Friday, February 27, 2009

not much

I feel like I should have a post today but I don't have a lot to say. I've been online only hit and miss this week because my computer at home is needing a new processor and we won't be getting that sorted out until the weekend (maybe).

Off and on this week, I've felt like I'm getting a cold or flu. On Tuesday, I felt really lousy and took some cold meds and felt better. I'm having the same symptoms again right now. I've taken another dose of the cold meds but my head is pounding still and I feel a little dizzy.

I have a lot to do here at work this afternoon but I think I'll be hitting the bed as soon as I get home, instead of hitting the old exercise bike. Honestly, I'll be so glad when winter is over and all of these horrible germs are gone.

hope you all have a good weekend!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

wednesday wrap-up - week 3

I've spent the week on what feels like a food roller coaster. I've had my good moments (the ups) and some moments I've not been so proud of (the downs). Overall, I do know that when all is done and dusted, I've had more ups than downs but unfortunately, not enough to show any significant results. In the past, I'd have blamed the time of the year, the changing weather and general malaise that happens 'round here at this time of the year. Of course, all of those things come into play but ultimately, I should be stronger than that and I wasn't.

So, having said all of that, here's my weekly wrap-up:

summary - week ending February 25
  • vitamins and water - back on track on both scores. I took those vitamins every day and have been chugging the water like it's going out of style. I do notice an improvement in my skin and I thank the H20 for that
  • due to computer issues at home and busy days at work, I've not posted as often as I would have liked to. Hopefully, by the weekend, my home computer will be back up and running
  • discussed the treats at work situation with my co-workers. We're throwing all of the crap out and everyone is going to make an effort to not bring stuff in. We always all complain about and yet some folks continue to bring it in. We'll see how it goes!

Monday, February 23, 2009

no remorse

Friday night, before we went home, we stopped for groceries. My hunny had driven past the store on his way to pick me up and he commented that it was really busy there. As much as I would have liked to have put it off, I knew that if we didn't go on our way home, we may go home, order a pizza for dinner and that would start the weekend off on a bad foot.

The store was really busy but we got through it pretty quickly. We stocked up on lots of healthy snacks. Once again, almost no packaged food was in our buggy, just stuff from the outside aisles of the store.

Over the weekend, the nagging hunger pretty much stayed away. On Saturday night, because we'd not been out to dinner in over a week (which is very good for us!), we decided to go out for sushi. It's an all you can eat place but you order from the menu. We've been there before and really enjoy it. I had my favourite salad (with deliciously fresh avocados) and we ordered lots of sushi. It was super filling and very satisfying but I was still jonesing for chocolate after dinner.

On the way home, we stopped off at the drug store so I could get a chocolate bar. that's right, I broke down. It was so good. And I didn't eat the whole thing that night. I savoured every bite and enjoyed some of it yesterday too. I realize now that rather than make myself insane trying to feed a craving with something else, it's better for me to indulge in a small amount of the real thing, just once in a while. I think I'm good on the chocolate front for a while now. I'm glad that I waited as long as I did but I don't feel badly about finally giving in.

Friday, February 20, 2009

the hunger

For some unknown reason, the past couple of days have been really challenging for me. On Wednesday and Thursday, I just felt hungry all day long. Even after eating my meals, I'd still feel hungry. The temptation to snack was intense. Fortunately, we don't have any junk in the house so the small amount of snacking I did do was on stuff which wasn't horrible. All the water and gum in the world wasn't helping, which is odd, because it usually does.

Today I don't have that nagging hungry feeling like I did yesterday. I keep trying to figure out what caused it. Perhaps the weather has something to do with it. It has suddenly become very cold here again after a few days of pretty moderate weather (for this time of the year in this part of the world anyway). Yesterday I felt sore and cold and it was damp all day. I wonder if just wanted to comfort myself with food. Whatever it was, I tried to fight it. I did eat a couple of extra portions of sugar free jello along the way but for the most part, I just tried to ignore it.

It's a good thing I did too because if the weather hadn't been sort of dicey, I would have been jumping in the car and heading to Tim Horton's for something chocolatey and cake-y or to the grocery store for something in the Ben & Jerry's family. Not good. Well, actually, really yummy but not at all what I need right now.

Hopefully, whatever it was is over for now and I won't be struggling to stay on track all weekend. I am looking forward to a time when this all becomes second nature again.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

survey says

Last night, we had a visit by some folks from Statistics Canada. They were doing a survey for our local public health unit to find out what folks in the community knew about their services.

The survey itself was brief but they left behind some literature about the health unit which was sort of interesting. I knew about a few of their programs but they have a couple which could help with weight loss that I was not aware of (they also left us a copy of the latest "Canada's Food Guide" which was nice). The two programs I thought were particularly cool were the "living well phone line" and "dial-a-dietitian."

It's sort of cool that they came to our door. You just never know when help is going to be offered to you - this was a very pleasant surprise.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

wednesday wrap-up - week 2

You may have wondered where I have been for the past almost a week. I was sick. As a dog. I had booked off some extra time for an extra-long, fun-filled weekend. All of my weekend plans were cancelled and I was sick for almost the whole time. Not fun. Bad food choices were made at time, at other times, I had no appetite at all. Overall, the week was a bit of a wash out

So, having said all of that, here's my weekly wrap-up:

summary - week ending February 18
  • vitamins and water - I did drink a huge amount of water over the past week but the vitamins were hit and miss because of my not feeling good. This week should be a huge improvement. I also drank a lot of diet ginger ale which wasn't great
  • despite my good intentions, I did not post here at all over the weekend or during "the illness"
  • was able to avoid the many treats which keep coming into the office. I even avoided the wonderful smelling marble cake which was here on Thursday
  • no real, intentional exercise to speak of
  • did not weigh in but if I had, I don't think I'd have seen a change for the better

Thursday, February 12, 2009

fill'er up

This week, I've noticed that I fill up very quickly at meal time. It's pretty incredible and I'm not complaining one little bit. I imagine that part of it is all of the water I've been drinking, combined with the better quality food.

The best part of it is that the evening snack cravings are disappearing. I'm sure that the weekend (as always) will continue to be a struggle but at least I feel like I'm in control through the week.

Yesterday, I got a little walking in. It was raining pretty hard so I didn't do a whole lot (just 20 minutes) but I was glad I did it. It's a long weekend 'round here this weekend and the weather is supposed to be cold but nice. This week, a lot of the snow has melted so the streets and sidewalks are in much better shape than they were at the beginning of the month. The improved conditions should make walking easier - I'd like to walk outside every day over the weekend if the weather permits. I'd enjoy it and I think that the doggies would as well!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

wednesday wrap-up - week 1

This week was really the first full week I can report on. Overall, I have to say that I feel good about how things went. In the past, I've jumped into this with both feet and white knuckled things. I've overcontrolled my portions and that created a raging craving monster inside of me. This time, I'm not being as hard on myself. As I mentioned last week, I'm concerned more with content than portion size (they seem to go hand in hand though). I know that I've eaten far less food this week than I have in a long time. I also know that the food I did eat was of a higher quality (more nutritious, less crap-filled) and that I'm feeling better physically because of these better choices.

So, having said all of that, here's my weekly wrap-up:

summary - week ending February 11
  • again with the small stuff - I took my vitamins every day over the past week and I drank a butt load of water. I did have some diet soda on the weekend but not nearly as much as I normally would
  • posted here, almost every day - I took one day off over the weekend - this journal keeps me accountable to myself and I like sharing what I struggle with, and what works, with you
  • continued to avoid treats while at work. yesterday, a wonderful coworker brought in some carrot cake. it looks and smells delicioius and it was very nice of her to bring it in but I feel good about having not indulged in even a small piece
  • once again, my exercise was mostly stuff involving the dogs and some walking. I feel like I need to create a solid exercise plan now that I'm feeling better about my eating
  • hopped on the scale this morning for the first time in a long while. I wasn't impressed but also wasn't shocked by what I saw. I know that the next time I hop on it, it'll be a smaller number

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

like water for chicken

My poor hunny is a migraine sufferer. Recently, because of the crazy weather he's been suffering with them more frequently than normal. Yesterday he had one so when he picked me up from work he feeling better but beaten up. He'd gone home in the morning and slept for a little while.

We had a couple of errands to do and after we were finished them and were on our way home, the "what will we have for dinner" discussion started. Now, my hunny is a chef so he's looks after most of our meals. Sometimes when he's recovering from a headache he gets some odd cravings. Last night, it was chicken. He's not a fan of chicken for the most part (he eats it but you know...). It wasn't just chicken though, he kept talking about fried chicken. This was very strange. He is really not a fan of fried chicken. Anyway, he kept talking about it and talking about it and we ended up eventually in the drive thru of the local KFC. It wasn't the best thing in the world to have had for dinner but it did make him feel better. I had a bowl thing (so did he) and we shared some popcorn chicken. I did notice that I was full really quickly and didn't feel like snacking at all in the evening. I suppose that's a good thing huh? Usually "fast food" leaves me wanting more.

This morning, not intentionally, I have avoided coffee at work (and the yummy looking carrot cake someone brought in) and have been drinking a lot of water. Dinner was a bit salty last night so that may be why I've been wanting water. Less than stellar food choices aside, overall I feel better right now than I did two weeks ago so I think I'm on the right path.

Monday, February 09, 2009

I survived!

I ate no chocolate this weekend.

I did not bake muffins (it would have been a silly thing to do for me - I think I would have eaten too many of them and they still wouldn't have been chocolate).

I did snack on my rice cake type snack items on Friday night and yesterday afternoon. We did order a pizza for a late lunch / early dinner on Saturday and I had salad with it. It was a fair compromise for having a little bit of greasy stuff. I did have some leftovers yesterday too but overall, it could have been much worse.

The weekend really was all about food. Me thinking about wanting something I really shouldn't have (or at least not have too much of or have too often) and then getting busy doing something else so I'd stop thinking about it. Distractions can work to help with cravings, I think.

While part of me wanted to stay home today and play with the dogs, the other (bigger) part of me is glad to be back at work and into my routine. Routine is the very best friend of a person who has food issues!!

Saturday, February 07, 2009


Woke up this morning feeling stiff and sore, again. Whatever this bug is that I have, it's getting rather boring.

I also woke up thinking about greasy breakfast foods and chocolate. Hormones anyone? Yeah, I'm fighting it. Maybe the compromise will be some sort of home baked thing. Mmm... maybe low fat carrot muffins?

Friday, February 06, 2009


All week this week, I've been dragging my butt around. I talked to a co-worker this morning and she's felt the same way. We both think that we've had a weird flu bug of sorts. Partly it could be that we've had extremely cold weather here this week but I don't think it's entirely down to the weather. Last night and this morning, I was having aches and pains in my joints and was really uncomfortable. It's not so bad now that I'm at work and have been moving around but I was feeling really crappy about it last night.

In fact, I felt so crappy about it that I really wanted to indulge in something "bad" to make myself feel better. Fortunately, we didn't have any bad stuff in the house. After work last night, we stopped off to do a quick shop at the grocery store. While we were there, we stuck to our list and bought mostly fresh ingredients so our meals will continue to be amazing, veggie filled events. I did pick up a couple of veggie frozen pizzas. I love pizza and figured that having a frozen pizza in the house will help when I get those cravings. They are less fatty than the one we like to order from our neighbourhood pizzeria not to mention they are much smaller. I wanted to buy a package of whole wheat crusts but they didn't have any so I opted for the frozen version, if you're wondering. The other thing I got for myself (trying to think ahead instead of reacting always) were a couple of bags of rice cake chip things. I know that I'm heading into a particularly hormonal time of the month and I may need something salty. They should help. I know I should try to avoid the sale entirely but that's not going to happen (not yet anyway) so I figure it's better to control the fat and the portion. Again, baby steps right.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't worried about the weekend but I'm trying to remain focused on the long term. Overall, I think my choices have been much better than they were last week. All I can do is keep improving that every week and know that I'll feel better for it in the long run.

What do you do to avoid those evening and weekend temptations?

Thursday, February 05, 2009

on weight loss porn

It occurred to me today that many of us who read weight loss journals, look for inspiration not only in the stories but in the photos that the intrepid "losers" post. It's sort of the "porn" part of this isn't it? Wanting to see those photos and cheer others on. I always hope to find someone who started out in similar shape that I'm in right now, because it helps me to see where I could end up. In my years of doing this, I've never posted progress photos. I think it's partly because I've never stayed 'down' long enough to feel good about posting them. I do think though that I will start taking them again. Now that I have a tripod for my camera, I can do it on my own. I'm not promising that when I take them, that I'll post them, but I might.

My eating continues to be pretty good although last night was a bit much. We were out doing errands after work and neither of us were feeling particularly sparkly. I suggested that on the way home, we stop off for that bowl of Pho I'd been thinking about all week. Unfortunately, we had to drive by our favourite Chinese buffet to get the Vietnamese place and the buffet won out. I will confess that I had a couple of deep friend battered shrimp but mostly, I ate veggies and chicken (I had a small amount of steamed rice with a gorgeous curry dish they had). I ate a large amount of broccoli which really filled me up. Also, I didn't have any dessert and I didn't snack at all when I got home. I felt good about the choices I made although I know that much of stuff we had was too fatty. Still, I keep focusing on better choices and I think I made the right ones (mostly) in the situation I was in.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

wednesday wrap-up - re-start edition

I wasn't sure that I was going to go back to the wednesday wrap-up but it's something that I like about my journal. Once a week, I can stand up and look back on what worked and what didn't. Now, I'm not officially looking back on an entire week, just a couple of days but I thought a little reflection is never a bad thing.

So, having said all of that, here's my weekly wrap-up:

summary - week ending February 4
  • I've been taking my vitamins very regularly. I'm pretty sure that I took them every day in the last week
  • I've been attempting to drink less sugar free soda and more water when I'm at home. I don't think I've had any soda since Saturday which is a pretty big deal for me
  • totally avoided the black hole, err, table of treats in the kitchen at work. I noticed this morning that in addition to a couple of leftover muffins (2 days old now, they hold NO appeal), there was an open bar of chocolate, some jolly ranchers and half a box of chocolates from Christmas. If it were upto me, the stuff would all be in the bin but it's not, so I continue to walk past it all, several times a day
  • exercise has consisted of running with the dogs in the yard and the basement, chasing balls and frisbees around and a small amount of walking
  • for now, I'm staying away from the scale. It is too early for me to feel like I've lost anything. For the next few weeks, I think I'll use the good old pant-o-metre to measure

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


So yesterday, when I "restarted" things, I decided to worry less about how much I was eating and to focus on what I was putting into my mouth.

See, this comes from us being on a weird eating streak lately. You know how things can typically fall apart over the holiday season? You have the best of intentions but the fudge always looks better than the celery, right? Well once we got back into our post-holiday routine, we just never got straight again. Through the week it wasn't too bad (although I think we were eating out more often than was sensible some weeks) but the weekends were terrible. Junk. Chips and salty snacks, cookies, just bad stuff and too much of it.

Anyway, I realized yesterday that I eat too much of it because it's not satisfying so it takes more of it to feel it. Yesterday, eating no junk, consuming only non-junk food, I wasn't hungry. I didn't feel like I needed second helpings of anything because I was satisfied. As time goes along, I will reduce my portions I think but for now, I'm just happy to not be snacking on crap.

Monday, February 02, 2009

me 1, muffins 0

suck it muffins!

I don't need you and I didn't have one of you so you didn't have me!! ha!!

Not having pho for dinner but Mark's making something with chicken and lots of veggies and it smells good.

we're off to a rockin' start!!

starting over

So as much as I start and stop and start and stop with this, I'm restarting yet again but this time I'm not stopping. I will muddle through and post here for no one's benefit but my own. You may find it boring but it's going to be all about me and keeping track of what I'm doing for me. me! me! me!


Day 1

- no "junk" has been consumed by this chickie so far today.
- have so far resisted the Tim Horton's muffins which someone brought in. they taunt me everytime I walk into the kitchen
- am chewing sugar free gum and thinking about a bowl of pho for dinner, must be getting sick because I only crave it when I'm not well
- so far, so good.