two things

1. cravings... last night, I really really really wanted a buster bar. I did not have one, which is good, but I really craved it. Fortunately, it was super stinking hot and I couldn't bring myself to drive to the DQ in that heat, and add to the pollution, for a "treat" that I didn't need and would later regret.

2. weigh-in... I totally forgot to do it this morning so I have no idea how I've done this week. I feel good though so maybe I'm doing well. We'll see.

the Monday after the weekend before

This weekend was not a total write-off. It's been a very long time since I could say that. We ate out once all weekend and that was breakfast so it was easy to control. I did snack a fair bit on the weekend but it was on fruit or licorice or baked thingys that I can count fairly well. We did not buy any chocolate or take any side-trips to the Dairy Queen. I'd say that was pretty good!

We also did a lot of stuff around the house, physical activity types of things like moving boxes, many many trips up and down the stairs, standing for a super long time doing ironing. Basically keeping off of my butt as much as possible.

Over and over I scream, baby steps but that is what works for me. Even though my pants feel ridiculously tight right now, I think I'm down 2 pounds this week. My official weigh-in day is Wednesday though so I'm not counting until then.

friday, I'm in love

Of course, I was in love last Friday too...and I'm lucky, and I know it.

Having said that, I've not been here all week, it's been a busy week. Short ones usually are. Mine was unusually busy though, due to an event on Wednesday night and then another one I have been preparing for on Monday afternoon. I've had a couple of late nights, a bit of sleeping in to try and make it up and lots and lots of coffee.

Exercise, in the traditional sense hasn't really happened this week. There were no early morning rides on my recumbent. I did, however, walk a fair bit, mostly at work, a chunk of it outside. Eating was kind of up and down. Not entirely horrible but not as structured as I'd like.

The good news is that I've survived the week and am looking forward to a restful weekend. The plan is to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning, primarily at our favourite produce market (somewhere we haven't been to in a while), do one or two other small errands and then spend the rest of the weekend at home. I'd like to just do a small amount of house cleaning, catch my laundry up, do some ironing and chill out with my hunny. We had a DVR full of movies to watch and we'd like to squeeze in some deck time, and maybe a walk or two.

So that was my week. I hope yours was good, hopefully not as hectic but I know that everyone's busy. Happy weekend folks, c-ya on Monday!!

good girls don't

...eat giant sized, amazing looking, delicious smelling chocolate chip cookies when they see them sitting next to the coffee maker at work. Especially when they get into the office at 7:30 a.m. and discover them while putting their healthy lunch in the fridge and making a cup of black coffee.

I guess I must be a good girl too, because I didn't. Goodness knows I wanted to but I didn't.

Let's hope I can keep that up all weekend, all long weekend...wish me luck, and have a very happy long weekend kiddos!

down a quart

Today, I'm still groggy. I'm not sure why because I've had two decent nights of sleep but it's true. Part of the problem could be that I'm still feeling dragged out from the anti-biotics. Recently, I've been taking pro-biotic supplements and eating lots of "bio best" yogurt but I still have mild symptoms. It's kind of crappy and I think that's why I'm feeling like I have had no energy over the past couple of days. I'm not sure how much longer it'll take to restore my good bacteria but given how potent the anti-biotics were, I'm guessing it'll be a while yet.

Work seems to be getting better. It's still all very busy and there are still a lot of things that I'm learning in the new job but I'm starting to feel a smidgen more organized. This morning, I took about 45 minutes and sorted through papers on my desk (only because I'd lost something - luckily, I found it and I got a lot of stuff sorted out). I think if I can find 45 minutes each week, I'll be able to get all of my old files cleaned out and my new ones set up by the middle of June. Optimistically, I've even booked some vacation time.

On the food front, things have been okay this week. I've definitely upped my water intake and I'm thinking about things before I put them in my mouth. Sometimes I still put them into my mouth but at least I think about it before hand. Like the other evening, I really wanted a salty crunchy snack. I found some baked crunchy snack food and munched on that. See, baby steps. Baked not fried is a baby step!

This morning, I could not get going and did not ride the bike. All week, by the end of the day, my legs have been really crampy and sore. I'm guessing it's partly from the reintroduction of exercise to my muscles and partly from the bacteria issue. Whichever the case, I gave myself permission to have a day off. Tomorrow, I shall ride again!

quick one

I rode again this morning.

I didn't feel like it, the lack of sunshine made it really hard to get going this morning. I did it anyway.

This week feels like a struggle. I'm not looking for sympathy or words of encouragement (or, friendly advice) I'm just saying: a - it's hard, b - I'm tired and c - I wish that I didn't have to do this.

The bottom line is that a - duh!, b - suck it up and c - no kidding.

riding...

So I was up early again this morning. Again, I dragged my sad butt down to the recumbent bike and again I rode. This time, I got a little further than I did yesterday but I kept to the same amount of time (15 minutes). All day yesterday, I was really aware of my hips and thighs. I mean, I always know that they are where they are supposed to be but yesterday they were telling me. This morning, they were hollering at me too. I know that this is good and that two days of intentional exercise, in a row, is good too. Slowly, I'll build myself back up as far as length of time goes, I'll also reintroduce weights into my regime. Right now though, I'm happy to report that I've done something good for myself, two days in a row.

just like starting over

This morning I was awake before the alarm. My alarm generally goes off at the crack of insanity.

I hopped out of bed, left my hunny snoring away. I pulled on my long over-looked workout clothes and dragged my fat ass down to the basement.

I climbed onto my somewhat dusty recumbent bike, found an episode of "Bromwell High" on the TV and started riding. I won't say that it was easy, it wasn't. I realized that it had been over 2 months since I'd had my butt in the saddle. I lasted for 15 minutes, rode 3.44 miles. I was a sweaty mess when I was done. I did some stretches, while Bromwell finished and was upstairs, making coffee by 5 a.m.

Sick or what?

I've now got my lunch packed for work, I've eaten my breakfast, showered, and am ready for work. Tough as that quick ride was, I feel good about it. It felt good to be doing it even though it was hard. I keep reminding myself that it takes hard work to lose this weight. I have to lose it, I'm sick of giving into the crap. Over the past couple of months, between LOG's illness and my bronchitis and family crap, we've just given ourselves permission to be pigs and it's over now. I tried on a bunch of stuff on the weekend, during a shopping trip to the states and I hated the way everything fit me. I felt gross, I don't think I looked good in anything really and I don't like that. It wasn't so long ago that I was feeling good about the progress I was making. I'd lost 22 pounds during the first couple of months of this year. I gained back 12 of them over the next two, I can't keep that up. I need to lose the 12 again and then get really serious about the rest.

Seriously serious.

missed it

I never did get around to posting yesterday. I'm not beating myself up about it though, I'm not beating myself up over anything anymore. It's not productive.

Tonight, we're going to see my folks and have dinner at their place. I'm not sure what's on the menu but I'm sure it'll be calorific and there will probably be birthday cake involved (my birthday is tomorrow).

Knowing us, the whole weekend will probably be an explosion of decadence but honestly, on Monday, new year, new start, no bullshit. I'll start tracking stuff again. I'll make an effort to exercise regularly again. I'll get my act in gear. I'll do it my way and it'll work.

hot

this is totally unrelated to health, or weight loss but it's hot here. Not springy and lovely, not breezy and warm like it's been. It's hot and humid and 30 minutes ago, we had to turn the air conditioning on.

To quote the Undertones, "here comes the summer!"

Yikes.

I forgot

...I'm also going to try to remember to post here every day, even if it's just something silly (like this).

I can't imagine that I'm going to get much done today, I have a bunch of meetings at work, and we have errands to fun after that...

I can report that I did squeeze a little walk in yesterday and I definitely increased my water intake yesterday. I'm also taking a mitt-ful of vitamins in the morning and am working really hard at feeling better. The sooner all of the after-effects of my bronchitis are gone, the happier I'll be.

Happy Tuesday kiddos!!

monday

Okay, I'm going to ease myself back into things this week.

Here are my goals:

1. Walk, at least 3 times this week
2. Water, drink lots of it, or at least more of it than I have been recently
3. Eat, better stuff, more fruit, less toasted bread products

These aren't going to kill me, as I said, easy, right? Next week, I'll set three more goals and hopefully, by the end of the second week, I'll feel really good about things, and be happy to get back on track.

Wish me luck!!

baby steps

I'm not yet at a point where I'm journaling food again, or planning out my exercise routine but we did eat at home this weekend, that's something huh? It might not seem like much but it really is. I want us to stop eating out so much for a couple of reasons. The first one is that it's really not good for us. As carefully as you might try to order, it's not the same as at home, is it? Also, it's quite expensive, or it can be. It doesn't take long to add up and I've got us starting on a serious financial diet so cutting back on dining out is good for both things.

I did pick up some pro-biotic supplements on Friday night and I'm feeling better for it, not totally normal but much improved. TOM is right around the corner too, could start any time now, so I've got that going on. Fun times huh? My back was on the fritz yesterday too. I woke up all doubled over. Ordinarily, when this happens, it's a result of stress (and last week was very stressful for me). My normal routine is to crawl back into bed and get onto the heating pad. Yesterday, I kept moving around, slowly, sitting when I had to, but I never took to the heating pad. I felt so much better for it today. I'm still a little fragile but greatly improved. I guess the heating pad thing was all wrong. Who knew huh?

On an up note, we had a couple of landscapers here today and they cleaned up our yard. There was some big stuff that needed to be dealt with, projects that we never got to last summer, after we moved in. We had a couple of young lads come over for a few hours and do what would have taken us 2 or 3 weekends to accomplish. It looks really nice and it feels good to scratch one thing off of my to-do list!

hey

I can't believe that it's been so long since I've posted here. In my old job, I'd actually take a break at lunch time and I'd use part of that break to write. I'm still doing some double-duty so I don't actually get a break right now. I mean, I could take one if I wanted to but I'd have to get right out of the office and I'd feel bad about it. That's my issue, I know.

It's been over 2 weeks since I stopped taking my anti-biotics and I'm still feeling the side-effects. I feel absolutely gross right now. I was okay for a while - as long I kept eating the pro-biotic yogurt. A few days after I stopped, I realized that I wasn't over the worst of it. I'm back on it but I think I'm going to go to the drugstore tomorrow and get some supplements or something. This has got to stop. So does the coughing. It's still there, bugging me. I'm a whiner, I know. Sorry.

So, other than work and feeling yucky, not much is happening. I'm definitely not losing any weight and I haven't dug my summer clothes out yet. That will be the big test I suppose, when I see how all that stuff fits. The truth of the matter is, it bugs me that I don't seem to care about it, so I guess I must care. I am just so busy with work, and then on top of that, really not feeling anywhere close to 100%, that I can't concentrate.

One of these days though, I'll wake up and kick myself in the ass, in the meantime, I'll just muddle through.