back to normal

Today, finally, my back feels better, almost normal I'd say. My neck and shoulder are now stiff as a board but I can walk, yay!! I've been doing a bit of walking this week. Well on Thursday and then again yesterday. It wasn't a great huge amount but it made me feel better. Just being about to move around a bit without being in horrible pain was so nice. Today, I walked a bit again this morning. This afternoon, we went to see "Ray" so I've had kind of a lazy day. I still have one load of laundry to get done but otherwise, my plan to be lazy is working out.

After a two week absence, I stepped back on the scale this morning. What with no workouts to speak of except for a little walking, and the overeating I've been doing, I'm up 6 pounds. I'm not thrilled about it but it's just kicked my butt, hard. I'm back on track and will make my best effort to keep my resolve from now until the end of the year. I don't want to use the holidays as an excuse for a 3 week pig out, that does me no good at all. Anyway, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, I'm just going to pull myself out of this funk, concentrate on feeling better and get my ass in gear.

feeling Friday

I'm so glad that today is Friday. It felt like a Friday when I got up. I hate it when Wednesdays or Thursdays feel like Fridays, that totally messes with my head. For a few, fleeting moments yesterday, I pondered taking today off. The moment passed and I'm kind of glad that it did. I'm actually (for the first time in goodness knows when) getting some work done today.

My back feels a lot better today than it did yesterday. By tomorrow I expect to have reached "full recovery." Yesterday afternoon, I had to walk across campus for a class I'm taking. The walk was painful to say the least and I was feeling pretty bad by the time I got to my seat. Almost immediately after I sat down, I realized that I felt good. Not perfect but I wasn't in pain. It was the oddest thing. When I walked back to the office afterwards, I felt pretty good. I had to be careful about putting too much weight on my left foot (because jarring pains shooting into your hip are not fun) but otherwise, it was a huge improvement.

Anyway, workouts and regular meals will resume next week. Right now, I'm doing my very best to avoid eating any of the tiny lovely chocolate bars that are floating around me. I made up 120 goodie bags last night for shelling out on Sunday. I cannot wait to get all of this stuff out of my line of vision. I don't miss it when it's not around but boy, when it's in the house, it is hard not to think about!

slow moving

I'm feeling marginally better today. My back is still stiff but I'm moving around almost upright. It's a start. Obviously, I have not worked out this week yet. I'll make up for it next week when I know that I will be feeling good as new.

Eating has been pretty good the past couple of days. Better than I thought actually. I was able to spend some time with Fitday this morning and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. Don't get me wrong, I definitely ate more than I should have over the weekend but I didn't go as far over as I had thought.

My hunny has been fabulous through all of this. He's been a great sport about doing things like laundry and basically fetching and carrying for me. By the weekend, we should have all of our "chores" caught up and I'll be able to put my feet up and chill. I am really looking forward to that!

didja miss me?

Where does the time go? I'd love to say that I've been away on a fantastic non-stop-fun weekend but I've actually been at home, flat on my back on the heating pad since Sunday night.

We did get to Toronto, I did survive Saturday without too much caloric damage. When we went to bed Saturday night though, I felt like I was getting a cold. The next morning, I could hardly breathe. I was stiff and sore and just generally felt crummy. Eventually, I got up and started to move around. After my shower, my head felt loads better but my back was a mess. It seems like the cold has moved into my back. I've had this happen before, it's not fun.

Sunday afternoon, we were visiting friends and I was barely able to walk around. I knew then that I would have to go home. We weren't scheduled to go home until Monday but there was no way I could make it. Anyway, we got in at around 10 p.m. on Sunday and I spent my Monday on the heating pad. Yesterday, I got up, fully intending to go to work. When it took me 30 minutes to make my lunch, I realized that there was no way I could go in and I crawled back upstairs (literally) and got back into bed. Today I'm at work but I have the heating pad with me. It's helping. I'm still kind of crooked but nothing like I was yesterday. Ideally, I'd love to be at home right now but that's not going to happen so, here I am. Fun times huh??

checking in

Just popping in on the fly. The past couple of days have been completely insane. I didn't get home from work until 10 p.m. last night and I'm heading back in right now. As soon as I finish up later today, we're heading out of town.

It's been a bit of an eating fest around here the past couple of days. Lack of routine really breeds crap eating. Yesterday, I had my typical healthy breakfast but didn't bring my lunch because I had plans with a friend to grab something while we were on a break. No problem, I had a great pita for lunch. I was totally full and it was really a good, healthy option for me. Unfortunately, part of the food service for the event I was working at, was in the room we were in. We were surrounded by tiny chocolate bars, brownies, cookies, etc. I tried to stick to the raw veggies but eventually I gave in and had to have some chocolate. I'm a weak, weak woman. Oh, did I mention that they fed us pizza for dinner? It could always be worse I suppose. At least I wasn't drinking on top of it all, like most of the folks were.

Anyway, I'm outta here for a couple of days. Hopefully I'll be stronger today than I was yesterday. *fingers crossed*

hump day

Fortunately, today is going much better than yesterday. Tuesday was just horrible and I had a total meltdown. I'm not sure why I got so emotional but I did and it's over and I'm okay today.

The week is just going to get busier and busier as it goes along. I'm working a fourteen hour day on Friday and then I have to work on Saturday as well. I've managed to weasel out of things by noon though. As soon as I get home from work, we're going to load up the car and get out of town for a couple of days. I am very very much looking forward to the break. We have plans with friends and plans to just chill out and relax. It'll be a very good time.

Anyway, other than that, there is not much to report. Boring is good sometimes.

horrible

I had a horrible day today, just terrible. I have a tension headache (fortunately it's been slowly ebbing away since I got home from work) and am just generally very upset. I won't get into details but it's been quite emotional and, at a few points this afternoon, I was sobbing at my desk.

Oh well, it's over and I'm home. Fortunately for me, there are no tiny little hallowe'en sized chocolate bars in our house right now or I'd be inhaling them. Instead, I will have my healthy dinner, go walking with my hunny afterwards and try to forget it.

temptations

Do you ever have days when you want to just chuck in the towel and eat nothing but pizza, day in and day out? Sometimes I'll smell something, buttery or cheesey, and have that thought. Of course, pizza every day would be boring and I certainly wouldn't want to kill myself (and that would absolutely happen if I did that) but it's an interesting thought to entertain at times. Just giving up and eating crap would be so much easier than what we're all trying to do. It would not be good or better but it would probably be easier to allow yourself to slide into temptation whenever it faced you than it is to walk away and stick to your guns.

Having said that, today is going okay. I've not given in to any temptations. My eating has been clean and I worked out this morning. That's my plan for the whole of this week too. This weekend, when we go out of town, we have a couple of meals planned at favourite restaurants. We're also planning on staying at our favourite hotel and working out and swimming so that should compensate for the extra, planned, caloric intake. In the meantime, this week is going to be very very busy but at least I have a really lovely carrot dangling on the end of the stick to help me get through it!!

early

I've been up for a while now. My head's a little stuffy, making it difficult to keep sleeping. I'm not complaining though, overall, I slept very well last night.

The past couple of days have been a bit of a blur but it's very peaceful in the house right now. It's still dark and it's raining like crazy. It's been raining for the best part of the past 24 hours. It stopped for a bit yesterday in the morning, just long enough to get a little walk in, but other than that, it's been dark and gloomy. I don't actually mind it though, funnily enough.

Friday at work was nuts. I worked straight through my lunch. I made myself go get my lunch though, and I ate it at my desk while I worked. One thing I've learned over these months of trying to shrink is to not miss lunch. On the whole, I very rarely skip meals anymore. During the week, I get my three squares in. The weekend's are trickier but the weekly routine of three meals works for me.

Yesterday was busy too. We did manage to sleep in a little bit (which was very nice) and went out for brunch. After brunch, we went to a matinee of "Team America: World Police." We don't go to the movies a lot because there is rarely anything that makes it into the theatre in this Podunk town that we actually care to see. This was an exception though. We're both huge South Park fans and we loved Team America. I don't remember the last time I have laughed as much in a movie as I did yesterday. Of course, it's not the kind of humour that all folks will appreciate but we liked it all the same. As I mentioned back in June when we actually went to the movies twice in as many weeks, I also enjoy that I fit into the seats so much better now. It's funny how little things like that just sneak up on you and surprise you from time to time.

After the show, we ran around and got our groceries done. We're stocked up again with good stuff for the week, hopefully this week we'll actually be eating at home. Last week was crazy. We ate out far more than we ate at home. Monday we were at my mum's, Wednesday we had Red Lobster with the little old guy, Thursday, my hunny was sick as a dog so I took him out for soup at our favourite Vietnamese place and Friday night, we ended up going out too. Yikes. This week though, we'll be eating at home. We plan to go to Toronto for the weekend next weekend so we want to save our pennies this week.

In the blur of the past couple of days, I forgot to weigh-in yesterday. I'll have to do it this morning, or tomorrow and report back. This week, given all the eating out we've done, I'll be happy if I don't gain anything!

waiting to be soggy

The forecast calls for nothing but rain here for the next five or six days. Should make for a nice weekend huh?? On the bright side, the rain has not yet started so we may not be in for as much moisture as they're saying.

My appointment with my doctor went well yesterday. She gave me some freebies of a nasal spray to help with my sinus headaches. I haven't had to use it yet but it's nice to know that I have something that should actually help the problem instead of just making the pain go away.

Last night we had our weekly dinner out with the LOG. He wanted to go to Red Lobster. This is always a challenge for me, those buns are sooo good. Anyway, we went and I had a gorgeous salad, some shrimp and even one of those cheddar bay rolls. The thing I am most proud of is that I had only one roll. Baby steps, baby steps...I just keep telling myself that over and over and over again.

Yesterday afternoon, I could have sworn I was getting sick. That cold that is in the office felt like it was creeping up on me. I was kind of worried because I knew that we'd be up late last night, watching the debate. When we did get to bed, I fell asleep quickly and felt much better when I woke up. I could have stayed in the bed all day mind, but I did get up and worked out. The cold feeling is still there, in the back of my head, but I don't think I'll be getting sick like the others around me are. So, cheese buns and fatigue aside, I'm doing okay this week.

being boring

Sometimes I feel like I just repeat myself most days. That's good though, as I've written here before, boring works, most of the time.

Today is going well. I had good night's rest last night yet didn't want to get up. Once I got up, I didn't want to workout. I mean, really didn't want to exercise. For a few minutes, I entertained the idea of not doing it all. Once I got downstairs though and started into my routine, I thought, "okay, this is pretty horrible today, I'll just do five minutes." Well, after five minutes, it was going pretty good. I was still feeling tired but thought, "ten minutes, then breakfast!" Well, I'm pretty pleased to report that I did my full workout. Once I got into it, I couldn't just stop and I'm glad for that.

This afternoon, I'm going back to see my doctor. She was away for a while over the summer and then I got busy so it's been a while since I've checked in with her. I miss our monthly meetings and intend to get back into them again. The reality is that I need the external accountability. I think that's why something like weight watchers works so well for some folks. Lately, I've been thinking about going the WW route, to kick-start things. I found out recently that there is a meeting on Saturday mornings, not far from my house and they have a good introductory deal going on right now. I'm not sure though, I have until the end of this month to decide. Right now, I'm sort of white-knuckling things and I really don't like how that feels. Trying something new might be good for me.

survival

Thanksgiving is over for another year. I'm not upset about this at all. We had dinner at my mum's last night and it felt like I went really overboard when I was there. We had missed the official Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's but we wanted to get together just the five of us so we did it at mum's last night. Anyway, she served roasted pork loin and roasted potatoes, carrots, turnip, broccoli salad (with feta, not cheddar). I had a little bit of everything and was surprised to discover that I stayed within my caloric limit for the day. Luckily, my mum is big into low-fat so she doesn't cook her veg in oil and cover them with fatty sauces.

Overall, the long weekend wasn't bad at all. I did have some snacks on the weekend but we bought small quantities of baked snacks to feed our crunchy/salty craving. Also, for the second weekend in a row, we stayed out of the bulk barn. As I've mentioned here before, it's a big weakness for me so staying clear kept me honest this weekend. The big test will come later this week when I go back there to re-stock my bread making supplies.

Speaking of bread making, that is still going very well. I have not bought a loaf of bread in several weeks now. I make the multi-grain bread for my take-to-work lunches and either pumpernickle or rye for LOG.

Anyway, I'm back at work and back into my regular workout routine and am feeling pretty good right now. The headache I had on the weekend is totally gone. I managed to get through it without having to resort to a handful of ibuprofens. More and more, I'm trying to wean myself off stuff like that. Instead, I drank a lot of water over the weekend and I think that made a difference. Ooh, one last thing for today, I did see a 2 pound loss on Saturday morning when I did my weigh-in. Truthfully, I wasn't expecting much so I'm pretty thrilled about it!! At the moment, any movement in that downward direction is just fabulous!!

weekend wrap-up

Technically, it's still the weekend. I loves me a long weekend. We haven't had any formal thanksgiving celebrations yet. We had planned to go to a big family gathering yesterday but I couldn't go. When I got up yesterday morning I had a blinding, literally, sinus headache. The area around my right eye was throbbing so much, my teeth hurt. I also had a tough time focusing on reading or anything like that. Not good. I did manage to read something in Shape magazine that said sinusitis could be a reaction to mould. Given that the leaves are falling and everything is starting to decay outside, that sort of fits. Also, we were at the dump on Saturday so I could have gotten a lung full of something from the old soggy sofas and mattresses that were laying around.

Saturday was pretty busy. We did a tonne of errands, got some major chores done and squeezed in some walking outside as well. Yesterday I was feeling so crummy, I just rested and didn't worry about exercise, at all. Eating wasn't terrible. I averaged two meals per day on Saturday and Sunday. We went out for lunch/brunch on Saturday and then had kind of a big lunch at home yesterday so I skipped my breakfast both days. Ordinarily I never do that. Not sure what today will bring. We're due to have dinner at my mum's tonight. I'm going to try to get outside for a walk later on. It's kind of cold and wet outside so, if I don't get outside, I'm going to do a mile of WATP. Either way, I'm planning on walking today.

So that's my weekend, in a nutshell. I hope that you're all having a happy thankgiving weekend so far!!

kinds of busy

You know that good kind of busy, the kind where the time is flying and you're getting stuff done? That always feels good, to me anyway. This week has been that bad kind of busy. The time is flying but you never get anything done. You're scattered, disorganized, frustrated and upset. Not good at all.

Even though this has been on of the busiest, most stressful weeks I've had at work in a while, I've been doing very well at keeping things together. Even though I was pretty tired this morning, I worked out. My food consumption has been good and I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm not worried about over-indulging on Thanksgiving or giving in to weekend treats. It won't happen, I won't let it! Somehow, all this insanity that has been swirling around me, has helped me to dig my heels in and just stick to it.

Who knew that good stuff could come out of crap??

chick

I meant to type "quick check" but it came out "chick" mmm...weird. Actually, my whole day has been a big rush. I don't know where it went and I know that I got very little done. My brain is really fried right about now and I totally cannot believe that I still have one more day left this week. At the moment, I feel like it must be Friday. I'm that kind of tired, know what I mean??

Anyway, I just wanted to quickly check in and say that day three went perfectly on plan yesterday. Day four has gone perfectly well too. I just did my tally for the day and my eating was terrific. I've also managed to have really excellent workouts this week so far.

Overall I'm really happy with myself. I feel so good about the clean eating that I won't be upset if I don't a loss this week. Right now, I honestly feel like it's less about the numbers and more about the effort!

three in a row

I'm a little groggy today because we stayed up late last night. Late for us anyway. We watched the vice-presidential debate and quite enjoyed it. You could tell that Cheney was really pissed at Edwards. Even if you watched it with the sound off, you could tell by each candidate's body language who was lying and who was telling the truth. I thought Dick was going to disappear into his blazer a couple of times.

Anyway, I'm on day three and it's going very very well. Yesterday was good. My eating was perfectly on plan, today should be too. We're going out with the LOG for our weekly dinner out. I think I know where we'll be going and what I'm ordering so I'll be fine again today. Now, I don't think I've lost any weight this week yet but I'm feeling good. Despite the sleep deprivation I still have a lot of energy so I know that I'm heading in the right direction.

day two

Day one went very well. I'm quite pleased with myself. I'm back to taking things one day at a time again. It worked before, it'll work again. Last night after dinner, we had to go out and do some errands. We realized last night that we were out of some pretty major staples, garlic for one. Our house cannot function without garlic!!

Anyway, I sat down to make my list and the LOG had asked us to get him some chocolate covered pretzels at the bulk store. I told him that we'd pick some up but I secretly felt this huge feeling of dread. The bulk store is a big weakness for me and after the pancake victory in the morning, I didn't know that I could actually go in there and not give in to all those little orange and black Halloween candies. Fortunately, my lovely hunny offered to go in and get the pretzels for me. I was so relieved to not have to go in there. Sad isn't it?? It's just a store for pete's sake. After that, we went to Costco. They were baking something chocolatey in there. You could smell it very clearly while we checked out the produce section. Again, I sucked it up, ignored my nose and kept walking. I didn't look at the muffins or m & m cookies. I wasn't seduced by the boxes of Christmas candy. It's silly but I stayed strong and didn't eat another bite of food for the rest of the night.

This morning I had another good workout. I rode a little further on my bike interval than I did yesterday. My goal for this week is to increase it a little bit each day and so far, so good. I know it's only day two but hey, a girl's gotta take the NSV's where she finds them.

Right now, I feel really strong and am certain that today will be just as successful as yesterday!! Happy Tuesday everyone!!

better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!

better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!

better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!

better and better

I am feeling much better today. The headache I've had for several days has disappeared, finally. My eyes are still a little wonky but much better than they have been. Honestly, I'm not sure what's been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks but I really feel good today.

Last night, I had a tough time getting to sleep but when I did, I didn't move all night. This morning I felt rested and got up and did my workout without any trouble at all. I feel really committed to this particular re-start, stronger than I have in a good long while. I'm going to work on getting my hunny to walk with me each night after dinner. Even if it's just a quick 20 minutes around the block, it'll do us both a world of good.

I have a good, non-scale victory to fess up to this morning too. When I got into work, I forgot that this morning was the kick-off of the United Way campaign here. One of my coworkers is the co-chair of this year's campaign and we'd all said that we'd go. The kick-off this year was a pancake and sausage breakfast, for $2 per person. When the first wave of folks went over, I stayed behind. I just didn't feel like I needed to subject myself to all that food, so early in the day, on the first day of my restart. About 30 minutes later, my really good office buddy came in, a little late, and didn't want to go over on her own. I sucked it up, went over with her, for moral support but didn't eat anything. I feel pretty good about that because, while I can take or leave sausage, I loves me a good pancake. So, go me!! I think I'm off to an excellent start already!!

update and shopping

So I actually remembered to get on the scale yesterday morning. It had been a couple of weeks since I'd weighed-in and I wasn't too happy with what I saw. The scale had moved but it was not in a direction that I like. To be honest though, I'm not entirely surprised. Over the past couple of weeks, my efforts have been hit and miss at best and I knew it.

Just to add salt to the wound, I decided that I had better get my butt to the shoppes and try to find some new clothes for work. I was able to find one pair of cords, a pair of dress pants and a pair of more casual pants as well as two pullovers and a blouse. I'm still into the same size I was last time I went shopping (although I did try on a couple of tops that were a size smaller than I normally wear -- I didn't like them but they did actually fit so that's something). My belly is still much bigger than I'd like it to be, hence the no change in the pants size. At any rate, I should be pleased to have found anything, remembering back to two years ago when I literally could not find anything locally that fit me so most of my clothes were being purchased via mail order. Finding a blouse that fit was a nice surprise too. It's been ages since I've been able to wear a top that wasn't a pullover. I tried on a few winter coats too but I just didn't like them and didn't want to spend that much money on outerwear when my current coat will do me for another year.

If nothing else, the weigh-in and the shopping trip have provided me with a renewed inspiration. I plan to lose some of my belly, very soon, so that my new pants will fit a little better than they do. I'd really like to be into a smaller pants size by new years. I want to be "shrinking girl" again, instead of "gains and loses the same 5 pounds girl." I don't like that girl as much as I liked shrinking girl. I miss shrinking girl so I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with her over the next few months.

tgif

I'm so glad that the weekend is almost here. Between being sick on Monday and being absolutely exhausted for the past two days, I'm ready for a break. I've had an annoying headache for the past couple of days too. It's a sinus thing and it's driving me bananas.

We did stay up and watch the debate last night. I'm glad we did, it was interesting. Bush looked trapped. He was jumpy and defensive and looked extremely uncomfortable. Of course, he kept repeating the same thing over and over again (and subsequently lying and lying) so they didn't get to discuss too many things but it was good all the same. I think Kerry did a brilliant job.

Because we stayed up so late (2 hours past our bedtime!), neither of us wanted to get up this morning. We did though, the normal routine was stuck to and all's well so far. My eating stayed on plan yesterday and so far today I'm doing okay too. Not sure how the scale will treat me tomorrow, I'll just have to wait and see I guess!