had to laugh

My mum was talking to my cousin on the phone today. My cousin was explaining to my mum how she was doing the blood type diet and she's only eating organic food. She also told my mum that she's become a vegetarian, oh she eats chicken and fish, but she considers this vegetarian (mmm...when I was vegetarian for 5 years my definition was "no food with a face" but, obviously I was wrong). Anyway, she hands the phone over to her daughter who tells my mum how her mommy just inhaled 3 chocolate easter eggs. Wonder which part of them was organic? I mean, have a treat sure, but get down off of your high-horse when you're doing it.

We survived our big family meal. It was really nice and I didn't go too overboard. I did have dessert but just a small amount. We actually spent more time visiting than we did eating. This is a pretty huge deal for my family as it's usually "eat first talk later." I had a great chat with my mum about fitness and health. She's a great seamstress and I've avoided letting her measure me for the past several years. Today I let her measure me again and she was pretty impressed. I also confessed to her (the only person I've told beside my hunny and my doctor) was my starting weight was. She was quite shocked and, when I told her what I weighed right now, said that I did not look like I weighed that much. I told her that recently, I've been feeling really fat again, as if I'd not lost any weight at all. I know that it's psychological but it's there. I keep having to put on my old (fat) jeans and watch them fall down around my ankles. I have to keep taking off my rings (that I once couldn't take off) and putting them on my thumbs.

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately and, although I tell myself this over and over again, I'm really going to work on not obsessing over numbers. I want to break through this stupid plateau that I've got myself stuck in but it's not just because of the numbers on the scale. I want to build more muscle, I want to feel stronger and more flexible. I know that if this happens, the numbers will go down on the scale and that's totally excellent but mostly, I want to feel better. This week, I'm going to get back on track, 100%. I'm going to shake up my exercise program, I'm going to stick to my eating plan. If I do both of these things, I know that I can see results faster than I have been lately.

Part of the reason I've stalled is because of my head cold. I know that. The other part of the reason though is that I've become complacent. Over the past few months, I've learned how to maintain my weight loss but I don't want to maintain anymore. I want to find some of that enthusiasm that I felt back in January. At the beginning of the year, I told myself that I wouldn't let work get to me, that I wouldn't get stressed out over stuff I had no control over, blah blah blah. Obviously, that was easier said than done because I did get stressed out over work (only because I had NO idea how bad things would get) and over stuff that was beyond my control. I need to pump myself up again and get back to challenging myself. I need to sort my head out. I need to re-read Dr. Phil's book and kick myself, firmly, in the ass. I know exactly what I have to do, I just have to do it!