recharged, renewed, restarted

Today we are officially starting over. I've gotten so slack and lazy about things over the past few months that I'm officially disappointed with myself.

I watched the end of Dr. Phil's weight-loss challenge yesterday and was totally inspired. I was sooo happy to see that Jim won, he totally deserved it and I was cheering for him all along. Watching it though, I realized that my backsliding started around the time challenge began. From January to September 2003, I was kicking serious weight-loss butt. I realized yesterday that I have to get back on track, once and for all.

I've been stuck in a rut and haven't lost anything recently. I keep losing and gaining the same five pounds and I want off that merry-go-round. There a few things that have allowed me to wallow in the rut; work has been beyond insane over the past 9 months and we've been running ourselves ragged at home getting things read for LOG to move in. Since he's moved in, we've been running ourselves ragged still, getting him settled in, unpacked, etc. I'm not going to allow crazy life crap to get in the way of what my original goals were: to get fit and healthy and lose some weight.

Really, I feel good about the fact that I didn't gain back everything that I lost last year. On many levels, the habits I developed last year are still there (the intentional exercise thing is a solid one for sure) but I've also allowed myself to slide back into some bad behaviors that I'm not happy about. Misbehaving on the weekends was a big part of what was holding me back. I guess part of me felt that if I could put up with all the crap at work all week, and I was exercising five days a week, and I'd accomplished a bunch of stuff around the house to do with the move, it was okay to eat chocolate or cookies or whatever on the weekend. That's all over. I'm not accepting that anymore.

This morning I'm starting over. Clean eating, good workouts, improved attitude. My hunny is getting back on track with me. We're going to do this 100% and we'll help each other out along the way. I'm going to re-read Dr. Phil's book over the next few days and get my head sorted out again. I know what I have to do, now I just have to get it done!