thinner day

Don't get me wrong, I have never been nor will I ever be a skinny girl. It's not in my genetic make up and I'm fine with it (think "big boned gal" by k.d. lang). My goal all along has been improved overall health and longevity. Having said that, I'm feeling thinner today than I have in a while. I'm thinking that it's because I've managed 5 days of avoiding crap. The carb bloat I'd been experiencing seems to be disappearing and I've return to just plain old fat. It's pretty frightening to see what over processed / bad carbs will do to a body. It hasn't stopped me wanting them though. For some reason, it's been a huge struggle all this week but it's helped so much to know that I have support here and over at Weigh Better.

Last night, after dinner, the cravings got really bad. We had bought a package of "Nutter Butters" in Watertown on the weekend (if you can buy them here in Canada I've never seen 'em - that's why we picked 'em up on the weekend, for a treat). There were about 15 cookies left in a rubbermaid container sitting on the counter. I kept looking at them while I did the dishes and, after everything was cleaned up and put away, I got myself a huge glass of ice water and grabbed ONE cookie. Just one. I munched on it while I sat in front of the computer, checking my email. It was delicious, and it was enough to feed my craving and I didn't go over on my calories for the day. This was a huge accomplishment for me, to just have one cookie. Thinking about it now, I'm impressed that we had that many left over and that they lasted all week! I know that I used to do this sort of thing all the time when I first started on my program...exhibit self control without feeling deprived. It's something that I'm relearning this week.

I think that avoiding junk in general is what's been helping me keep this cold thing at bay too. I woke up all stuffy again this morning but I exercised anyway. After 35 minutes of sweating, my head cleared up a bit. I'm really hoping the good workouts I've had, combined with the good food choices will help show a difference on the scale tomorrow. Even if they don't, for whatever reasons (my scale is possessed!), I'll be okay with that. I'm trying to be satisfied with the knowledge that every choice I made this week was good for me.

Right now, I'm a little worried about the weekend. That's always a huge test for me, getting through a whole weekend without fucking it up. I brought some work home with this weekend (not a lot, just a little) and I have some projects I need to sort out around here so I'm hoping that will keep me busy enough to avoid temptation. I also received the first issue of my new subscription to Shape in the mail today so I'll be reading that (along with the Self I bought last week but still haven't read yet). Just looking at the girl on the cover of the April issue of Shape is enough to make me not want to pick up any chocolate this weekend.

On that note, I'm heading off to find my hunny. We've both stayed perfectly on plan all week and I think we're going to treat ourselves to dinner out tonight. Not sure where exactly we'll end up but I've got my steel-toed boots on to kick myself or him if we try to order anything deep fried or covered in cheese!!