This week has been tough and long so far.
Work has been crazy busy, my back is feeling better but it's not 100% yet. I know that it's just all the stress. I'm really tired and feeling run down. It wouldn't surprise me at all if I ended up with a cold in a few days.
I've been trying to eat well through all of this. Not totally perfect but good, better than I had been. The exercise thing will wait until my back is better. Right now, I'm just trying to be as good to myself as I can. Once this week is over, work should settle down a little and my routine will get back to normal.
I'm looking forward to resting up and healing a bit, it's been a long month so far.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
crooked
crap.
I'm up, I'm sipping coffee, I'm still crooked as hell.
Admittedly, I feel slightly better than I did last night but it still hurts to walk and I can barely sit up in the chair right now. I think I have to get back to bed and call in sick. I really didn't want to do this, I need to get back into the office (we have a big thing happening on Saturday) but I am worried that if I drag myself into work, that I'll be worse tomorrow and be totally screwed for the weekend.
Stress sucks, doesn't it folks? arrgghhh!!
I'm up, I'm sipping coffee, I'm still crooked as hell.
Admittedly, I feel slightly better than I did last night but it still hurts to walk and I can barely sit up in the chair right now. I think I have to get back to bed and call in sick. I really didn't want to do this, I need to get back into the office (we have a big thing happening on Saturday) but I am worried that if I drag myself into work, that I'll be worse tomorrow and be totally screwed for the weekend.
Stress sucks, doesn't it folks? arrgghhh!!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
sore
last night, we were in bed by 8 p.m.
Up until we got home yesterday, we were holding ourselves together pretty well. Being home though, around familiar stuff, around LOG's stuff (a lot of his things were still in his room here at the house) was difficult.
When we got home, there was a beautiful card from my folks waiting for us, reading that made us both cry. Later on, a huge bouquet of flowers from the girls I work with arrived, that made us cry. Of course, I kind of laughed a little as we lit this candle that the funeral home gave us and placed it next to the flowers. In Judaism flowers are not really appropriate when someone dies. I said to my hunny that they sort of represented the compromise that LOG made when he decided to move here to be with us. His life became a little more "goy-ish" than it ever had, he even spent Christmas with us at my mum & dad's.
I expect that the next few days will be difficult too. At some point, we need to go over to the nursing home and pack up his things. We had hoped to do that today but my back is completely screwed right now, well my hip really. My body deals with stress by having my hip seize up. This stops me from being able to sit comfortably or walk straight up. It's quite inconvenient and painful and I'm hoping that I'll be better tomorrow because I need to go to work. I'm just grateful that this didn't happen until after we got home (it started a bit last night). My hunny says that it's just my body dealing with me holding everything in until the funeral was over and all the stuff we needed to do was done. I think he's right. Hopefully, sleep and ibuprofen will help get me sorted out. I don't want to miss another day of work.
Up until we got home yesterday, we were holding ourselves together pretty well. Being home though, around familiar stuff, around LOG's stuff (a lot of his things were still in his room here at the house) was difficult.
When we got home, there was a beautiful card from my folks waiting for us, reading that made us both cry. Later on, a huge bouquet of flowers from the girls I work with arrived, that made us cry. Of course, I kind of laughed a little as we lit this candle that the funeral home gave us and placed it next to the flowers. In Judaism flowers are not really appropriate when someone dies. I said to my hunny that they sort of represented the compromise that LOG made when he decided to move here to be with us. His life became a little more "goy-ish" than it ever had, he even spent Christmas with us at my mum & dad's.
I expect that the next few days will be difficult too. At some point, we need to go over to the nursing home and pack up his things. We had hoped to do that today but my back is completely screwed right now, well my hip really. My body deals with stress by having my hip seize up. This stops me from being able to sit comfortably or walk straight up. It's quite inconvenient and painful and I'm hoping that I'll be better tomorrow because I need to go to work. I'm just grateful that this didn't happen until after we got home (it started a bit last night). My hunny says that it's just my body dealing with me holding everything in until the funeral was over and all the stuff we needed to do was done. I think he's right. Hopefully, sleep and ibuprofen will help get me sorted out. I don't want to miss another day of work.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
back home
we got home a little while ago.
I can't remember when I've been so tired. the funeral was yesterday morning and it was really nice, I think that LOG would have liked it, he definitely would have liked the rabbi. Fortunately, friends of ours had a connection to this fellow. The rabbi is married to their neice. He was a great guy, young, cool and very respectful of the way we wanted things to go. The whole process was made a lot easier by him.
Right now, I'm feeling really beaten up and tired. My whole body aches and I'm anxious to get into bed. Is 6 p.m. too early to go to bed?
I can't remember when I've been so tired. the funeral was yesterday morning and it was really nice, I think that LOG would have liked it, he definitely would have liked the rabbi. Fortunately, friends of ours had a connection to this fellow. The rabbi is married to their neice. He was a great guy, young, cool and very respectful of the way we wanted things to go. The whole process was made a lot easier by him.
Right now, I'm feeling really beaten up and tired. My whole body aches and I'm anxious to get into bed. Is 6 p.m. too early to go to bed?
Thursday, September 21, 2006
gone
LOG passed away last night, about 2 hours after we left him.
In an hour or so, we're heading to Toronto for his funeral. He has to be buried tomorrow morning, before rosh hashanah starts.
thanks for all of your good thoughts everyone. see you in a couple of days.
In an hour or so, we're heading to Toronto for his funeral. He has to be buried tomorrow morning, before rosh hashanah starts.
thanks for all of your good thoughts everyone. see you in a couple of days.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
still here
LOG's still hanging on.
At 5:15 p.m. today though, we really thought that he died. My hunny even went to get the nurse but by the time he was back in the room, LOG was breathing again.
It's still a waiting game, he could go any minute or he could go in a few hours.
It's been a really long day, sitting with him, but I'm glad that we did it. We're heading off to bed now, no matter what happens, tomorrow will be another long day.
don't get old kiddos.
At 5:15 p.m. today though, we really thought that he died. My hunny even went to get the nurse but by the time he was back in the room, LOG was breathing again.
It's still a waiting game, he could go any minute or he could go in a few hours.
It's been a really long day, sitting with him, but I'm glad that we did it. We're heading off to bed now, no matter what happens, tomorrow will be another long day.
don't get old kiddos.
hanging by a thread
well I managed to barely get through my busy week last week, it was really difficult but I made it. I'm still exhausted though and I don't see an end in sight for that. LOG is in the hospital and we don't expect that he'll make it through the next 12 hours. We've been with him at the hospital all day, he's very weak, his lungs are full of fluid, his heart is very weak and he has a serious infection that is out of control. He's on morphine and oxygen and is very very comfortable right now. We don't expect that he'll regain consciousness though. We hope to get a few hours of sleep tonight and get back to see him in the morning. This has been a long time coming but it still feels strange. I guess you never really know how you're going to feel about something like this until you're in the middle of it.
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