day 89 - an april fool

Last night when I got home, I had to prepare for our meeting with the real estate agent to list our house. As I sat in front of my computer, making notes for the meeting, I thought I would throw up. Everything kind of hit me, how we had bought a house and still hadn't sold ours. I felt completely, physically ill. Instead of going outside and walking around and getting some air like a normal person, I kept making notes and I started shovelling chocolate into my face. Yeah, you heard it, we had chocolate in the house, still do in fact. At C*stco the other night, we bought a bag of these tiny little milk chocolate bars. They are absolutely delicious and truly are something to be savored. Last night though, I was the amazing chocolate hoovering girl. It was disgusting. I kept eating them, my stomach still felt gross, I was freaking out. Eventually, I put the bag down, stopped eating and went downstairs for dinner. Yeah, you heard it, dinner on top of the chocolate. Fucked up or what??

So we had dinner, the agent arrived, we had our meeting. About 1/2 through the meeting, I had to excuse myself and run to the loo where I was violently ill. Fortunately, it was a brief bout of violent illness and I felt better when it was over. I felt calmer and confident that everything would work out. My question now though, is why did I eat that chocolate?? I didn't want or need it. It didn't make me feel any better, I knew it was wrong when I was doing it and yet, I did it anyway.

Gah! Luckily, I've been managing to keep up with my workouts so at least everything hasn't fallen, colossally to shit. Also, I stepped back on the scale this morning and noticed that I have maintained again. Officially I weigh in tomorrow but I'm not expecting to see any dramatic loss, not with the amount of chocolate I ingested yesterday.

I wish that this post were an April Fool's joke but sadly, it's not. The sooner all of this house selling stuff is behind us, the better it will be for everyone.