brutal honesty

One of the ways that I can allow myself to get thrown off track is by lying to myself. By not recording what I'm eating, or not thinking about it in general, I can eat extra slices of toast or binge on chocolate and not feel badly about it. For the past couple of days, I've been entering every morsel of food that I'm eating into Fitday. This works for me, record keeping, generating pie chart (mmmm...pie). If I have to think enough about what I eat to honestly record it there, I'll probably put good stuff into my mouth. So far so good, even when I think I'm over doing it a bit, it turns out okay. Thinking about it is what is important for me.

I'm actually quite proud of what we've accomplished over the past few days. We're both eating probably as much in volume as we were before but the content is much better. Last night, for dinner, we had massive salads for dinner. We split a tortilla to have with it and sprinkled a small amount of goat cheese on top. The meal was fresh, crunchy, delicious and, most importantly, satisfying. We ate a little later than we normally do and that worked out well because I didn't feel like snacking afterwards. At the end of the day, I didn't feel bloated or yucky for a change. It seems like my body is slowly detox-ing and I think that's down the fresh food we've been eating. Sorry if this is tmi but I've been in the bathroom a little more than normal over the past couple of days and I think that's good too.

Last night, I pulled out my weigh-in spreadsheet for the first time in a couple of weeks. At the beginning of the year, from January to mid-March, I lost 22 pounds. The week LOG went into the hospital, I started gaining again. By the time I started my holidays on July 7, I had gained back the whole 22. Rather than be totally disgusted with myself though, I'm hoping that tomorrow when I weigh-in (back to Wednesday weigh-ins again), I'll have dropped again. I did step on the scales during my vacation and I was down a little bit but I didn't record it so it doesn't count. Tomorrow will though and so will next Wednesday, and the Wednesday after that...you get the picture I'm sure.

There are 22 weeks left in 2006. If I can stick to my guns and lose 2 pounds a week, I'll be 44 pounds lighter by New Years. I like the feeling of working toward something, rather than just passively riding the sofa and filling my face. I also like the idea of feeling lighter and having more energy and just generally being healthier. Nothing bad can come of this, it's all good.