future. Instead, they are trying to do a better job of estimating passenger weight in figuring out how much fuel they need for a flight.

Seattle-based Alaska Airlines now calculates the weight of children on flights, instead of using adult-weight formulas for all passengers, Evans said.

"Just like we don't control the costs of our fuel, we don't control the weights of our passengers," he said. "Passengers gain weight, but airlines are the ones that go on a diet. It's part of the conundrum we face right now."

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Day 3 - not doing so well

Okay, so I didn't work out this morning because I didn't sleep much last night. We stayed up too late watching all the red states appear, like some kind of sick disease, on the maps on our tv.

Oh, I also ate sandwiches (yes, more than one) for dinner last night. As I said, it's not been going well. I did just have my healthy lunch though so that's something. If I can get through the afternoon without vomiting in disgust, I'll be back on track soon.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Day 2 - the good and the bad

I like and hate days like this. I like that they are busy and that they fly by quickly. I hate that they are too busy and that I have to work through my lunch. I'm literally taking 10 minutes right now to eat and post. Fun huh??

Workouts are going well this week. My legs are a little sore today so I must be on the right track. Eating is a struggle today. I've been really really hungry all day. It's weird but I'm trying to work through it.

Anyway, I must get back to it. I want to wish all my American friends a happy and safe election day. I hope that you are all able to make it to the polls and that you can vote without any problems!!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Day 1 - bye bye candies

Boy howdy it was so hard having candy in the house. I'm relieved that Halloween is over for another year and the stuff is gone. I was ready for 120 kids and ended up having 91. I was left with 29 little goodie bags full of candy. Instead of digging into them ourselves, I put them into a bag, tied it up and put it with my work stuff. This morning, before anyone else was in, I ran around the office and left little buddles of sweets for everyone. Better them than us!!

I'm very happy to report that physically, I'm feeling better today than I have in about 10 days. I actually worked out this morning. It was a little tough, getting back into it but it felt terrific when I was finished.

So, the exercising and the candy purge are good first steps. I intend to kick a little butt in November and I think I'm off to a good start today.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

back to normal

Today, finally, my back feels better, almost normal I'd say. My neck and shoulder are now stiff as a board but I can walk, yay!! I've been doing a bit of walking this week. Well on Thursday and then again yesterday. It wasn't a great huge amount but it made me feel better. Just being about to move around a bit without being in horrible pain was so nice. Today, I walked a bit again this morning. This afternoon, we went to see "Ray" so I've had kind of a lazy day. I still have one load of laundry to get done but otherwise, my plan to be lazy is working out.

After a two week absence, I stepped back on the scale this morning. What with no workouts to speak of except for a little walking, and the overeating I've been doing, I'm up 6 pounds. I'm not thrilled about it but it's just kicked my butt, hard. I'm back on track and will make my best effort to keep my resolve from now until the end of the year. I don't want to use the holidays as an excuse for a 3 week pig out, that does me no good at all. Anyway, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, I'm just going to pull myself out of this funk, concentrate on feeling better and get my ass in gear.

Friday, October 29, 2004

feeling Friday

I'm so glad that today is Friday. It felt like a Friday when I got up. I hate it when Wednesdays or Thursdays feel like Fridays, that totally messes with my head. For a few, fleeting moments yesterday, I pondered taking today off. The moment passed and I'm kind of glad that it did. I'm actually (for the first time in goodness knows when) getting some work done today.

My back feels a lot better today than it did yesterday. By tomorrow I expect to have reached "full recovery." Yesterday afternoon, I had to walk across campus for a class I'm taking. The walk was painful to say the least and I was feeling pretty bad by the time I got to my seat. Almost immediately after I sat down, I realized that I felt good. Not perfect but I wasn't in pain. It was the oddest thing. When I walked back to the office afterwards, I felt pretty good. I had to be careful about putting too much weight on my left foot (because jarring pains shooting into your hip are not fun) but otherwise, it was a huge improvement.

Anyway, workouts and regular meals will resume next week. Right now, I'm doing my very best to avoid eating any of the tiny lovely chocolate bars that are floating around me. I made up 120 goodie bags last night for shelling out on Sunday. I cannot wait to get all of this stuff out of my line of vision. I don't miss it when it's not around but boy, when it's in the house, it is hard not to think about!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

slow moving

I'm feeling marginally better today. My back is still stiff but I'm moving around almost upright. It's a start. Obviously, I have not worked out this week yet. I'll make up for it next week when I know that I will be feeling good as new.

Eating has been pretty good the past couple of days. Better than I thought actually. I was able to spend some time with Fitday this morning and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. Don't get me wrong, I definitely ate more than I should have over the weekend but I didn't go as far over as I had thought.

My hunny has been fabulous through all of this. He's been a great sport about doing things like laundry and basically fetching and carrying for me. By the weekend, we should have all of our "chores" caught up and I'll be able to put my feet up and chill. I am really looking forward to that!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

didja miss me?

Where does the time go? I'd love to say that I've been away on a fantastic non-stop-fun weekend but I've actually been at home, flat on my back on the heating pad since Sunday night.

We did get to Toronto, I did survive Saturday without too much caloric damage. When we went to bed Saturday night though, I felt like I was getting a cold. The next morning, I could hardly breathe. I was stiff and sore and just generally felt crummy. Eventually, I got up and started to move around. After my shower, my head felt loads better but my back was a mess. It seems like the cold has moved into my back. I've had this happen before, it's not fun.

Sunday afternoon, we were visiting friends and I was barely able to walk around. I knew then that I would have to go home. We weren't scheduled to go home until Monday but there was no way I could make it. Anyway, we got in at around 10 p.m. on Sunday and I spent my Monday on the heating pad. Yesterday, I got up, fully intending to go to work. When it took me 30 minutes to make my lunch, I realized that there was no way I could go in and I crawled back upstairs (literally) and got back into bed. Today I'm at work but I have the heating pad with me. It's helping. I'm still kind of crooked but nothing like I was yesterday. Ideally, I'd love to be at home right now but that's not going to happen so, here I am. Fun times huh??

Saturday, October 23, 2004

checking in

Just popping in on the fly. The past couple of days have been completely insane. I didn't get home from work until 10 p.m. last night and I'm heading back in right now. As soon as I finish up later today, we're heading out of town.

It's been a bit of an eating fest around here the past couple of days. Lack of routine really breeds crap eating. Yesterday, I had my typical healthy breakfast but didn't bring my lunch because I had plans with a friend to grab something while we were on a break. No problem, I had a great pita for lunch. I was totally full and it was really a good, healthy option for me. Unfortunately, part of the food service for the event I was working at, was in the room we were in. We were surrounded by tiny chocolate bars, brownies, cookies, etc. I tried to stick to the raw veggies but eventually I gave in and had to have some chocolate. I'm a weak, weak woman. Oh, did I mention that they fed us pizza for dinner? It could always be worse I suppose. At least I wasn't drinking on top of it all, like most of the folks were.

Anyway, I'm outta here for a couple of days. Hopefully I'll be stronger today than I was yesterday. *fingers crossed*

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

hump day

Fortunately, today is going much better than yesterday. Tuesday was just horrible and I had a total meltdown. I'm not sure why I got so emotional but I did and it's over and I'm okay today.

The week is just going to get busier and busier as it goes along. I'm working a fourteen hour day on Friday and then I have to work on Saturday as well. I've managed to weasel out of things by noon though. As soon as I get home from work, we're going to load up the car and get out of town for a couple of days. I am very very much looking forward to the break. We have plans with friends and plans to just chill out and relax. It'll be a very good time.

Anyway, other than that, there is not much to report. Boring is good sometimes.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

horrible

I had a horrible day today, just terrible. I have a tension headache (fortunately it's been slowly ebbing away since I got home from work) and am just generally very upset. I won't get into details but it's been quite emotional and, at a few points this afternoon, I was sobbing at my desk.

Oh well, it's over and I'm home. Fortunately for me, there are no tiny little hallowe'en sized chocolate bars in our house right now or I'd be inhaling them. Instead, I will have my healthy dinner, go walking with my hunny afterwards and try to forget it.

Monday, October 18, 2004

temptations

Do you ever have days when you want to just chuck in the towel and eat nothing but pizza, day in and day out? Sometimes I'll smell something, buttery or cheesey, and have that thought. Of course, pizza every day would be boring and I certainly wouldn't want to kill myself (and that would absolutely happen if I did that) but it's an interesting thought to entertain at times. Just giving up and eating crap would be so much easier than what we're all trying to do. It would not be good or better but it would probably be easier to allow yourself to slide into temptation whenever it faced you than it is to walk away and stick to your guns.

Having said that, today is going okay. I've not given in to any temptations. My eating has been clean and I worked out this morning. That's my plan for the whole of this week too. This weekend, when we go out of town, we have a couple of meals planned at favourite restaurants. We're also planning on staying at our favourite hotel and working out and swimming so that should compensate for the extra, planned, caloric intake. In the meantime, this week is going to be very very busy but at least I have a really lovely carrot dangling on the end of the stick to help me get through it!!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

early

I've been up for a while now. My head's a little stuffy, making it difficult to keep sleeping. I'm not complaining though, overall, I slept very well last night.

The past couple of days have been a bit of a blur but it's very peaceful in the house right now. It's still dark and it's raining like crazy. It's been raining for the best part of the past 24 hours. It stopped for a bit yesterday in the morning, just long enough to get a little walk in, but other than that, it's been dark and gloomy. I don't actually mind it though, funnily enough.

Friday at work was nuts. I worked straight through my lunch. I made myself go get my lunch though, and I ate it at my desk while I worked. One thing I've learned over these months of trying to shrink is to not miss lunch. On the whole, I very rarely skip meals anymore. During the week, I get my three squares in. The weekend's are trickier but the weekly routine of three meals works for me.

Yesterday was busy too. We did manage to sleep in a little bit (which was very nice) and went out for brunch. After brunch, we went to a matinee of "Team America: World Police." We don't go to the movies a lot because there is rarely anything that makes it into the theatre in this Podunk town that we actually care to see. This was an exception though. We're both huge South Park fans and we loved Team America. I don't remember the last time I have laughed as much in a movie as I did yesterday. Of course, it's not the kind of humour that all folks will appreciate but we liked it all the same. As I mentioned back in June when we actually went to the movies twice in as many weeks, I also enjoy that I fit into the seats so much better now. It's funny how little things like that just sneak up on you and surprise you from time to time.

After the show, we ran around and got our groceries done. We're stocked up again with good stuff for the week, hopefully this week we'll actually be eating at home. Last week was crazy. We ate out far more than we ate at home. Monday we were at my mum's, Wednesday we had Red Lobster with the little old guy, Thursday, my hunny was sick as a dog so I took him out for soup at our favourite Vietnamese place and Friday night, we ended up going out too. Yikes. This week though, we'll be eating at home. We plan to go to Toronto for the weekend next weekend so we want to save our pennies this week.

In the blur of the past couple of days, I forgot to weigh-in yesterday. I'll have to do it this morning, or tomorrow and report back. This week, given all the eating out we've done, I'll be happy if I don't gain anything!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

waiting to be soggy

The forecast calls for nothing but rain here for the next five or six days. Should make for a nice weekend huh?? On the bright side, the rain has not yet started so we may not be in for as much moisture as they're saying.

My appointment with my doctor went well yesterday. She gave me some freebies of a nasal spray to help with my sinus headaches. I haven't had to use it yet but it's nice to know that I have something that should actually help the problem instead of just making the pain go away.

Last night we had our weekly dinner out with the LOG. He wanted to go to Red Lobster. This is always a challenge for me, those buns are sooo good. Anyway, we went and I had a gorgeous salad, some shrimp and even one of those cheddar bay rolls. The thing I am most proud of is that I had only one roll. Baby steps, baby steps...I just keep telling myself that over and over and over again.

Yesterday afternoon, I could have sworn I was getting sick. That cold that is in the office felt like it was creeping up on me. I was kind of worried because I knew that we'd be up late last night, watching the debate. When we did get to bed, I fell asleep quickly and felt much better when I woke up. I could have stayed in the bed all day mind, but I did get up and worked out. The cold feeling is still there, in the back of my head, but I don't think I'll be getting sick like the others around me are. So, cheese buns and fatigue aside, I'm doing okay this week.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

being boring

Sometimes I feel like I just repeat myself most days. That's good though, as I've written here before, boring works, most of the time.

Today is going well. I had good night's rest last night yet didn't want to get up. Once I got up, I didn't want to workout. I mean, really didn't want to exercise. For a few minutes, I entertained the idea of not doing it all. Once I got downstairs though and started into my routine, I thought, "okay, this is pretty horrible today, I'll just do five minutes." Well, after five minutes, it was going pretty good. I was still feeling tired but thought, "ten minutes, then breakfast!" Well, I'm pretty pleased to report that I did my full workout. Once I got into it, I couldn't just stop and I'm glad for that.

This afternoon, I'm going back to see my doctor. She was away for a while over the summer and then I got busy so it's been a while since I've checked in with her. I miss our monthly meetings and intend to get back into them again. The reality is that I need the external accountability. I think that's why something like weight watchers works so well for some folks. Lately, I've been thinking about going the WW route, to kick-start things. I found out recently that there is a meeting on Saturday mornings, not far from my house and they have a good introductory deal going on right now. I'm not sure though, I have until the end of this month to decide. Right now, I'm sort of white-knuckling things and I really don't like how that feels. Trying something new might be good for me.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

survival

Thanksgiving is over for another year. I'm not upset about this at all. We had dinner at my mum's last night and it felt like I went really overboard when I was there. We had missed the official Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's but we wanted to get together just the five of us so we did it at mum's last night. Anyway, she served roasted pork loin and roasted potatoes, carrots, turnip, broccoli salad (with feta, not cheddar). I had a little bit of everything and was surprised to discover that I stayed within my caloric limit for the day. Luckily, my mum is big into low-fat so she doesn't cook her veg in oil and cover them with fatty sauces.

Overall, the long weekend wasn't bad at all. I did have some snacks on the weekend but we bought small quantities of baked snacks to feed our crunchy/salty craving. Also, for the second weekend in a row, we stayed out of the bulk barn. As I've mentioned here before, it's a big weakness for me so staying clear kept me honest this weekend. The big test will come later this week when I go back there to re-stock my bread making supplies.

Speaking of bread making, that is still going very well. I have not bought a loaf of bread in several weeks now. I make the multi-grain bread for my take-to-work lunches and either pumpernickle or rye for LOG.

Anyway, I'm back at work and back into my regular workout routine and am feeling pretty good right now. The headache I had on the weekend is totally gone. I managed to get through it without having to resort to a handful of ibuprofens. More and more, I'm trying to wean myself off stuff like that. Instead, I drank a lot of water over the weekend and I think that made a difference. Ooh, one last thing for today, I did see a 2 pound loss on Saturday morning when I did my weigh-in. Truthfully, I wasn't expecting much so I'm pretty thrilled about it!! At the moment, any movement in that downward direction is just fabulous!!

Monday, October 11, 2004

weekend wrap-up

Technically, it's still the weekend. I loves me a long weekend. We haven't had any formal thanksgiving celebrations yet. We had planned to go to a big family gathering yesterday but I couldn't go. When I got up yesterday morning I had a blinding, literally, sinus headache. The area around my right eye was throbbing so much, my teeth hurt. I also had a tough time focusing on reading or anything like that. Not good. I did manage to read something in Shape magazine that said sinusitis could be a reaction to mould. Given that the leaves are falling and everything is starting to decay outside, that sort of fits. Also, we were at the dump on Saturday so I could have gotten a lung full of something from the old soggy sofas and mattresses that were laying around.

Saturday was pretty busy. We did a tonne of errands, got some major chores done and squeezed in some walking outside as well. Yesterday I was feeling so crummy, I just rested and didn't worry about exercise, at all. Eating wasn't terrible. I averaged two meals per day on Saturday and Sunday. We went out for lunch/brunch on Saturday and then had kind of a big lunch at home yesterday so I skipped my breakfast both days. Ordinarily I never do that. Not sure what today will bring. We're due to have dinner at my mum's tonight. I'm going to try to get outside for a walk later on. It's kind of cold and wet outside so, if I don't get outside, I'm going to do a mile of WATP. Either way, I'm planning on walking today.

So that's my weekend, in a nutshell. I hope that you're all having a happy thankgiving weekend so far!!

Friday, October 08, 2004

kinds of busy

You know that good kind of busy, the kind where the time is flying and you're getting stuff done? That always feels good, to me anyway. This week has been that bad kind of busy. The time is flying but you never get anything done. You're scattered, disorganized, frustrated and upset. Not good at all.

Even though this has been on of the busiest, most stressful weeks I've had at work in a while, I've been doing very well at keeping things together. Even though I was pretty tired this morning, I worked out. My food consumption has been good and I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm not worried about over-indulging on Thanksgiving or giving in to weekend treats. It won't happen, I won't let it! Somehow, all this insanity that has been swirling around me, has helped me to dig my heels in and just stick to it.

Who knew that good stuff could come out of crap??

Thursday, October 07, 2004

chick

I meant to type "quick check" but it came out "chick" mmm...weird. Actually, my whole day has been a big rush. I don't know where it went and I know that I got very little done. My brain is really fried right about now and I totally cannot believe that I still have one more day left this week. At the moment, I feel like it must be Friday. I'm that kind of tired, know what I mean??

Anyway, I just wanted to quickly check in and say that day three went perfectly on plan yesterday. Day four has gone perfectly well too. I just did my tally for the day and my eating was terrific. I've also managed to have really excellent workouts this week so far.

Overall I'm really happy with myself. I feel so good about the clean eating that I won't be upset if I don't a loss this week. Right now, I honestly feel like it's less about the numbers and more about the effort!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

three in a row

I'm a little groggy today because we stayed up late last night. Late for us anyway. We watched the vice-presidential debate and quite enjoyed it. You could tell that Cheney was really pissed at Edwards. Even if you watched it with the sound off, you could tell by each candidate's body language who was lying and who was telling the truth. I thought Dick was going to disappear into his blazer a couple of times.

Anyway, I'm on day three and it's going very very well. Yesterday was good. My eating was perfectly on plan, today should be too. We're going out with the LOG for our weekly dinner out. I think I know where we'll be going and what I'm ordering so I'll be fine again today. Now, I don't think I've lost any weight this week yet but I'm feeling good. Despite the sleep deprivation I still have a lot of energy so I know that I'm heading in the right direction.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

day two

Day one went very well. I'm quite pleased with myself. I'm back to taking things one day at a time again. It worked before, it'll work again. Last night after dinner, we had to go out and do some errands. We realized last night that we were out of some pretty major staples, garlic for one. Our house cannot function without garlic!!

Anyway, I sat down to make my list and the LOG had asked us to get him some chocolate covered pretzels at the bulk store. I told him that we'd pick some up but I secretly felt this huge feeling of dread. The bulk store is a big weakness for me and after the pancake victory in the morning, I didn't know that I could actually go in there and not give in to all those little orange and black Halloween candies. Fortunately, my lovely hunny offered to go in and get the pretzels for me. I was so relieved to not have to go in there. Sad isn't it?? It's just a store for pete's sake. After that, we went to Costco. They were baking something chocolatey in there. You could smell it very clearly while we checked out the produce section. Again, I sucked it up, ignored my nose and kept walking. I didn't look at the muffins or m & m cookies. I wasn't seduced by the boxes of Christmas candy. It's silly but I stayed strong and didn't eat another bite of food for the rest of the night.

This morning I had another good workout. I rode a little further on my bike interval than I did yesterday. My goal for this week is to increase it a little bit each day and so far, so good. I know it's only day two but hey, a girl's gotta take the NSV's where she finds them.

Right now, I feel really strong and am certain that today will be just as successful as yesterday!! Happy Tuesday everyone!!

Monday, October 04, 2004

better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!
better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!