blah

TOM finally arrived this morning and I feel completely blah. I have no energy at all (although I've been slowly puttering around the house all morning) and cannot get warm. My feet are cold, my hands are cold, no fun.

I stepped on the scale this morning and again, for the second week in a row, no movement. No up (good) and no down. I'm not surprised entirely but honestly, I'm a little disappointed.

Exercise is something I need to focus more on. The little bits of walking here and there that I'm doing isn't enough and I realize this. I have a recumbent bike, DVDs, weights, bands, a mat....I need to get my rear end moving and I know it. I will definitely get myself into a proper exercise routine. Most likely, I won't start back at it today but I'm going to start moving again tomorrow!

weak end

I'm really happy that Friday has arrived. The week flew by for me but I'm way more tired than I probably should be. TOM still hasn't arrived, although I've been feeling yucky for a day or so now. I'm hoping it starts soon because I feel a little bloated.

Overall, the working week went much better for me this week than it did last. The only slip up in the grand plan was last night. My hunny had an injured arm he was resting and we were running late so we had pizza for dinner. Now, we didn't have one of this really meat laden, cheesey specials delivered to us (although my mouth is watering a little bit thinking about that idea), we had a frozen pizza. Well, it wasn't frozen, we heated it up (ba-dum-bum!) and I enjoyed it but it wasn't as "calorie friendly" a meal as it could have been.

I'm not sure what the weigh-in will show tomorrow. I definitely feel good about resisting the urge to give into foil-wrapped chocolate mini-eggs this week. Particularly the way my hormones have been raging. I'm hoping that I'll show a loss. Bloated and crampy as I feel though, I am not getting my hopes up.

confident

I had another great, on-plan day today. This makes me happy.

TOM is going to start soon, I can tell. This makes me feel slightly crampy and uncomfortable.

Given though, that I've been eating a crap-free diet for a few days now, I'm sure that will help TOM be more manageable. It's been kind of hard on me the past few cycles. I suggest to myself that it's because I'm getting older and will probably be crashing into menopause in the not too distant future. Of course, this is bullshit. I mean, I am getting older and I think about menopause now and then. Too much salt and caffeine is more likely to be the cause of my monthly woes.

Tonight, for dinner, we had a lovely veggie & tofu curry with rice. It was delicious and filling and for about 10 seconds after dinner, I had a craving for those foil wrapped chocolate easter eggs. Fortunately, that craving passed and I forgot all about it until I just typed about it. Nice.

Fortunately, we go to bed pretty early so I shouldn't be tempted by anything too bad for the rest of the evening. I feel like I'm still taking baby steps but so far this week, I haven't stumbled and banged my head on the coffee table. It's a start, right?

on course

so far, so good.

today my eating has been 100%, totally on track so far.

tonight we are dining at home so I suspect that I should able to finish the day as it started.

I actually got outside for a little walk today. The weather has turned suddenly gorgeous so it felt particularly good to get out and into the fresh air.

that's really it. on track, staying the course, being a good girl.

with luck and a little determination, by the weekend, I'll be a slightly smaller girl!

not quite a drumroll moment

...I maintained this week.

I wasn't entirely surprised by this, I wasn't entirely sad. Maintaining a loss is good. I didn't gain back my two pounds. I should have done more in terms of intentional exercise and I should have made more consistent food choices.

I did not do these things and as a result, I did not lose any weight this week.

Over the weekend, I ate too much to compensate. Not smart, I know. But there you go. Blame it on PMS.

By the way, those little mini easter eggs should be outlawed.

sucker

I've always been a sucker for songs with hand claps and lots of "ba dum ba dum" stuff in them. That really has nothing to do with anything but I thought I'd share.

What a week!!

I managed to survive. Actually, I did more than survive. I didn't feel too overwhelmed despite the pace. Since Tuesday, we have executed three events. Only once, at the last one of this week, this afternoon, did I feel overwhelmed. Unfortunately, this was caused by a technical glitch that could have been prevented if I'd brought my own laptop to it instead of using someone else's. Fortunately, it was one of those things that only the folks who are working at the event notice and none of the guests were aware that it had happened.

The first few days of the week I was not sleeping well. The lack of sleep made me more determined to eat during the day because I knew that I needed proper fuel and not sugar or crap, if I was going to get through it all and accomplish what I needed to do. Now, having said that, we did have one dinner out (the buffet on Monday) and I had a lovely, albeit large, lunch on Wednesday (I wasn't supposed to eat at the event but they needed folks to fill a table because a number of guests did not arrive and we had a fully set table sitting empty!). I also had a Dairy Queen blizzard. Most of the time though, I was pretty good. Definitely much better than I have been over the past several weeks. I also spent a lot of time on my feet and did a fair amount of walking, outside in the fresh air. It didn't kill me do this either. Weird huh??

All of these events meant that I had to dress up a little more than I normally do. For two of the three days, this meant wearing dress pants that are definitely too snug around the waist. I'm okay with wearing uncomfortable clothes right now though because they will definitely help me stay on track. So yesterday, when I pulled the one pair out of the closet and slipped them on, I was happy when I didn't have as much of a struggle as I normally do, sliding them over my hips. They aren't loose by any definition but they definitely felt better so I must be heading in the right direction.

Tomorrow I'll weigh in again and I'll see if the chinese / dairy queen hurt me. Right now, I know that I'm in the middle of PMS because my hands feel really swollen and I'm tired and crabby. If I don't show a loss tomorrow, I'll blame it on hormones, if I do show a loss, you'll be the first to hear about it!!

screw you bacon

The other day, I was reading about Denise's pledge to chew her food better. As I read that I realized that I don't chew my food nearly as well as I should and have made a conscious effort to do better. I don't always remember to count but I'm definitely chewing more!!

So this morning, I was working at a breakfast event. It was a buffet meal and they were serving bacon, sausage, eggs (scrambled), eggs benedict, waffles, home fries, etc. All things I love (well I would have avoided the eggs benedict because you know that that hollandaise is from a packet and I live with a French chef who can make the real deal anytime I decide that I'd like to increase my cholesterol that much!). Anyway folks, I chose to have fresh fruit, fat free yogurt and a bran muffin. Aren't I a good girl??

Last night was another story. We are still sticking to our "one meal out a week" thing but last night, we ended up at the Chinese buffet. I did start with a salad and did not have dessert but I know I ate way too much. When we got there, I was starving and I way more than I should have. I know I did because I felt uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.

Today will be much better, it is already actually. I had the good breakfast, I'm currently eating (and chewing carefully) my packed lunch and dinner will be prepared and eaten at home tonight. Control is important for me right now. Really important. I want those pants to be comfortable again!!