best day ever!!

well, best on-plan day so far, this go-round. This LAST go-round. Seriously. I'm never going to be this weight again, you can count on that!!

Yesterday was a seriously kick-ass day for me. I am finding that when I bring leftover-whatever for lunch, it's much more satisfying than my sammich ever was. That's what I've been doing for the past week and it's really good. Last night, I wasn't even all that hungry when dinner rolled around. I hadn't bothered with my mid-afternoon apple snack either. For dinner, this is what I had:



Soup (a big bowl I'll admit) and some unsalted soda crackers. That's a lot less than I would normally eat for dinner and, I wasn't hungry in the evening. It's odd but I'm digging it. Now, lest you think I take photos of all of my meals, I don't, this was just one I took for the "Monday Night Dinner" pool I belong to on flickr.

So the plan seems to be kicking in, finally. I say finally even though it's only been six days. The finally more is about me restarting and restarting and restarting over and over and over again. This time, I really want this, I want to stay on track and I want to become more fit. I even hauled my ass out of bed this morning at 4:25 a.m. so I'd have time to exercise before work (I had an 8 a.m. meeting so I had to be here a little earlier than I normally would). It feels good to be doing this and, except for the little Sunday episode, I'm feeling really in control of myself for the first time in a long time and that's terrific!

ups and downs

As I've often written about, weekends are difficult for me. When I'm working and on a regular schedule, it's quite easy for me to eat in a sensible fashion. This weekend, I was mostly good (Friday and Saturday) and a smidgen bad (Sunday).

On Friday night, after work, we had to visit the LOG and drop some stuff off. We also had some banking and a couple of other errands to do but, upon leaving his place I suggested that we go straight home. Both of us were a little brain dead and fried and I knew that I couldn't face dealing with the bank and the shops. Once we got home, the dinner discussion began. Having shopped the night before, we had lots of healthy ingredients at our finger tips, I'd even pulled some protein out of the freezer that morning. Neither of us felt much like cooking and we weren't even all that hungry, truth be told.

Eventually, we decided to go to our favourite Vietnamese place for some noodle soup and a plate of veggies. They had been closed over the Christmas holidays but we figured that they'd be open by January 6. I was really looking forward to that bowl of soup as we approached the restaurant. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that the lights were out and that they were still closed. Now we really didn't know what to do, I had my choices all mapped out and planned, anywhere else we might end up would totally throw a spanner into my plan, wouldn't it??

As it happened, this wasn't the case. We went to Montana's and each ordered a salad and we split a sandwich and a baked potato (a naked potato at that!). At the end of the day, I was actually under as far as my caloric goals went. Funny thing too, on the way home, I mentioned to my hunny that I was going to have a cookie when I got home, or something sweet anyway. When we finally did get home, I opened the little tin that holds the last few crumbs of my Christmas baking and I closed it back up again. Shocked the hell out of me but it made me feel good. I didn't need anything sweet and I realized that I didn't want it either!

On Saturday, I was super duper on-plan good girl. I made myself a pot of herbal tea to sip on while I read emails. Eventually, I got up and made myself a scrambled egg and a slice of dry toast. I topped the egg off with some black pepper and salsa and even allowed myself a small spoonful of potato salad on the side. It was a really satisfying meal and it kept me going until lunchtime. I had the last of the left-over stir fry and a couple of rice crackers for lunch. In between I drank lots of water and remembered to take my vitamins too. For dinner, we stayed home and my hunny made us his version of pad thai (I had some of the leftovers for lunch today). All in all, it was a very good calorie day. I didn't snack at all, which is a huge deal for me, particularly on a Saturday.

Sunday didn't go so well. I got up and made myself a toasted english muffin with some peanut butter, I also had some cranberry juice and a few clementine oranges. Not bad huh?? Well, for lunch, we ended up at the Chinese buffet. I told myself that as long as I avoided the deep fried stuff, it wouldn't be so bad. It was though, as always, I ate too much. I did skip dessert though, so that's something right?? We knew that we'd not eat dinner last night, having had such a huge lunch. We camped out in the living room, watching a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" marathon while I sorted through a couple of boxes of knick-knacks (oh yes, we're still unpacking!). The whole time I was sitting there, the fat from the Chinese food was doing it's work on me. I couldn't stop thinking about a bag of ruffles that I found in the back of the pantry and that container of low fat sour cream in the fridge. Eventually, I broke down, made up some onion dip and we snacked on the chips and dip for our dinner. I will admit, if it hadn't been in the house, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. But it was and it did and I ate them and they were tasty and now that's over. I'm not excusing it but I am coming clean about it.

So it's Monday again. New week, clean start. On Wednesday, I'll weigh-in and update on the week's efforts. Seeing how I restarted on a Wednesday, I figured I'd restart that "Wednesday Weigh-In" Tradition for myself.

Oh, exercise. As promised, I've continued with the weekday workout thing. This morning I rode 4.64 miles and it wasn't easy. It was good though, I was really feeling it in my thighs and I liked that. The only real exercise I got over the weekend was some shoveling yesterday afternoon after lunch. If I can master the weekday workout thing, eventually I plan to include the weekends too (with stuff that is more recreational) but for now, I'm sticking to my five days a week.

an anniversary

Three years ago today I started on my journey to weight loss. I am pretty sure that I figured I'd be long done and maintaining by January 6, 2006. Who knew huh?? I'm not going to get myself all upset about it, I'm just pointing it out because it was interesting to me.

I'm tired today, really tired. Last night, I didn't feel sleepy when bedtime came around and it took me a while to fall asleep. About three hours later, I woke up. It didn't take me too long to fall back to sleep but still, it was disruptive. I woke up before the alarm went off and desperately wanted to turn the clock off and go back to sleep for, oh, let's say...the whole morning. I didn't do that though. I woke my hunny up, I got into my workout clothes and crawled down to my bike. I say crawl but it was actually just a very slow walk. I was hurting. My hips hurt, my back was a little stiff. I got onto my bike with ease but riding it was quite difficult. I don't know whether the two days of WATP or just the lack of sleep was making this so tough. I ended up riding for only 2.2 miles. I had hoped to ride at least 4 but I just couldn't stay on the bike any longer. I'm not too disappointed with myself though. I still did intentional exercise 3 days in a row, each workday (that I worked) this week. I'm also still journaling my food and generally trying to keep on track. I overate a bit at dinner last night but it's not the end of the world and it certainly won't undo the good things that I've been doing for the rest of the week.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get through the weekend without giving in to temptation. It's always a struggle, Saturday and Sunday but, if I keep busy (or sleep a lot!), I should be okay. Wish me luck and have a great weekend kiddos!!

lovely leftovers

I am eating leftover stir fry for my lunch today. It's delicious and I'm even eating it with some chopsticks I had in my desk. I always keep chopsticks in my desk because I don't really like eating stuff like this with a fork. One of the things I like best about chop sticks is that they tend to slow me down a bit. I mean, I know I could hold the container under my chin and shovel it in, but I don't!

This morning I did WATP (1 mile) again. Two days in a row, is that a roll? Not quite I know but I'll be on one soon. It was hard again, I didn't expect it to get suddenly easy but man, I'm out of shape, seriously out of it. It can happen so fast can't it? Hopefully, by this time next week, it'll be a little easier. I know it's good that my muscles are hurting, it means that I'm working but still, it's tough.

Tomorrow I might take a break from the DVD and get back on my recumbent bike. The work is now done (for now) in the basement. Tonight I'll try to get things a little more organized in the rec room. I really enjoy the bike but I think that this time 'round, I'll keep at the walking DVD too. Just to mix things up a bit.

Eating continues to go well. Never underestimate the value of planning meals and journaling everything you put into your mouth. They are both wonderful things! Eating home is a big help as well. We've made a pledge that the next time we go out for a meal, it'll be for soup. Our favourite Vietnamese restaurant was closed over the holidays so that will be our big treat.

Other than clean eating and two days (in a row!) of intentional exercise, I've got nothing to report. I'll be honest though, it feels way better to have nothing to say when you're on plan than it does when you're not.

I can feel my bum

But of course she can feel her bum, I'm sure you're all thinking. I can reach around and touch it (ooh) or just plain old feel the weight of me sitting on it right now. Those things are both true. I'm talking about how much I can feel it when I'm walking, and my hips too. I'm old and out of shape and it's sort of sad.

This morning I got up, strapped on my uniboob-making sport bra and walked away the pounds. I only did the 1 mile WATP and it shouldn't have been so tough. It was though, tough that is. I'm glad I did it though, I really didn't want to. It would have been much more fun and easy to make big piles of toast and slather them up with margarine. Alas, I didn't do this, I walked away some pounds and then ate a nice breakfast, cranberry juice and cereal (with soy milk). Good way to start the day huh?

I am hopeful that a regular routine of exercise will keep me from needing to take those little blue pills. The exercise, and everything else should make me sleepy enough at night, I'm hopeful anyway. I also know that I'm on the right track today. This morning, I've had to run to the loo 3 times. I'm definitely flushing some water out of my system. It's a darned good thing too, I stepped on the scales this morning. I have either gained 3 or 7 pounds. Good record keeping huh?? I'm thinking it's probably closer to the 7. In any event, it's written down and I don't ever want to have to write that number down again. I am still 42 pounds lighter than my all-time-highest-weight-ever in January 2003 but I'm no where near where I'd like to be. Again, I'm trying not to obsess over the numbers but, I'm practical too. I know that seeing a downward progression on the scales will motivate me more than anything else can.

One last note about the whole exercise thing.... I'm very glad that I do my exercise at home, before my morning shower. I've noticed some coworkers coming back from lunchtime visits to the gym and they all look a little frazzled!

last day

I've been quite enjoying the last day of my vacation. I would have liked to have slept in this morning but we've had our handy person in working on the furnace for the past several days so I have to be up and dressed somewhat early (well, early for being on vacation anyway!).

I got ambitious this afternoon and took down what I could of the outdoors Christmas lights. I couldn't do the ones that are strung along the eaves but everything else is in a pile, in the middle of the living room right now. It's warming up and when it's warm enough, I'll pack them all away for another year.

Having Pat (the handy person) here is a little weird. I have to stay right out of the basement because that is where he's been doing the majority of his work (although I have dashed down there when he's stepped outside and thrown a load of laundry in!). I can't go into my bedroom right now either because he's also up and down in the attic (I'm not getting in his way, he's installing beautiful pot lights in our master bath). The one good thing (besides all of the stuff he's doing) is that it keeps me out of the kitchen somewhat. I had breakfast and I've also had lunch but I'm not dashing back and forth, grabbing crackers or making microwave popcorn to snack on. I might be tempted to do these things, out of boredom, if I was home alone today.

Instead, I've been sorting through bills and papers in my office, doing a little laundry when I can and, as I mentioned, pulling in the lights. If I can just keep my hands busy with other things, I'll not have time to think about the snacking. This isn't as much as a problem when I'm at work but whenever I'm home, it's a challenge.

Tomorrow I return to work, back to my routine, get back on track 100%. I'm quite looking forward to it because I always love how I feel when I am on plan. I just have to keep reminding myself of that and continue to push those snacking thoughts out of my head!!

clean up

Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation. Normally, I should have returned to work tomorrow, like most folks will do. Our office was closed on the 23rd though, and because I had already booked that day off as vacation, I had an extra day to use up. Rather than try to squeeze it in later in the month (which, I know would be almost impossible) I just bit the bullet and booked tomorrow off. I don't think that one extra day will make any difference. I know that I'll be swamped when I get back to work but that's okay.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel rested. Over my almost three weeks of vacation, I didn't need to take my little blue pill once. I feel good about that. Now, the exercise, proper exercise, didn't happen over the holidays. I had a few walks here and there, the early part of the holiday was full of shoveling fun but I didn't actually workout at all during the break.

Food, goodness, what is there to say about that? It wasn't good. Cookies were eaten, gooey squares too, let's not forget about the chocolate either, or the cheese. Cheese and chocolate, if these things had never been invented, what would my vices be? They are just such perfectly efficient and tasty ways to transport fat and I will miss them, sort of. I don't intend to cut them out of my life entirely, I just need to reintroduce the concept of balance into my diet. There hasn't been a lot of that just recently. The other day for example, I had bananas sitting on the counter which were slowly getting too ripe. Did I peel them, cut them into chunks and throw them into the freezer for use in future smoothies?? Oh goodness no!! Straight into a batch of banana cake they went. It was delicious but not the healthiest way to enjoy over-ripe bananas!

Last week, because both of us were feeling under the weather, we didn't get out to do as much visiting as we normally would so I had mounds of Christmas baking leftover. My first thought was to throw it out. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to do that, to just chuck away perfectly good, hand made treats. The second thought I had was to freeze it but you know, that wouldn't work. Frozen treats are almost as delicious as thawed ones!! Instead, I packed it all up this morning and took it over to the LOG at the nursing home. He was happy to get it, he'll share it with his buddies and goodness knows, they can use it a lot more than we can!

Fortunately, once the cookies were removed, the rest of what is left in the house wasn't so bad. I need to make a run to the grocery store tomorrow, to pick up more fruit and some salad stuff. Our freezer is full of frozen berries and we have lots of soy milk stocked up for smoothies. We have lots of cereal in the house too. I'll start brining my lunches to work again and we've decided to keep dining out to a minimum. This was something that we actually stuck to over the holiday so at least one good food related thing started over the break.

I want to continue to feel rested and good about myself. I have made a promise to myself this year, to take more time for myself, to be kinder to me.

In 2006 I promise:

to make smarter food choices

to journal my food in fitday, every day

to exercise, 3 to 5 times a week, every week

to take my vitamins and drink plenty of water, every day

to take one, 30 minute bubble bath, every week

to take time for myself and do my nails and give myself facials (in general, treat myself to more "girlie" things -- which I love!) every week

to write in this journal, every weekday

I figure that if I can stick to these things, I'll feel better about myself, I'll be less stressed, I'll get fit and I'll definitely lose some weight. Goodness knows that I need to do all of these things. While I'll be sure to report on numbers (inches on the measuring tape, pounds on the scale), I'm not getting myself all wrapped up in numbers this year. Instead, I will focus on a vision of a healthier, leaner me, sitting here one year from now.