behind

For months now, months and months actually, I feel like I'm perpetually playing catch-up. It happens at work, constantly, at home, everywhere. I owe the world and their uncles emails, I'm almost scurrying to try to get one project done while three others are landing on my desk. Out of control and constantly behind, that's how I feel.



For the past few weeks, the only thing that I seem to have any control over is my weight loss efforts. For some reason, finally, I can focus on it and I'm still working at it. Throughout all of 2005, I allowed all of the other crazy shit that was going on in my life (work insanity, family health issues, buying and selling of houses) to get in my way. I used it all as an excuse to allow myself to eat anything and everything I wanted. So far, in 2006 (and I know that it's still technically January), I'm not letting that happen again. I'm surprised and slightly impressed with myself for that.

Where this new born resolve came from, I'm not sure. It sure wasn't around last year at all. Part of me feels like I shouldn't question it, rather, I just enjoy it and keep going. The other part of me says that if I don't know where it's coming from, it'll be easy for it to slide away again. Hopefully, that won't happen. Goodness knows that I don't want it to. My plan right now is to enjoy it and keep on working...plan the work, work the plan...that's my mantra right now and so far, so good.