I noticed something really quite neat on the weekend: my legs are coming back. Now, don't think I lost them like the way that guy lost his dick in "Detachable Penis" or that they were amputated. My legs were covered (and still are I guess) with a big layer of fat. The fat layer is getting smaller though and I can see my old legs starting to poke through.

I have a picture of myself that was taken during the summer I was 14. I was wearing blue satin shorts and a tube top (yes, so what?! I was 14, it as 1981 for pete's sake, it was "fashionable" okay!?) and I'm standing bare-foot on a flat rock with Lake Ontario slapping against my ankles. Whenever I see this photo I think, "wow, I had me some legs back then." Of course, back then, I thought I was fat because my mother had told me that I was. I'm not going into the whole horrible/boring mother thing again... I just would be really really pleased if I could ever look like that again.

Yesterday, I stood in front of my full length mirror in my bedroom and looked at my legs, really checked them out. They definitely look slimmer, a lot slimmer. This is from the biking. For the past several weeks, when I've looked at my bare legs, I couldn't see any change. I know that they are smaller because I've got the measurements to prove it and my pants are all big through the legs. They just looked really gross, bumpy/ripple-y and large. The bumps and ripples are really getting less noticeable. My calves are looking muscular and my knees, well let's just say that I have knees and not little bumps that sort of stick out from my fat.

Later in the day, I was bending over, putting a DVD into the player and my hunny commented on my legs, that they looked a lot thinner. Confirmation! Just what I needed, I definitely have slimmer legs. yay! I think that most of the weight I have lost so far has happened below the waist. I mean, I've lost some all over but I'm noticing the biggest change in my hips and legs. The "saddle bags" attached to my outer thighs are shrinking and my butt feels like it's getting less droopy. My ankles hardly ever get swollen on humid days now and when they do, it's just a little bit and they don't hurt like they did last summer.

I'm really happy about this. I'm happy about a lot of things lately. Even when I have a lapse and give into a craving for something bad, instead of beating myself up about it, I'm trying to focus (a la Taylore) on how much I do for myself now, that is good for me:

• I eat a healthy, well-balanced breakfast, every day


• I exercise for at least 30 minutest, 5 to 6 days a week, every week


• I read the labels on everything I eat


• I get 8 hours of sleep most nights


• I drink water, all day (my skin says "thanks")

I could make the list longer but I think you get the point! I'm really trying to keep really positive and constantly remind myself of how far I've come so far! I would suggest that, whenever you're feeling like kicking your own ass for being "bad," that you kick once and then make a list of your "good" behavior. It really helps me to keep focused on the big picture...Or is that the smaller (me) picture?