The weekend was very very weird. Weird in a bad way, weird in a "hey, I ingested too much fat" way. I can blame it on a couple of things, if I want to blame it on anything other than me. The first was, of course, "hey you got a new job" celebrations. After work, on Friday, we needed to do a couple of errands. When the errands were done, we discussed going out for dinner but opted to go home instead. As a compromise, we had frozen pizza with salad. Not the healthiest option in the world, I know, but not as bad as going to "the hut."
Yesterday, there was a bit of stress/emotional eating. LOG's other son was in town for a visit, for the day. This guy hasn't visited once in the five years that LOG has lived here. We think he had a loopy phone call with him (because LOG's been a little out of sorts) and he figured that he'd swoop in and grab some cash before LOG dies. Nice huh?? That is the kind of sociopath we're dealing with here. He did not speak to either of us and when he walked into the room, he started telling LOG that he looked terrible. Nice huh? The last time he saw his dad was in May 2002. After we left LOG's, we went straight home.
We both felt sick and numb and horrible. I put my head in my hands and said, "oh goodness but I could eat right now!" My hunny looked at me and said, "what?" I said, "I don't know, one of those piles of temptation food from 'biggest loser'" He said, "but what specifically?" I looked at him and said, "well I will take the Blue team's pile, you can have the red team." We both laughed but didn't feel much better. He was so stressed and distressed that his back went out on him. It was almost mid-afternoon, we'd not had lunch. I grabbed my purse and keys and left the house. I promised to come back with KFC. KFC?!? Luckily, there is a Mr. Sub between our house and the KFC. I pulled in, grabbed us each a sub. I also got some chips and a small container of dip. When I got home, my hunny was sitting in the living room, watching a movie. I asked, "can you smell the hot grease?" He sniffed and said that he couldn't. I swung the sub bag in front of his face and he looked relieved. We had the subs and some chips and a diet soft drink. It was so filling that we didn't eat dinner last night. Even though when I added it up, way too many of my calories came from fat this weekend, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have and I guess that's important.
For the past two weekends, we've had culinary excursions from what has once again become normal / healthy eating. I guess it's all about degrees though. We didn't go nuts and eat a bucket of chicken with sides of poutine. My stomach does flip flops when I think of how bad it could have been. Could have, but wasn't. Overall, averaged over an entire week, it doesn't seem so bad. I know that my good choices outnumber the not so good ones. Even the not so good ones aren't nearly as bad as they once were. I'm learning. What I really look forward to is the day when I don't even think about chips or pizza.
An aside to all of this is a lovely NSV that I discovered this morning. A couple of years ago, when I was on my way down the scale the first time, I bought a pair of pants that were in a size much smaller than I'd wore in years. They were officially the size smaller than what I've been wearing for the past year or so. Now, I think it was a fluke, that they were labeled wrong but still, it felt good to have them in the closet. Toward the end of last year, the waist band had become uncomfortably tight and I would only wear them when I had a sweater on that completely covered my stomach and butt. This morning I pulled them on for the first time this year. The waist band didn't cut me anymore (it felt just right) and I'm not wearing a super long sweater with them. I can't wait until these pants are too big for me. Right now though, I'm enjoying just how good it feels for them to fit!!
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