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The promise of a vacation creates a type of inspiration, second to none. This morning, in 20 minutes, I accomplished something that I have been putting off for months now because I was sure it would take me hours to complete. It was an organizational / cleaning / filing project in my little corner of the office. I had boxes everywhere, papers piled up in messy mounds and a drawer that was getting increasingly difficult to close. Now, I'm all organized and tidied up and, should anyone need to find something in my desk while I'm away, they will actually have half a shot at it.

So yeah, vacation. In a little more than 3 hours I'll be off for 10 whole days. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. I started a little of my "pre-company" cleaning ritual this morning. This particular house guest is a single guy so I'm not going to "white glove inspection" level but I did clean up the room he'll be staying in, put fresh linens on his bed (changed our bed) and sorted out some piles of crap that were annoying me. Yesterday, while I was at work, my hunny moved my computer from the spot we dumped in when we moved in to the spot I wanted in. He also sorted through a bunch of stuff that has been just floating around and he fixed some stuff that was messed up on my pc. He also mowed the front lawn and it looks pretty good.

Tonight, I'm going to clean the bathrooms and tomorrow morning I plan to start on the gardening. I have a bunch of weeding to do at the front of the house (and I know that this particular activity will burn a crap load of calories!!). In our backyard, there isn't really any grass, it's just weeds. We can't really mow it so I guess we'll have to get the weed whacker out and clean it up that way. My hope is that if we get our "chores" done over the weekend, we can coast for the rest of our break.

Next week, I'm not sure if I'll be checking in here or not. I guess I'll just see what happens. In any event, have a lovely weekend and stay cool!!

one more sleep

I'm so excited about our week off next week. With the Civic Holiday included, we've got 10 days off. We're now thinking that we might take a couple of days and road trip up to Lake Simcoe but the number one thing on our list is still taking it easy.

Today I'm feeling so terrific, the best I've felt in weeks actually. Considering that TOM is just around the corner, this is pretty remarkable. My hunny has today off from work so we didn't need to get up at 4:15 a.m. I slept in until 6:30 a.m. today!! I felt so rested when I got up, so nice. The humidity is creeping back in but it's not bothering me as much as it was. I'm wondering if a lot of my problems are from us plain old not getting enough sleep through the week. Anything's possible I suppose. I must admit too, with more rest, I'm not finding that I've been having those nagging carb cravings so far today. This morning though, I did break down and buy myself a coffee. I can't remember the last time I had one and it tastes so good. Yum!!

Other than sleep and coffee, there isn't much to report on. Last night, we actually did a little bit of walking. It was warm outside but there was a bit of a breeze so that was nice. Now, most of our walking was in the form of starting and stopping and shopping but it was walking all the same. Slowly but surely, my foot is feeling better and, as long as I wear "good" shoes, the pain is kept at a minimum. What this means mostly is that I'll be okay to do some serious walking when we're on holidays. I can't wait!!

breezy

The humidity finally broke last night. Right now, I can feel a slight breeze through my office window and we were able to turn off our air conditioning. It's still hot here though. I work in a basement of an old building though so I know this breeze and the coolness is artificial. It's hotter than blazes upstairs.

One thing I noticed, as soon as the air cleared, was that my head filled up. The pollution must keep the crap that irritates my allergies down. It's the downside of clean air but I'm not complaining. One of the first things that popped into my head this morning when I woke up was that I had only had "two more sleeps" until we are off for a week's "vacation." We don't have plans to go anywhere but my plan is to relax, eat well, get some exercise, read some books, do some gardening. Basically, I want to putter and pamper myself and end the week feeling rested.

So far, this week has been a bit of a struggle as far as eating goes. I guess it's just pms but I'm craving carbs in a big way, toast, bagels, that kind of stuff. It I know it could be worse and that I could find myself diving head-first into a large bag of doritos. I also know that the cravings are hormonal but that doesn't make it any easier to fight them. I know that I have eaten "too much" the past couple of days and still, knowing it isn't stopping me from doing it. I hate to whine but it's been really really hard recently. I really thought that by July, I'd be well into virgin fat territory and yet, here I sit, still struggling to get back to where I was a year ago. Oh well, /whine. It really doesn't help either that the breeze blowing through my open window is bringing the smell of the chip truck down the hill in with it. aarrggh!

missed

I didn't post anything yesterday because I couldn't think of anything to say. This heatwave which we are currently experiencing has made me brain dead. Even though I'm lucky enough to work in a partly air conditioned building and I sleep in a lovely air conditioned room, the transition in and out of the hot and the cold is killing me. It's not just me either, I see it in all of my co-workers. Folks look tired and cranky. I imagine that in time, a body would adjust to this. I don't mind the heat at all, not one little bit, but the humidity, the thick hot stinky air, gives me a headache. Never in my whole life have I ever seen weather like this. It will not break, it's been almost 3 weeks now I think. It should not "feel like" 98 degrees at 9 a.m., every morning.

The other thing that the heat does is make me want to be lazy. We haven't really cooked much over the past week or so. We've been living on sandwiches and salads at home. Over the weekend, I really didn't pay much attention to what I ate but I know it wasn't good. The only really good thing I can think of is that we didn't eat out at all over the weekend. You know it's hot when it's too hot for us to dine out.

I have still been drinking a lot of water, more for survival than for anything related to weight-loss. Exercise is more miss than hit too. I have been moving a lot of boxes around at home though so, that's something. Boxes of books too, heavy ones. Even though visiting LOG and running errands for him is taking up more time than it did when he was living with us, I'm still trying to get my office sorted out. Once I get the books all unpacked it'll be okay. In the meantime however, it's chaotic.

As you can see, I really didn't have much to say today either but I posted anyway. Hopefully, it's cool and breezy wherever you are. I know I can't take much more of this humidity so I'm hoping for cool and breezy here.

blah blah

How's your Friday going??

Mine has been okay I guess, so far. I say "I guess" because it's not totally terrific. My poor hunny is sick today. He was home all day on Wednesday with a killer migraine and today, he has achey joints and muscles and a bit of a headache. He works outside and I think he's suffering from heat exhaustion. Last night, we both felt kind of crappy after dinner but this morning I felt okay enough to make it in to work, he's not so lucky.

I did sleep in this morning, pretty late for me and as a result did not ride this morning. I did make 4 out of 5 days though so I'm not too upset with myself. Eating continues to be good, the one upside of this heatwave is that it totally kills your appetite, well, mine anyway. I just feel a little off kilter, not sick but not well. I absolutely know that it's because of the weather. Once the humidity breaks, things should be better.

This weekend, we're going to do very little but rest up and, hopefully, feel better. Have a good one!

product endorsement

I eat yogurt everyday, Yoplait fat free "source" yogurt. Recently, they introduced a bunch of flavors with vanilla in them. I'm not a big fan of fake vanilla flavor so I wasn't sure if I'd like them or not. I can say that I LOVE them. They are totally yummy and the vanilla flavor isn't all that fake tasting. I heartily endorse their apple crumble-vanilla in particular!

This week continues to go pretty well. I rode again this morning although foot pain caused me to cut it short by about 5 minutes. Right now, my foot is feeling better but as the humidex rises, it continues to bother me. Eating has been good. I sat down this morning and calculated my calories for the past couple of days and I'm right on track so that's good.

I know that this stuff is boring but a lot of getting back on track is boring. It's not exciting but it needs to be done, eventually, I'll start seeing results again and trust me, that will be exciting!!

too much

There is a such a thing as too much fruit. I think there is anyway because yesterday I may have overindulged. The transition from not giving a shit about what you eat to "being careful" can be tough on a body. Over the past few days, as I've been easing myself back into a more healthy routine, I've been eating a fair bit of gorgeous fresh fruit. I really love this time of the year but my stomach was slightly bothered yesterday. I wonder if it's a combination of too much fruit and drinking gallons of water? I basically had wicked bad heartburn. Today I have cut back on the fruit consumption a bit. Again, I think it's better, if you're going to have heartburn, to have it caused by fruit and not by let's say, barbecued ribs!

In other exciting news, I'm feeling really heavy and bloated right now. I know that this is partly because of the weather. It's still intensely hot here and the humidex is off the chart. My left foot is still pretty swollen but the right one is almost back to normal. My left heel is really bothering me. It's not bad when I'm at home wandering around in bare feet but when shoes go on, or I am getting up after sitting for a period at work, it's very sore. The pain can cause me to walk funny which makes my knee hurt a bit. Fun huh?? Today I'm wearing my doc marten sandals and they are helping in a big way. I hate that, when it's bothering me, this spur makes it almost impossible for me to wear cute shoes. The stupid thing was even bothering me while I rode this morning.

Oh yeah, I rode again this morning. That's three days in a row if you keep track of these things! Overall, even though the humidity is making me feel like a blob, I'm happy about my eating and exercise this week. Imagine how much more "blobby" I'd feel if I was off track! I'm hoping for a big storm to clear the air out. In the meantime, I'm just sucking on ice cubes and drinking lotsa water. Stay cool kids!

steamy

I know that everyone is complaining about the heat but I think we're justified in our whining. It's freaking hot. It's like, inside of the oven hot. I can't remember when we had such a hot June and July is turning out to be even worse. I actually don't mind a hot day when there is a bit of a breeze, this sick, thick humidity stuff is gross though. When the weather is this hot and humid, my ankles have a tendency to swell. Last summer it happened a little bit, on the really bad days; this summer, the past couple of weeks anyway, it's been a regular thing. The only break I had from it was a couple of gorgeous, cool and breezy days we had in mid-June. This week, I'm making an effort to drink even more water than I usually do and be very careful about my sodium intake. It is helping a bit I think.

What helps even more is exercise. I think that part of what I'm seeing in the swelling going down is from my rides. This morning I rode my bike again, for 20 minutes again. It is not coming back easy and almost quit a whole bunch of times. I managed to force myself to stick with it, thank goodness I was watching a taped episode of South Park. If I wasn't laughing so hard I may have been tempted to quit after 10 minutes. I know it'll get easier as I go along, as long as I stick with it. It's hard though, reclaiming ground I thought that I would never have to break again. Remember earlier this year, when I was riding 8 miles in 30 minutes?? I'll get there again I know but it's a long haul. It's okay though, I'd rather be moaning about how hard it is for me to exercise than making excuses for not doing at all.

Slow and steady wins the race, right? Well, maybe finishes it, I don't need to win anything, just finish! I've said it many times and I know I'll say it again, it's all about the baby steps!!

happy monday

For the past two or three weeks, I've used LOG's illness, the hot and sticky weather and just about anything else I could think of as an excuse to get off of my routine.

Not only did I not exercise at all the past two weeks but I ate just about anything I felt like. I'd like to say that more often than not, I made good choices but that's just not true and I know it, I can feel it in my clothes and in the way my body is moving, or rather isn't moving. I feel tired and sore and generally gross and I want it to stop.

This morning, I got my ass out of bed and onto the recumbent. I was really sore and tired by the time I finished my interval program but I was pretty happy that I had gotten a little over 5 miles in. The program I did was 20 minutes long and I did some stretches before and after. The burning in my thighs was good for me though, I felt like I had actually accomplished something this morning. When I stepped on the scales, I really expected that I'd gained 20 pounds or so. I was up over the last time I checked it but it wasn't as horrible as I expected it to be.

Both my hunny and I have decided to ease back into our healthy regime. I'm going to use the exercise room in the mornings, I think he'll use it after work and we've both decided that we don't want to eat out again for a while. Ever since LOG got sick, we've either been eating out or grabbing take out. It's bad for our waistlines and bank balance, it's just an added expense that we really don't need. I think that the more you eat out, the less you enjoy it. If we do it less frequently, it'll feel more like a special occasion for us.

I've started tracking my food again today. Even if I don't stick to a strict number of calories at first, tracking always makes me eat better. I'm getting sick of restarting this thing over and over again but I guess restarting is better than quitting entirely....so, here's hoping that this time next week, I'll have all kinds of good, healthy news to report.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've done one of these so I had better do it, sad as it may be. Here is my latest weekly wrap-up:
summary - week ending July 10

• did not do any intentional exercise at all this week, the same can be said for the week before that too.
  
• I took my vitamins 7 out of 7 days this week
  
• exceeded daily water intake goal 7 out of 7 days
  
• stepped back on the scales again this morning to discover that I'd gained 3 pounds in the past two weeks

checking in

I don't have a whole lot to say today but I want to keep up my pattern of posting on the weekdays. This part of my routine shouldn't change just because everything else is a little messed up.

We saw LOG last night and he seems much better than he was. He's still very frail and weak but he seems to have relocated the marbles he lost earlier in the week and I think he's settling into the routine of the place. A sure sign that he's feeling better is that he complained about the food and wants a phone. He'll have a phone connected on Saturday which should make him happy. His brother and nephew are visiting him today (from out of town) and my mum & dad stopped by to see him last night so I'm sure any feelings he was having that we'd just abandoned him there are fading away. I sure hope so. Neither of us have slept much since he moved to the nursing home. I'm tired but can't settle down and sleep. I think we're both pretty much over tired from the events of the past week. Fortunately, other than visiting LOG and getting a few groceries, we don't have much to do this weekend. We should get rested up if all goes well.

Anyway, in the wake of what's happened in London this morning, hug someone you love and stay safe. Live on this planet just sucks the big one sometimes.

feels like monday

I'm back at work today, for the first time in almost a week. Friday was a holiday, I'd booked Monday off ages ago for an extra-long weekend. We spent Thursday in emergency and then yesterday...well, yesterday was tough.

Emotionally, we're both pretty much feeling like wrecks. Poor LOG is not himself, he's not even the version of himself that was weak but argumentative a few weeks ago. His decline has been so fast that neither of us expect that he'll live much longer, it's that serious. I'm hoping that we're wrong. It would be wonderful if they got him back on all of his medication, if the folks at the nursing home are able to get him to eat and drink again, if he could get and moving around. We'd both love to see the sparkle back in his eyes and not that sometimes vacant, sometimes pain-filled look that we're seeing now. Even if he improved a lot, I don't think he'll ever live with us again. It seems like he'll live out the rest of his days in the nursing home.

Knowing in your head that he's in the best possible place he can be and that the care he's receiving is absolutely top-drawer doesn't really help your guilty heart. The guilt is irrational, of course. We know that we did the best we could for him and when it got to a point (like it has) that we can't look after him and that he can't stay alone in the house while we're at work, that we found him a terrific place to get the care he deserves. Somehow though, knowing that isn't helping me sleep at night. Last night I tossed and turned and just couldn't settle. I keep thinking about how excited he was to move into the new house and how he's not been able to enjoy any of it, not really.

In the meantime, we're going to visit him every night on the way home from work (the nursing home is about 1/2 way between my job and the house) and we're sorting out his finances, pre-planning a funeral, all that fun stuff. The upside of all of this sick crap is that we can pay for the nursing home with a credit card that gives us air miles. It's all about the silver lining isn't it?

Fitness wise: we continue to walk, a lot, in sweltering heat, sweating a fair bit. As far as food goes, it's either binge or starve at the moment. We're either eating too much of food that we know is bad for us or we're not eating at all. It's a bad scene but I did bring one of my "usual" healthy lunches to work today and was actually hungry for it when the time came. I feel like I've been saying "soon we'll get back to normal" for months now. I wonder though, if your life is chaotic, does the chaos eventually become what normal used to be? Maybe someday we'll get back to what I remember normal feeling like. Right now though, it feels like that's going to take us a long time.

still ill

So, we spent another evening/morning in the emergency room with LOG.

On Saturday, he came home and although we thought it was a little too soon, he seemed really happy to be here. Unfortunately, once he got home, we couldn't get him to get out of bed and move around (he was transported here from the hospital by ambulance) and he wouldn't eat or drink as much as the nurses had instructed. This didn't shock us, he hadn't been moving around much or eating or drinking much of anything for the past week or so (which is why we ended up in the emergency room on Wednesday in the first place).

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday. He still wouldn't move and we were really worried. We explained to him that if he couldn't move around, it wasn't safe for him to be home alone when we were at work and that we'd have to pursue some kind of nursing care for him, outside of our home. He promised (he's good at making promises) that he'd get up and move around "tomorrow" and that he was fine.

This morning, we discover him, on the floor of his bedroom, bleeding and disoriented. We make another trip to the emerg via ambulance. Four staples in his head and 12 stitches in his arm later, he's battered and bruised but basically alright. Unfortunately, we no long feel that we can look after him in our home and he's been given what's called a "crisis placement" in a local nursing home. This placement can be for as long or as short a period of time as we need. Because of the nature of this placement, he could have been placed anywhere in our cachement area (which is huge). As luck would have it, he has been given a bed in the best place in town, which happens to be a 10 minute walk from our house. He's being transported there tomorrow morning.

At first, he really didn't want to go. He seemed to think that we were going to just leave him there to die. He told the social worker that he needed some time to think about it (now this from a man who thought he had fallen in the hospital and had been transported to the emergency room by a woman who worked in a bakery that burned down 40 years ago). She asked him how much time he would need and he replied, "um, about 2 weeks." When we explained to him that he would be able to stay there to heal and get stronger and then come back home, he agreed to it. I'm glad he agreed because he didn't really have a choice. We could not bring him home and they weren't going to admit him to the hospital. By this time tomorrow, he'll be settled in and hopefully will be on the mend.

Right now, we're both shattered. I know that this hasn't got anything to do with fitness or any of that stuff but I do feel better for letting out some of it here. I hope that all of my lovely American friends had a terrific holiday today.

Stay healthy folks. Getting old and sick does not look like a party that any one of us want to be at. Trust me on this one.

happy canada day

hey folks.

I haven't been around the past couple of days because we've been spending our time in the emergency room. LOG has been going through a bit of a rough patch since our trip to the hospital last week. By Wednesday night he was extremely dehydrated and under-nourished (we could not get to him to eat or drink much) and was really disoriented from the morphine left his system (and from him taking his regular medication without food) so we were advised to take him to the hospital. Actually, we were advised by the tele-health Ontario nurse to take him by ambulance. She arranged for the paramedics to come and we spent the next 10 hours in emergency, waiting to hear from the doctors about his condition.

Apparently, being disoriented and dehydrated isn't enough to get one admitted so they kept him in the emergency room over night. He is still there now but, I'm happy to report, is coming home tomorrow. Today is the first time in almost two weeks that he has seemed like "himself." Anyway, when I'm less tired I'll write more about it.

Fitness wise, we've been walking a lot but it's just up and down hospital corridors. Meals have been grabbed on the run because our routine has been totally disrupted. Right now, LOG is looking forward to getting home and we're looking forward to him being here. We all need a good rest for a couple of days and with a little luck, we'll get it.

Have a good weekend folks, I'll write more when I can.