chocolate is my bitch

Again, today, the chocolate cravings were brutal. You have NO idea (okay, if you're reading this blog, you probably do) what it was like. I can hardly believe that I survived it!

Work was busy today but not insane. I'm getting much better at controlling my emotions and I'm getting some help from others within the department so things aren't as scary as they were at the beginning of the week. I actually had time to eat my lunch and snacks today and felt better for it. It feels like things are getting more manageable now, I'm stressed but not crazy stressed. Like I said, manageable is the keyword!

Food was good today. I had a banana for morning snack, ate my lunch and then had a tangelo for my afternoon snack. It was so tasty and juicy but the sourness of it shocked me. It's been so long since I had one I'd forgotten. I mean, it looks like an orange, it kind of smells like an orange but boy howdy, it was sour. Good sour though, really really yummy once I adjusted to it.

I had to leave work early this afternoon as my hunny and I both had eye appointments. We both got clean check ups (which, yay, means not having to purchase new glasses for either of us -- that saved us about $700!!) but were both brain dead and tired after the appointment (not to mention my pupils are STILL dilated right now). We decided to go out for dinner and did okay. I had fish and salad and managed to stick way under in the calorie department for the day. After dinner though, I said to my hunny, "this is when I really want to be bad, when I really want dessert." He agreed and said that it's chemical because your body thinks it needs the glucose to digest dinner. We were strong in the restaurant and didn't order any dessert; this was not an easy feat! It seemed like everyone around us was either having huge ice cream sundaes or Mississippi mud pie.

After we left the restaurant, we had to do some banking. As we pulled into the plaza, we both sort of kept looking over toward the Shoppers Drug Mart and the Loeb store. We both really wanted to go across the plaza and get something sweet, ice cream or something like it. We finished our banking and got back into the car and actually discussed the possibility of having one little treat. I put my foot down though and said, "let's just get home, I have to pee and anything that we get now, we'll just regret later." He agreed totally and we came home. On the way home I pointed out that we had lots of fresh fruit, sugar free freezies, fat free pudding cups, etc. to snack on and that's what we did. I had a pudding, he had a tangelo and some prunes. I told him that I was going to make chocolate my bitch, not have it the other way around. I feel SOOOO good about that.

Add all of that to the exercise I did this morning and it adds up to a great day. I must admit, when I woke up this morning, I could feel that I was fighting the cold that everyone in my office seems to have right now but I did it anyway. I started out slow and ended up doing a great workout. I was sweaty and tired when it was over but I felt much better. I have to keep focused on how good I feel at the end of a perfectly on plan day and try not to forget it when my chocolate comes by me, shaking her sweet ass in my face!!