good and bad

hey folks.

Whenever I get the paper, I always go immediately to the death notices. This is a habit I formed over several years of working with seniors. It's something that I can't stop doing, no matter how I may try. This morning when I got my paper, I turned to the back as normal and read that a high school friend had died on the weekend. I don't know what the cause of death was but he was a guy who lived hard. He was a sweet fellow who I occasionally reconnected with after high school through mutual friends. We often discovered that we had mutual, non-high school, friends. I haven't seen him in a few years but still felt physically shocked when I read the notice in the paper. The shock was followed by an intense hunger and a blinding headache.

Many of us talk about how difficult it is to cope with emotional eating. This was the first time I ever experienced it in this fashion. Usually, if I'm "eating emotionally," I don't even realize it until it's over. Anyway, when it happened this morning, I realized it was happening, mentioned it to my office mate and let it go. The hunger pangs disappeared, the headache stayed for a bit (it's gone now, I've since eaten my lunch) and I'm okay. I mean, I'm still sad and shocked and a little sick about this but I didn't strap on a feedbag (i.e. doritos!) and chow down.

Ugh. I guess it is possible to see the good in something horrible. Even if it just that I don't have to eat myself silly when I'm upset.