hello!

I'm still here, really.

In the end, I was off work for almost two weeks. I went back to the office last Monday (April 17) and have been busy busy busy ever since. I took the last of my anti-biotics on April 15 but still feel like they are in my system. I'm eating lots of pro-biotic enriched yogurt and slowly, am getting back to normal.

Every few days, I hop on the scale and am relieved to see that I'm maintaining through all of this. I wouldn't say that I've been paying much attention to my food intake and haven't had the energy or lung capacity to do any intentional exercise (does laundry count?). I still feel like I have a really bad cold but it's so much better to just feel lousy than completely crappy (like I did when I had bronchitis).

So this is just a "hey, I'm still alive" check in. I hope that you're all doing well. I've been missing out on my blog reading but hope to get caught up on it soon. Have a great week everyone!!

drugs are good, m'kay?

So today is day three of my anti-biotic course. Fortunately, so far, I'm not experiencing any of the side effects my doctor warned me about. I'm pretty sure that they have started to work because my chest feels a little looser sometimes. I have actually been able to get some sleep for the past two nights as well. This is a huge improvement after several nights of almost no sleep.

I had completely forgotten about how this thing just kicks the shit out of you. Just walking from the bedroom out to the living room can wind me, as can moving around in the kitchen, making tea or whatever. I also have these coughing fits that just take my air away. I can't imagine how difficult it is for someone who has to live with this kind of situation all of the time.

Basically, I'm resting all day, taking it extremely easy although trying not to sleep too much during the day as it just screws up my nights. I still feel like complete and total crap but I know that eventually, I'll get better. The waiting is hard, as is all the coughing. Sorry to be so whiney but when you're stuck in the house like this, it isn't exactly fun or exciting. Hope you're all having a good weekend so far though. Stay healthy!

stuffed update

Yesterday I was able to see my doctor and she confirmed that I do indeed have bronchitis. I'm going to be home until probably Wednesday, when the course of anti-biotics I'm on finish. She mentioned that I'm really contagious. I also feel really crappy. Last night though, for the first time in several days, I got a decent sleep. I was only up two or three times, instead of once an hour all night long (and then being up and out of bed, restless at 3 a.m.).

The only really halfway decent thing I can say about all of this is that my appetite has been affected and I think I've lost a couple of pounds this week. Of course, that could just be fluid from all of the coughing, nose blowing and peeing I've been doing this week.

So, just wanted to quickly update here, I'm heading back to bed. Hope you all have a nice springy weekend.

from dry to productive

All day yesterday I had a dry, painful cough. Today, I have the painful cough but it's productive, if you know what I mean. That's right, a chest cold. Fun times for me huh?

Right now, I should be at a "pity party" lunch for one of my coworkers (her husband was just deployed to Afghanistan last night)but I begged off. I barely dragged my butt into work this morning, they surely didn't need me barking all over them while they ate.

I know I'm sick because of the stress of everything. LOG is still in the hospital, I'm still swamped with work from my old job, still trying to find my groove with the new one. It's a lot and I'm not surprised that I'm sick. Last week, by the end of the week, I was totally exhausted. By Sunday though, I felt sort of normal again. Of course, the cough started yesterday so I guess that was the calm before the storm.

Of course, good sometimes comes with the bad, doesn't it? I have almost no appetite. I will get hungry but the thought of food makes me nauseous. I make myself eat but it's not a lot so that's good. Right now though, I'm not overly concerned with the scale, I just want to have clear lungs and a non-sore throat again.

it's a start

I can feel the beginnings of a cold right now. All morning, I have had a dry cough. It's annoying me and making me think that I'm getting a cold. It also means that if it keeps up, I may not be able to go see LOG in the hospital. This is not good.

On other hand, I have begun to journal my food again. My breakfast was a little larger than it should have been and, with the time change and all, I didn't get up in time to exercise this morning but, good or bad, I'm going to journal my food. It always helps and is, for me anyway, a kinder and gentler way to ease back into being good myself. Also, we spent some time outside yesterday, walking by the water and taking photos. I didn't break a sweat but it did feel good to get outside and into the fresh air for a change.

As always, when I restart, I take baby steps and hope for the best. I know that restarting is better than giving up, always...so, here I go again!

bad weird feeling

There are good weird feelings and bad weird feelings. Yesterday, I experienced some extreme weirdness.

Work was extraordinarily tiring yesterday. Our team had booked a spring cleaning day as our storage cupboards were a mess and we had a tonne of old printed material that needed chucking out. It was a lot of work, grimy and sweaty, but our storage areas all look terrific now, really, like a new office. We're planning to rearrange the furniture once we can book movers to help us. We all felt good about accomplishing so much but by the end of the day I was completely exhausted. I was really dehydrated, despite drinking lots of water all day. My ankle was still bothering me and I was really warm (it got up to 20 degrees here yesterday).

After work, we went over to the hospital to see LOG. When we got to his room, they were taking him for a procedure so we couldn't really visit. They told us that he'd be gone about 30 minutes and that we could wait if we wanted to. We both know that 30 minutes in a hospital, particularly on a Friday, could be 45 minutes or an hour. We told him that we'd go do some errands be back later. As we walked toward the elevator, I told my hunny that I didn't think there was any way that I could come back, I felt that lousy. As we waited for the elevator, I got really antsy. I was dying for a drink of water, felt overly warm and couldn't wait to get out of there. It didn't help that there was literally no air in the hospital, I suspect because it was so warm outside. My hunny suggested that we take the stairs and I practically ran down them, sore ankle and all.

Once I got outside, I immediately felt better. We went home and I drank two large cups of water. I still felt a little fuzzy but we had to go to the bank so we went back out again. After the bank, we had one other stop to make. I was feeling a little bit better but was really starving. We decided to stop off for something to eat and then we'd have the going-back-to-the-hospital discussion. Dinner took much longer than we'd anticipated so we never did make it back down there. We called LOG though so all was well in the end.

I don't remember a time when I was more happy to get home than last night. I think that I'm just overtired. Of course, this morning, I was wide awake at 5 a.m. so, so much for sleeping in. We both just have so much on our plates right now, it feels like too much. Between all of this business with LOG, both of us being really busy at work, and then all the regular day to day things that you have to do around the house, we're both running at full capacity. I'm not sure exactly how much longer we can keep up this pace.

For the past couple of weeks, I've made excuses about not having enough time to exercise, because of all of this stuff. I've made a vow to myself to start again on Monday. I know that if I can squeeze in, even 20 minutes in the morning, I'll have more energy and I'm sure I'll cope with this whole situation better. I'm just sorry that it took me having a real freak out in the hospital to inspire me to get my ass in gear again. I feel really tired and really fat right now and I don't like it. I much prefer to feel good about myself, rested and confident, and who wouldn't, right?