foggy headed

I really didn't want it to be Monday this morning. The weekend was so much fun that I didn't want it to end. The humidity broke yesterday, briefly, and we had a gorgeous day. I can't remember the last time I spent so much time outside. Over the weekend I actually got a pretty yucky sunburn but it wasn't as horrible as some I'd had in the past. I just keep slathering on the moisturizer and hoping for the best. At the moment, my body is at work but my mind keep drifting. I'm getting stuff done but it's requiring that I concentrate a lot more than normal. The sunshine is hugely distracting. All I want is to be at home right now.

Foodwise, except for the extra granola bars on Friday night, I kept on plan all weekend. It wasn't easy and several times I found myself entertaining thoughts of bad things. Fortunately, I was able to push them out of my head. Recently, I watched a weight-loss program on Discovery Health and a nutritionist told her client to think before she ate. She said that if you ask yourself, "Am I hungry or am I just bored and want to eat?" you might stop yourself from eating unnecessarily. She was right, if I'm hungry, really hungry, I go get a piece of fruit but many times, I would ask myself and realize that I was just bored. Neat trick huh?

So, the weekend was full of outdoor activity and healthy food. Cool huh?? Here's a photo of my lunch from Saturday:

weakness

Last night, for the 3rd night this week I think (maybe 4th), we had salad for dinner. It was super delicious, and it had a gorgeous grilled salmon fillet on top. Yum.

About 45 minute after dinner though, we were both looking at each other and we knew we wanted something but didn't know what it was. My theory was that we were probably both craving something starchy because we haven't had any rice or pasta all week.

We both decided that a nice, whole grain granola bar would probably do the trick. I hadn't had one all week so the idea really appealed to me. When I opened the package, I thought, "hey too bad I don't have any chocolate to dip this in." Of course I was joking, partly, the other part of me is heading into serious PMS (I really didn't get my period the other day). The granola bar was good but not terrific. In the end, I had three (the first one and then two of a chewy variety that we had in the cupboard that I hadn't tried). It definitely put me over in the calorie department, having those other two bars, but not by too much. It also wasn't a bag of family-sized chips or a pound of chocolate. When I sat down to calculate it all out on Fitday, I realized that I'd been under by calorie goal by about 150 calories all week so an overage of 200 wasn't too bad.

What this does mean though, is that I'll have to keep myself busy today, and perhaps try to work more grains into my diet so that I don't get that "hey I need something" feeling in the evening.

big hurdle

Weekends are difficult for me when I'm trying to stay on track. I've said this time and time again and it might be true for you too, during the working week, when you're in a relatively strict schedule, it's much easier to plan meals and keep on plan. I'm looking forward to the weekend, to have two days off and just chill out and rest up but part of me dreads it too. The part of me that likes to mindlessly snack, loves the weekend. Fortunately, the kind of shitty stuff that I'd normally eat during mindless snacking is not in the house. That does make it tougher to indulge in, doesn't it?

I hope that given how perfectly on plan I have been all week, the good will I've established with myself will spill over into the weekend. If the weather cooperates, I plan to do very little except for some household and hanging out in the backyard. I have really enjoyed spending time in our little pool. One of the biggest benefits of it is that you can't eat while you're in it, well I can't anyway. I'm hoping to spend my weekend either floating around on the floaty thing we bought or on the deck, with a book in my lap. If the humidity actually breaks, I'll get some walking in. Wouldn't that be nice?? To walk outside without panting from the heavy air? Yeah, I sure hope it works out like that.

If I'm lucky, I'll just stay on course because I'm not craving junk and I won't have to white-knuckle my way through Saturday and Sunday. Wish me luck kids!!

it's not the heat

The air quality around here sucks right now, like really sucks. If the air were any thicker you'd be able to see it. No wonder I can't get my self together to walk outside for exercise. The air conditioning in the house makes it comfortable but not so much that I feel like exercising there either. Thank goodness for our little splashy pool or I wouldn't be moving anything at all. Tonight we're heading off to our favourite produce market again. After dinner is turning out to be a good time to do errands. We're refreshed and the sun has gone down a bit so it's not as hard to be out and about. Shopping every couple of days for fresh food instead of once a week is working out much better for us.

I haven't let the heat allow me to indulge on sugar filled popsicles or ice cream this week instead of eating real food. I can usually sway myself off path with the lamest of excuses but I'm holding strong this week. In all seriousness, going straight home after work, hopping in the pool to cool off and then eating has really curbed my evening appetite. Evening snacking has been a big issue for me in the past, I'm always happy when I can avoid temptation. So far, so good.

wednesday wrap-up - week 1 (again)

This morning I packed my lunch as normal. I didn't eat it in the long run though as I had an unexpected opportunity to go home for lunch. My hunny was supposed to work today but ended up not working so he picked me up at mid-day and we went home for lunch. I actually a lot less that my normal packed lunch but I wasn't hungry this afternoon. I'm guessing that this is probably because of the weather. I don't normally take a break either, I'm an eat-at-my-desk kind of girl so, when I got back to work, I really didn't want to be there, the break was too good.

My sleeping is off and I'm feeling off-kilter (not to mention stupid) from the humidity. The weird thing is that our house is air-conditioned and very comfortable. I'm not sure why my sleeping is so messed up this week. I'm guessing that it might be caused by the strange atmospheric pressure. Also, it seems like my period might have started early. When I got home at lunch, I was a little spotty. That sometimes happens to me towards the end of when I ovulate but later on the day, it was more like my period had started. It was a little late last month so maybe it's just sorting itself out. Either way, it was a little bit of a surprise and could possibly explain the weird sleeping thing.

Anyway, what you've all been waiting for (right!) ...Here it is again...My weekly wrap-up:

summary - week ending July 25

• because it's really fucking hot here right now, the only intentional exercise I have done (about 5 days out of 7) is in our new pool. While in the pool, I've done some resistance work. Also, not that I'm making excuses but this is a fact, my back was "out" for almost the entire week. Next week should be much better on the exercise front, especially if the humidity breaks and we can get to some outside walking
  
• I took my vitamins 7 out of 7 days this week - I even remembered on the weekend!
  
• met daily water intake goal all week! The heat sure helps to motivate me to keep my liquids up.
  
• I have successfully avoided carbonated beverages for the last 5 days!!
  
• I have not eaten any after-dinner snacks at all for the past 5 days.
  
• continued to post here every work-day since my re-start (I know it's only been three days but it's a start!)
  
• tracked every morsel of food I've eaten, at fitday - good and bad. Honesty is not always fun!
  
• I am officially down 4 pounds from my last weigh-in. I'm really pleased about this and I know I'll be able to keep the downward momentum when the exercise factor kicks in.
  

Oh, here's a photo of last night's dinner, bbq'd nut burgers and grilled veggies, yum!!

brutal honesty

One of the ways that I can allow myself to get thrown off track is by lying to myself. By not recording what I'm eating, or not thinking about it in general, I can eat extra slices of toast or binge on chocolate and not feel badly about it. For the past couple of days, I've been entering every morsel of food that I'm eating into Fitday. This works for me, record keeping, generating pie chart (mmmm...pie). If I have to think enough about what I eat to honestly record it there, I'll probably put good stuff into my mouth. So far so good, even when I think I'm over doing it a bit, it turns out okay. Thinking about it is what is important for me.

I'm actually quite proud of what we've accomplished over the past few days. We're both eating probably as much in volume as we were before but the content is much better. Last night, for dinner, we had massive salads for dinner. We split a tortilla to have with it and sprinkled a small amount of goat cheese on top. The meal was fresh, crunchy, delicious and, most importantly, satisfying. We ate a little later than we normally do and that worked out well because I didn't feel like snacking afterwards. At the end of the day, I didn't feel bloated or yucky for a change. It seems like my body is slowly detox-ing and I think that's down the fresh food we've been eating. Sorry if this is tmi but I've been in the bathroom a little more than normal over the past couple of days and I think that's good too.

Last night, I pulled out my weigh-in spreadsheet for the first time in a couple of weeks. At the beginning of the year, from January to mid-March, I lost 22 pounds. The week LOG went into the hospital, I started gaining again. By the time I started my holidays on July 7, I had gained back the whole 22. Rather than be totally disgusted with myself though, I'm hoping that tomorrow when I weigh-in (back to Wednesday weigh-ins again), I'll have dropped again. I did step on the scales during my vacation and I was down a little bit but I didn't record it so it doesn't count. Tomorrow will though and so will next Wednesday, and the Wednesday after that...you get the picture I'm sure.

There are 22 weeks left in 2006. If I can stick to my guns and lose 2 pounds a week, I'll be 44 pounds lighter by New Years. I like the feeling of working toward something, rather than just passively riding the sofa and filling my face. I also like the idea of feeling lighter and having more energy and just generally being healthier. Nothing bad can come of this, it's all good.

back, from outer space

I returned to work this morning after a two-week vacation. Part of the reason that I didn't post here during that time was that I just needed a break from this too. Now, it might seem a little cheeky to take a break when I really hadn't been posting much recently but I needed to do some work on my head and quite frankly, sometimes this blog is distracting to me.

While we were on holidays, my hunny was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. While this was upsetting to both of us, it was not a total shock. His mother and his fraternal grandfather were both diabetic. It's always surprising though, to hear it "officially" as it's not nice news. I've remained upbeat about it because, frankly, I think he's been "pre-diabetic" for a while now. His body has never processed large amounts of sugar well as long as I have known him (almost 7 years).

Over the past few days (he found out on Thursday and is awaiting an appointment with a nutritionist) we've both been reading up on it. I explained to him that if we follow the same eating plan that we were on back in 2003, it's pretty much perfect for what he needs: low fat and good carbs only. Yesterday, we hit the produce market and, in addition to picking up stuff for healthy meals, we stocked up on all kinds of stuff that we had let fall out of snacking situation: celery, carrots, apples, blueberries... Good stuff, yummy things that we both love and that are good for us.

So the past few days were transitional. We've been planning out our meals again and have reduced our portions significantly. The funny thing about this is that I haven't been feeling starved or deprived. I allowed myself one last "kick at the can" so to speak, over the weekend. I indulged in some really fresh bridge mixture. That should do my chocolate cravings in for a good long while. My hunny was good; he treated himself to some smoked almonds. He's adjusting to the new situation.

He's still feeling a little shell-shocked and numbed by the news. I keep telling him, and his doctor told him this too, that by this time next year, he could have it totally under control with diet and weight loss. We both have set a goal of 2 pounds loss per week for now. We know that this is realistic and achievable. The next step, now that we have our heads around the nutritional aspects of the plan, is to figure out a fitness regime. While we were on holidays, we purchased a small inflatable pool for our backyard. Last week, we were in a lot and while we did float around on an air mattress for part of it, we also did things like push-ups (the water is only 30" deep) in the water and other little exercises. Walking is something that we will do together and I am thinking about investing in an exercise ball. We still have our recumbent bike and that will definitely play a roll but I really think that we need to mix it up a bit and to figure out stuff that we can do together. Riding that bike can get boring but if we keep things fun, we'll have a better shot at sticking to things.

So yeah, I'm back here. Back for the long-haul. Back on plan again and planning to get back to my weekday posts right here.

housekeeping

I've been tidying up around here a little bit. It probably looks a little stark after the stripes but I just felt that I needed to change things for a little bit.

If you notice that anything isn't working properly or seems odd, please let me know and I'll sort it out. Also, I've added moderated comments (thanks blogger) because I've been getting a lot of spam in my archives.

blobbity blob blob

hello.

I'm feeling slightly less blobby than I did at this time last week.

At this time last week, just as our long weekend started, I was feeling really bad about myself, I felt fat (still do actually) and generally unhappy about the way things were going. Over the long weekend, I tried not to think about things too much. I knew I was PMSing and thinking about how ill-fitting some of my clothes were was just too upsetting.

Instead, I just enjoyed the weekend. The previous week had been exhausting, actually the previous month had been. Worn out, overtired, yucky. That's how I was feeling. Part of that was hormonal but part of that was the fat.

On Monday, we took a spin out to the country, to a local berry farm. We bought a big basket of fresh strawberries. Something about having fresh berries to eat all of this week helped me get my shit back together. Now, TOM came on this week, like a bitch. I've been feeling a little wonky but we've definitely been eating better. At one point, last weekend, I stepped onto the scale. I saw that I weighed exactly the same on July 1 that I did on January 1. That hard lost weight that was gone in mid-February was back. At least, I suppose, it didn't bring any friends with it.

As this week as gone by, and my period started, I dropped two pounds. I don't think that's too bad considering that I did no intentional exercise. It made me feel better, even without the exercise. Tonight, I started my two week vacation. I intend to get even more of my shit together while I'm off. I want to clean the house, clear my head, get my body moving again. Hopefully, when I go back to work in a couple of weeks, I'll have lost a few more pounds and will have re-established my exercise routine. I actually miss how I felt when I was taking better care of myself. I owe to myself to do it again.