back at it

so rather than being all morose and mulling over all of the mistakes I made in 2006, I'm putting it behind me.

last week, I was still on vacation, today was my first day back in the office. over my extended vacation, I had a lot of time to reflect on 2006. it was an incredibly stressful year for me, for a number of reasons:

1. LOG was very ill for the whole year and passed away in September.
2. I started a new job in March.
3. From January to June, I was basically doing two jobs at the same time.
4. From August until November, I felt as if I was drowning at work.

fortunately, I survived it. right now, I weigh exactly the same that I did at this time last year. during January and February, I was able to drop around 19 pounds. of course, when LOG took his bad turn in March, I took to stress eating at the weight came back on. somehow, I didn't balloon back up to my official start weight from January 2003. throughout 2006, I kept that 37 pounds off.

for 2007, I have some goal/resolutions that I have made and so far, I've been able to stick to them:

1. dining out - restricted to one meal a week (this will help our finances as well as our waist-lines)

2. stress - I'm dealing with it better. This year, I will allow myself to ask for help when I need it. I realized in 2006 that asking for help when you need it takes a lot more courage than killing yourself trying to do too much does. at times, I was afraid that I'm seem weak if I asked for help. I have learned about knowing when to ask for help and how to do it. of course, you realize that I'm talking about the office here, not home. when LOG passed away, most of our at home stressed died with him.

3. listen to my body. I am eating when I'm hungry. I am giving my body what it needs, not what it wants. I think I know myself well enough at this point to understand the difference.

4. baking. I'm baking cookies and bread for us to eat in the house. I will not bring store-bought bread or cookies into the house. I feel better about eating both (traditionally "diet-er's taboo" foods) when I know exactly what's in them. I realized over the holidays that when I am eating my home baked cookies, I don't eat as many of them as I do when they are bought at the store. I think that all of the chemicals and crap that are in the boxed variety just make me want them more. not unlike crack, I'm guessing.

5. food choices. we have a kitchen which is fully stocked with healthy snacks and we're back into a routine of cooking and baking again. both of us are really enjoying it and I can already feel the difference in my body since we've been eating better over the past 10 days or so. I'm tracking my meals again in fitday but I'm not being a calorie-nazi to myself. it's really more for me to look for patterns in my eating than anything else.

6. exercise. I have a new routine that I'm made for myself. it's varied, more so than I was doing in the past. I have found some really neat stretching routines that I've started, I found my old exercise mat and bands and my hand weights and my exercise DVD's and have rearranged my living room to give me room to do these things easily. I still have my bike and I will use that for cardio a few times a week. my focus is gaining strength and flexibility. the variety will help me stick with it and not get bored as the months go by.

I know that if I stick to these things, I'll feel better, stronger. I also know that I will likely lose some inches and pounds. all of this is good. I want to be thinner and stronger and feel healthy again. I keep thinking about my long-term goal, the one I've mentioned here before: to be one of those really lovely, old ladies, who walks around the neighbourhood in a pink track suit.