have I told you lately that I rock?

Probably not. Over the past couple of weeks I have been feeling good but the "rockin" feeling hasn't been there. Boy, the last couple of days it has been. How come, on occasion, self-deprivation feels so good?

Yesterday morning, while I was in the no-air-in-the-room meeting, someone brought in home made chocolate chip cookies. They smelled so good and there were two plates circulating around the room. One of the plates kept landing about 8 inches from where I was writing in my notebook and they smelled so good I could feel my mouth start to water. I was strong though, I didn't have any, even though they looked amazing and I know that the person who baked them doesn't have a bunch of cats hanging out in her kitchen and chocolate chip are my absolute favourite cookie.

Fast forward to this morning. Another meeting, this time the room has lovely large windows and a gorgeous breeze is blowing through the place. I walk in, water bottle in hand, and see a big spread of cookies, juice and soda. Why must it always be cookies?? Chocolate cookies with white chocolate chunks, macadamia nuts...regular chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal raisin... Again, they smelled terrific and everyone around me was eating them. They were the large chewy variety as well. I stuck to my guns, sipped my water and didn't have any cookies.

Just as I was feeling really good about myself and was secretly high-fiving myself for not giving into temptation a cake comes into the room. Our Executive Director is celebrating a milestone birthday this weekend so they had a little humiliation ceremony for her. The cake looked gorgeous, white cake and gooey white cream icing, whole fresh strawberries perched upon icing roses, sliced strawberries in whipped cream in the middle of it...little pieces of chocolate sticking out all over the place....oh.my.god. Talk about torture. As they were distributing pieces of this cake around the room, I got offered a piece TWICE. Both times I said no but holy crap, this is out of hand!!

So, while I've had cravings this week, and I've had sweets being shoved into my face for the past few days, I've not given in. Not once!! I've had totally clean eating, I've been 100% on plan all week (I've exercised every morning this week). I did break a promise to myself though and hopped on the scale this morning. I just had to. If I wasn't going to let myself eat cookies, at least I could give into a craving that wouldn't go straight to my hips. Anyway, I know it's not "official" (because I officially weigh-in on Saturdays) but I'm into virgin fat territory!!! According to the scale this morning, I lost 4 pounds this week. Hopefully I won't retain a crap load of water overnight tonight and screw up my official weigh-in. As I type this, I'm chugging water like nobody's business in attempt to avoid just this!! I'd so love to be able to be record what I saw today, tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me, I soooo want to see that again tomorrow!!